About japtap81 : Single and looking
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You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
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Today, during my first day as a medical intern in a new ward, I was performing a rectal exam. My supervisor thought it would be funny to burst into the room and scream, "Who are you?! You don't even work here, you pervert!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (41314) - you deserved it (3134) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 01/30/2013 at 4:57pm - love - by dr mamour - Sent from mobile version
Today, I took my new girlfriend to meet my grandmother. We were drinking coffee when my gran leaned to one side and let out a huge fart. Proud of herself, she added, "That one didn't pay his rent on time!" Coffee came out of my girlfriend's nose. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25357) - you deserved it (3099) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 01/29/2013 at 2:56pm - love - by jay ze punk - France (Rhone-Alpes)
Today, while moving into my new place, I saw my new, elderly neighbor sitting on her porch. I cheerfully greeted her with, "Hello, how are you?" She simply rocked slowly in her chair and replied, "Just waiting to die." She was the most cheerful person I met all day. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24440) - you deserved it (1507)
On 01/16/2013 at 6:22pm - misc - by Kallian - United States
I agree, your life sucks (33665) - you deserved it (6516)
On 01/14/2013 at 12:58pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, while giving my girlfriend a back-rub, she moaned and commented, "If only you could fuck this well." FML
I agree, your life sucks (26633) - you deserved it (6191)
On 01/12/2013 at 12:57pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Norway (Rogaland)
Today, during a conversation, my boss said, "What, what?" Before I could stop myself, I replied, "In the butt." FML
I agree, your life sucks (9464) - you deserved it (19031)
On 12/04/2012 at 9:43pm - work - by whitecollar - United Kingdom (York)
Today, I had a date with a girl I'd been seeing for about a month. When I got home, I saw her facebook status changed to "In a relationship". This made me kind of excited, until I realized it wasn't with me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24924) - you deserved it (2564)
On 02/05/2011 at 2:16am - love - by sadman (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, to enhance our sex life, my boyfriend and I decided to have sex in our local mall's parking lot. The feeling of getting caught is fun and exhilarating. Until you actually get caught. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8579) - you deserved it (37199)
On 02/04/2011 at 10:27pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I told my mom I broke up with my boyfriend because he wanted to have sex and I wasn't ready. Her reply? "Well, you can't stay a virgin forever." FML
I agree, your life sucks (29881) - you deserved it (12405)
On 02/02/2011 at 1:16pm - intimacy - by Missy (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, at a restaurant, I ordered the best chocolate soufflé on the menu, which was called "Double Satisfaction". The waiter asked me what would I like to order. The words that came out of my mouth were "Double Orgasm". FML
I agree, your life sucks (14870) - you deserved it (33249)
On 02/01/2011 at 12:42pm - intimacy - by theshameofit (woman) - Cyprus (Limassol)
Today, my girlfriend finally got a Facebook account. Too bad she doesn't know the difference between a wall post and a message. She just described how much she enjoyed our sex last night, in great detail. My mom liked it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41275) - you deserved it (7482)
On 01/31/2011 at 5:46pm - intimacy - by anon - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, my mother walked in on me and my boyfriend having sex. Afterwards, she informed me I would look a lot hotter if I smiled more. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24617) - you deserved it (6535)
On 01/29/2011 at 7:41am - intimacy - by anonymous - Australia (Victoria)
Today, my parents, not trusting me and my boyfriend, told us to call them in the middle of our movie so they could hear it, and prove we weren't up to no good. Well, I called. Just as a raging sex scene started. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25103) - you deserved it (8687)
On 01/25/2011 at 12:11pm - intimacy - by totallyscrewedomg - United States (Texas)
Today, I found my electric globe. It asks you where a state, country or city is and you would have to find it and click on it with the pen. I also found out that my parents would sneak into my room at night, take it and play 'strip-globe'. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18103) - you deserved it (1922)
On 01/25/2011 at 9:10am - intimacy - by Charlotte -
Today, one week after my girlfriend berated me for not being invested enough in our relationship, I proposed to her. Her answer? "I meant give me an orgasm, not a ring!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (27170) - you deserved it (8502)
On 01/24/2011 at 4:00pm - intimacy - by Limalia (man) - Switzerland (Zurich)
Friday 24 May 2013
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