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jbean209

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jbean209

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 19 July 1995 (19 years)
  • <3 status : Not so sure
  • Number of visits : 354
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About jbean209 : they call me jelly and i like it ... also im an internet troll half dah timr but im really a depressed kid on the inside :-(

jbean209's page activity

Visits<b>Slambz14</b> - the 06/16/2013 at 2:20pm<b>AllenRed</b> - the 06/01/2013 at 10:54pm<b>JillianBall</b> - the 06/01/2013 at 3:02pm<b>cosicosei</b> - the 04/20/2013 at 1:43pm<b>leaxxb</b> - the 03/23/2013 at 4:01pm<b>theawkwardlife</b> - the 03/06/2013 at 9:33am<b>Smartdumbblonde</b> - the 03/06/2013 at 6:45am<b>flupsht</b> - the 02/04/2013 at 3:44am<b>ydi_4_suking</b> - the 01/28/2013 at 2:25pm<b>oj101</b> - the 01/27/2013 at 2:01am

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jbean209's favorite FMLs

Today, my 14-year-old daughter convinced my son that when he was born, he was actually born as a girl, but we wanted a boy so bad we had his gender changed. Now he wants to change back to a girl because now he doesn't feel right as a boy. Last year, she got her other brother to cross dress. FML

#20832766
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49166) - you deserved it (5201)

On 08/11/2013 at 8:58pm - kids - by mydaughterisdisturbed - United States (Indiana)

Today, I found out why my cat hasn't been coming home for regular meals. Apparently, my elderly next door neighbour has forgotten that her cat is dead and puts food out for it every morning. My cat is exploiting her by impersonating her dead cat to get better food. My cat is an asshole. FML

#20110144
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27398) - you deserved it (4722)

On 10/10/2012 at 4:43am - animals - by assholecat (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I heard of an inevitable world-wide bacon shortage on the news. FML

#20089182
394 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27805) - you deserved it (4934)

On 09/26/2012 at 2:57am - misc - by bacon lovers worst nightmare - United States (California)

Today, I was in line at the pharmacy when the man in front of me asked if I wanted to see a picture of a turd that looked like an uncircumcised penis. Before I had time to answer, he showed me a picture of a turd that looked like an uncircumcised penis. FML

#19981127
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25018) - you deserved it (2003)

On 07/24/2012 at 5:51am - misc - by Uncircumcised Penis - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, if you live in California, you might have seen a crazy drunk guy naked in front of a McDonald's, waving at everyone. Yeah, that was probably me. FML

#19618137
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8138) - you deserved it (30557)

On 05/13/2012 at 6:30pm - misc - by smh (man) - United States (California)

Today, I'm recovering from colon surgery. They gave me codeine as pain relief, which has made me constipated. I'm currently sat on the toilet, trying to push out what feels like a small child wrapped in barbed wire out without busting my stitches. FML

#19405476
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28809) - you deserved it (1695)

On 04/04/2012 at 6:13am - health - by screaming monkey - United Kingdom (Windsor and Maidenhead)

Today, my family had dinner with my future in-laws for the first time. After a bottle of wine to herself, my mother loudly insisted that I'm out of her will. Apparently, I "molest towels" and leave them to "fester for days" in my "den of depravity". I'm sure they'll give me their daughter now. FML

#18914939
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23059) - you deserved it (2703)

On 01/26/2012 at 9:49am - love - by The Towel Molester (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I woke up to the sound of a Suburban crashing through my fence and striking the tree in my front yard. After filling out the police report, the driver repeatedly asked me to give him a lift to work. He seemed confused by my speechlessness. FML

#18880054
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23078) - you deserved it (1991)

On 01/22/2012 at 12:57pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, my boyfriend decided that vaginal, oral, and anal sex are starting to get boring. Let's just say that my armpit is now drenched in lube. I'm afraid of what he's going to want to try once he gets bored of this. FML

#18370889
267 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37938) - you deserved it (9331)

On 11/27/2011 at 10:03pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I came home from work to my 3 year old daughter sniffing the rug in the living room. When I asked her what she was doing she said "Daddy smell this." So I went, got on my knees and bent down to smell it and she pushed my face in the dog crap smeared in the rug. FML

#18049596
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30004) - you deserved it (6793)

On 10/22/2011 at 10:06pm - kids - by me - United States (Maine)

Today, I wore my brand new Wonderbra to school. When I got home, my dad looked at me and started laughing hysterically. Between breaths, he asked if anyone actually thought my chest was that big and said "You know why it's called a Wonderbra? Guys take it off and wonder where your tits went." FML

#17953738
432 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34434) - you deserved it (24580)

On 10/10/2011 at 6:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I thought my hamster might be lonely, so I went to the pet shop and bought a new one to keep him company. The new hamster killed the old one. FML

#17727112
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28761) - you deserved it (12051)

On 09/12/2011 at 9:52am - animals - by squeak (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I walked in on my parents discussing how to kill our cat, and how to make it look like an accident. FML

#17508595
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37681) - you deserved it (3001)

On 08/18/2011 at 9:38am - animals - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Bexley)

Today, I was dared to eat durian. With my reputation hanging in the balance, I bought one. Only after I opened it did I realize the extent of the dare. It smelled and tasted like dried cat shit that Satan himself had regurgitated. FML

#17243352
364 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10401) - you deserved it (32011)

On 07/24/2011 at 5:01pm - misc - by cadillacfrank - United States

Today, my mom scolded me for not taking driving lessons already. This comes a few days after she told me that, "Allowing teenagers to drive is just another way of thinning out the gene pool". FML

#17232023
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24524) - you deserved it (2779)

On 07/23/2011 at 5:50pm - misc - by Norah (woman) - United States



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