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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Sunday 15 August 1993 (22 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 279
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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izekaslam's page activity

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izekaslam's favorite FMLs

Today, I asked my boyfriend how he felt about me and he said, "You're the hottest seven I've ever met." FML


I agree, your life sucks (32266) - you deserved it (4094)

On 01/06/2015 at 10:54pm - love - by LadyNexus (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I let my coworker use my PC during lunch, because his was having problems. A few hours later, my boss called me into his office and gave me hell for apparently looking at furry porn during lunch break. He won't believe my explanation. For fuck's sake, Dave. FML

Today, I went with my girlfriend to the gym for the first time. I knew I was in bad shape, but I bet her that I could lift more than her. Not only did I get my ass handed to me by a 5', 115lbs girl in front of the entire gym, I also have to attend Zumba in bright pink spandex. FML


I agree, your life sucks (28363) - you deserved it (41075)

On 08/07/2014 at 11:36am - health - by Dancing King (man) - Norway (Rogaland)

Today, I went out to lunch with my girlfriend. I asked if she was going to finish her meal, hoping to steal a bite or two. She somehow took this as me calling her fat, threw her drink at me, and stormed off. I just wanted some steak. FML


I agree, your life sucks (50535) - you deserved it (11292)

On 07/15/2014 at 4:37pm - love - by Jeff - United States

Today, while working in a call center at a university, someone threatened to report me to the President of the University because "I" wouldn't accept their daughter who had a 1.5 GPA and "got accepted into Harvard". I don't even make the decisions, I just answer calls. FML

Today, my mother thought it would be funny to sneak into my room at night and scream like a demon after I had explained to her how scared I was of the exorcist movie I had just seen. She claims it wasn't her. FML


I agree, your life sucks (44627) - you deserved it (5982)

On 02/08/2014 at 12:13pm - misc - by so scared - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my girlfriend and I were quite drunk while we were fooling around on the couch, when I decided I wanted to lose my virginity to her. I was two thrusts in when she burst out laughing. Looking down, I realized I was between her cheeks and the couch cushion. I lost my virginity to her couch. FML


I agree, your life sucks (57406) - you deserved it (20329)

On 02/07/2014 at 9:18am - intimacy - by Unknown - United States (Iowa)

Today, my boyfriend admitted to subtly encouraging me to do stupid things because he finds my "bimbo moments" hilarious. FML


I agree, your life sucks (39056) - you deserved it (7984)

On 02/06/2014 at 1:57am - love - by a2 (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my evening was shot to hell when I found my pregnant wife on the floor, sobbing because we'd run out of cheese sticks. FML


I agree, your life sucks (46299) - you deserved it (8717)

On 01/31/2014 at 5:08pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was in the process of finally losing my virginity. Part-way through, my neighbour started shouting from his backyard, "Go, Nicolas! You can do it!" He was talking to his son, but the two of us have the same name. I couldn't finish. FML


I agree, your life sucks (59947) - you deserved it (6632) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/31/2014 at 4:05pm - intimacy - by prochainefois (man) - Sent from mobile version

Today, I received a poorly-written letter from my asshole neighbor in which he threatened to "sew" me because my dog shat on his lawn again. I went over, asked if he needed some wool for his sewing, and told him to stop being an idiot. Now he's apparently hiring a lawyer for real. FML


I agree, your life sucks (41528) - you deserved it (23116)

On 12/05/2013 at 5:26pm - misc - by possibly a sweater (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I realized that no matter what I accomplish in life, I'll always be remembered for being the son of a woman so stupid that she claimed she used to be Elvis Presley's mistress. She was still an infant when he died. FML


I agree, your life sucks (46266) - you deserved it (3140)

On 11/23/2013 at 6:45pm - misc - by fs (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my husband and I were arguing, but I dropped it so we could calm down before discussing the matter again. Later on, he made us lasagna. The moment I swallowed the first mouthful, he smirked, then started snickering uncontrollably. What the fuck did he do to my food? FML


I agree, your life sucks (48383) - you deserved it (5489)

On 11/02/2013 at 1:34pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while working customer service, I instructed a customer to press the pound key on her cellphone. She hesitated a moment before asking, "Um, the pound key? You mean the hashtag, right?" FML


I agree, your life sucks (44409) - you deserved it (4135)

On 11/01/2013 at 12:49pm - work - by #isthisthepoundkey? - United States (Florida)

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Friday 27 November 2015

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