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itsalanis

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itsalanis
  • Town/Country : Denver, USA
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Friday 12 June 1992 (20 years)
  • Number of visits : 742
  • Number of comments : 122
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About itsalanis : I'm Alan. Some people like to call me Alanis instead.

itsalanis's last visitors

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100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

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itsalanis's favorite FMLs

Today, my mom tried to diagnose my sickness with advice she'd gotten from a dog magazine. FML

#17848312
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18052) - you deserved it (1363)

On 09/27/2011 at 3:25pm - health - by fml - United States

Today, at work while on the toilet, somebody came into the stall next to me and gave a loud play by play of every fart, plop, and grunt. He then asked loudly who I was and when I didn't answer put his head under the stall to look at me. FML

#17839732
240 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32492) - you deserved it (2305)

On 09/26/2011 at 2:52pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I found out that the new management position I'm supposed to start in two days was delayed for a month and a half. I already quit my current job and called my boss gay. FML

#17801951
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7061) - you deserved it (34194)

On 09/22/2011 at 1:20am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I realized too late that a picture in my school Powerpoint presentation of thousands of New Zealand sheep, was actually a picture of thousands of naked men in a field. FML

#17709255
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12726) - you deserved it (27020)

On 09/10/2011 at 3:11am - misc - by FullOfNick (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I decided to get back into shape. I went for a jog around my neighborhood. The ice cream truck followed me for my whole jog, mocking me. FML

#17703209
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25745) - you deserved it (2850)

On 09/09/2011 at 9:36am - health - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I bought a Halloween costume for my cat. FML

#17544670
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6523) - you deserved it (25947)

On 08/22/2011 at 2:04am - animals - by vishuzzbabe77 - United States

Today, my girlfriend woke me up at 5 am because she thought someone was watching her from the park. It was a trash can. FML

#17507897
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20424) - you deserved it (2222)

On 08/18/2011 at 6:02am - misc - by boyfriend123 - United States

Today, someone broke into my car just to steal the freshly baked cookies in the back seat. They also left a thank you note. FML

#17384157
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23386) - you deserved it (2441)

On 08/06/2011 at 1:53am - misc - by nomorecookies - United States (Missouri)

Today, I went into a crowded store and tried out a blazer. I was thinking to myself how hot I looked in it when the manager tapped me on the shoulder and politely said, "Excuse me sir, that's a ladies' blazer." FML

#17374086
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19847) - you deserved it (8608)

On 08/05/2011 at 1:45am - misc - by Fred - Japan

Today, my son drew in Sharpie all over the wall, so I spanked him as punishment. When my boss came over for dinner, my son shouted, "Daddy made me take my punishment in the butt." FML

#17338982
319 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36280) - you deserved it (10747)

On 08/02/2011 at 12:58am - kids - by ohcrap - United States (Colorado)

Today, my 17 year old asked me whether to chew or swallow grapes. I raised this dumbass. FML

#17302566
277 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22808) - you deserved it (12724)

On 07/29/2011 at 10:10pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, I realized that since I started working full time, the only friend I have left is my cat. Lonely and bored out of my mind, I told him about my day. He decided to end the conversation by shitting on the floor. FML

#17298828
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24233) - you deserved it (4384)

On 07/29/2011 at 3:17pm - animals - by Username - United States (South Carolina)

Today, some ballbag broke into my house just to take my broom. FML

#17278350
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21354) - you deserved it (2048)

On 07/27/2011 at 9:50am - misc - by kelsjenks - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I ran out of gas while driving, and had to call a tow truck. I drive a tow truck. FML

#17259665
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12240) - you deserved it (18616)

On 07/25/2011 at 10:03pm - misc - by j - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I asked the girl I like to send me 'yummy pictures.' I got a picture of cheesecake. FML

#17213168
366 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8457) - you deserved it (71705)

On 07/22/2011 at 2:29am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)



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