About itsalanis : I'm Alan. Some people like to nickname me Alanis instead.
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You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
itsalanis's favorite FMLs
by OhDeary / 08/01/2011 at 4:18pm / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 07/29/2011 at 10:10pm / United States (Missouri) / Kids
Today, I realized that since I started working full time, the only friend I have left is my cat. Lonely and bored out of my mind, I told him about my day. He decided to end the conversation by shitting on the floor. FML
by Username / 07/29/2011 at 3:17pm / United States (South Carolina) / Animals
Today, I was browsing the web when I checked the search history. Turns out my son has been searching for "nude grills" and "hot grills." Not only is my 12-year-old son attempting to find porn on the internet, he also can't spell. FML
by Nickname / 07/27/2011 at 10:02pm / United States (Kansas) / Intimacy
by kelsjenks / 07/27/2011 at 9:50am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous
Today, the only thing that managed to get me out of bed was scrambling to watch my neighbours have a screaming match in the middle of our street about which one of their brain-dead kids spray-painted "CUNT FLAPS" and a rudimentary knob on the communal garage door. FML
by Anonymous / 07/26/2011 at 10:05am / United Kingdom / Health
by j / 07/25/2011 at 10:03pm / Canada (Ontario) / Transportation
by Anonymous / 07/22/2011 at 2:29am / United States (Texas) / Love
by Username / 07/15/2011 at 3:51pm / United States / Health
by Joe / 07/08/2011 at 2:48pm / United States / Intimacy
by Kate / 07/04/2011 at 3:06pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
Today, my son called me from medical school, asking for a new phone. Why? Because he dropped it in the toilet. How? Trying to videotape his anus while taking a dump. I pay $80,000 a year just to hear he took a dump on his phone. FML
by WasteOMoney / 07/03/2011 at 9:50pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
by ashleyrae / 06/29/2011 at 10:55am / United States (Mississippi) / Miscellaneous
Today, in science, we were studying reproduction. Our teacher was reading out the notes and claimed that 'the female's penis stiffens to enter the male's vagina.' I'm supposed to be learning stuff from this woman. FML
by girlshavepenises / 06/28/2011 at 2:39am / New Zealand (Auckland) / Intimacy
by suxx / 06/25/2011 at 4:39am / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy