About itsalanis : I'm Alan. Some people like to nickname me Alanis instead.
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You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
Between your Facebook account and your FML account, things are no longer complicated: their relationship is official. We like this.
itsalanis's favorite FMLs
by MrConcise / 05/01/2013 at 12:28pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anon / 04/22/2013 at 3:19am / Singapore / Miscellaneous
Today, it's my only day off work in a while. I told my boss I'd be available via phone in case of emergencies. So far I've been called three times: To ask how the fax works, to let me know it's a slow day, and to ask me where the letter R is on a keyboard. FML
by Anonymous / 04/19/2013 at 6:17am / Germany (Berlin) / Work
by KatiRozz1 / 04/17/2013 at 1:40pm / United Kingdom (Middlesbrough) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 04/17/2013 at 1:39am / United States (California) / Intimacy
by NiquetChrome / 04/14/2013 at 7:18pm / France / Miscellaneous
Today, I forgot to log out of my Facebook account before leaving for work. When I got back home, I discovered that my brother had gone through and commented "quack" on all my friend's duckfacing photos. She was not pleased. FML
by reallythough / 04/13/2013 at 2:07pm / United Kingdom (Oxfordshire) / Miscellaneous
by Wow / 04/11/2013 at 8:52am / United States / Love
Today, my boyfriend and I went to the store to buy oranges and pick up a pack of condoms. When we were at the checkout counter, my boyfriend happily told the cashier, "The only way we can have sex is if we squeeze oranges all over our bodies." FML
by Anonymous / 04/10/2013 at 12:28am / United States / Intimacy
Today, at work as a gynecologist, I called in my last patient of the day. As soon as I took a peek, I noticed that she had stuck googly-eyes above her vagina. She told me with a straight face not to be afraid, because "She doesn't bite." FML
by Anonymous / 04/09/2013 at 2:01pm / United States / Health
by confusedcatlover / 04/06/2013 at 7:42am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 04/03/2013 at 5:17am / United States / Kids
by Anonymous / 04/02/2013 at 6:30am / United States (Texas) / Work
Today, my neighbours came to yell at me as they could hear my "shit music" through my window during the afternoon, so I turned it off. They then began to play their definition of "quality music" into the late hours of the night. I was listening to the Beatles. They blasted Nicki Minaj. FML
by BornInTheWrongEra / 03/31/2013 at 2:24am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I was chatting with a co-worker, and she mentioned she has trouble swallowing pills. I replied that I'm lucky, because I have next to no gag reflex. Half the guys at the other registers abruptly went silent, and I'm now being constantly hit on. FML
by Anonymous / 03/28/2013 at 4:56pm / France (Champagne-Ardenne) / Work