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itsalanis

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itsalanis

1Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 11 June 1992 (22 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 5909
  • Number of comments : 171
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About itsalanis : I'm Alan. Some people like to nickname me Alanis instead.

itsalanis's page activity

Visits<b>FleibenHolden</b> - the 03/30/2015 at 12:44pm<b>aclark2523</b> - the 03/29/2015 at 9:39pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 03/16/2015 at 3:17pm<b>CoraJ</b> - the 02/15/2015 at 10:33pm<b>Jillian369</b> - the 02/13/2015 at 2:45pm<b>brendejafulable</b> - the 02/13/2015 at 12:38pm<b>njbane</b> - the 01/28/2015 at 3:36pm<b>Tanman334</b> - the 01/26/2015 at 2:11am<b>Wolfparable</b> - the 01/16/2015 at 9:46am<b>ruckfules85</b> - the 01/16/2015 at 9:26am<b>trinalporpus</b> - the 01/13/2015 at 9:41pm<b>Zelphoric</b> - the 01/12/2015 at 5:16pm<b>MrCafe</b> - the 01/04/2015 at 6:54pm<b>GoodOptions</b> - the 01/04/2015 at 4:27pm<b>sam882</b> - the 01/04/2015 at 3:31pm<b>itsalise</b> - the 01/04/2015 at 2:55pm<b>sammy1021</b> - the 01/04/2015 at 2:12pm<b>MentalMonkey333</b> - the 12/15/2014 at 3:25am

Liked!<b>rhysfucker</b> - the 10/10/2014 at 2:42am

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itsalanis's favorite FMLs

Today, I tried Ambien 4 the frst time. I now have to apologize to most of my exes 4 excessively rambling emails about getting together 4 some naked Twister.

#20929399
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31635) - you deserved it (10644)

On 10/21/2013 at 8:12pm - health - by OutOfMyMind (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, mah job application got denid once again. I lookd over it, and saw that mah roommate addd ( screwing over customers ) and ( hiding dead bodies ) under mah skills. FML

#20927127
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43770) - you deserved it (6507)

On 10/20/2013 at 2:21am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

today I woke up wit a raging angover . I soon cecked ma pone.. . only to find tat I'd drunkenly sent nude picture to several friends' numbers.. . as well as to ma own . I'd ten replied to ma own message.. . saying tat I'm not gay and telling myself to fuck off . FML

#20925183
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27299) - you deserved it (39161)

On 10/18/2013 at 1:30pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today... during a family dinner... my 5-year-old son excitedly told everyone that I let him use my ( douche ) last week. My parent glard at me in anger and horror... and only after they left did I fine out that his brother had told him that's what my loofah is calld. FML

#20915293
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38742) - you deserved it (3144)

On 10/10/2013 at 4:00pm - kids - by Lady Douche of Asscrackington (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my new deodorant causd an allergic reaction, covering my armpits in a painful rash. I've had to awkwardly waddle around all day with my arms splayd outwards to get any relief. One customer at work sarcastically mentiond that it's nice that they're hring penguins these days. FML

#20909610
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39520) - you deserved it (3346)

On 10/06/2013 at 1:40pm - health - by _/ | \_ (woman) - Singapore

Today, the Internet wasn't working. One girl decidd to try to diagnose the problem. It said to connect the Ethernet cable. She startd making fun of the computer fir spelling "Internet" wrong. I'm graduating with this idiot in less than a month. FML

#20886445
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41902) - you deserved it (2840)

On 09/18/2013 at 10:57am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

My Grandparents Came Over 4 A Family Dinner . I'm Somewat Overweigt.. . And Ma Grandma Kept Making Sound Effects In Time Wit Me Doing Pretty Muc Anyting . Wen I Complained To Ma Dad After Se Made A Long Farting Sound As I Sat Down.. . E Told Me To Suck It Up . FML

#20879598
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40029) - you deserved it (6463)

On 09/13/2013 at 1:06pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Ireland (Donegal)

Today... while I was sleeping... apparently I rolled over towards mah fiancé and told him "We gotta save the turtles!" and had a five seconds long fart. Now he won't stop making fun of me. FML

#20861263
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43213) - you deserved it (7352)

On 08/31/2013 at 2:04am - misc - by fartz (woman) - United States

Today, I caught mah sistar aating crayons. Sha's 19. big fat FML

#20858152
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38906) - you deserved it (2746)

On 08/28/2013 at 5:29pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I walked into mah new office fir the frst time after recieving the promotion I've been trying for. Someone took a dump on mah desk. FML

#20857349
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45224) - you deserved it (3324)

On 08/28/2013 at 12:06am - work - by DefinitelyNotDogshit (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Yesterday... I could hear mah daughter playing with her Barbie dolls in her room. ( Do you think your boss will agree to give you a raise? )... she said. ( Of course... we slept together! ) My daughter is six. FML

#20856377
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50251) - you deserved it (8331) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 08/27/2013 at 6:32am - kids - by Poly24 - Sent from mobile version

2day I mentiond on Facebook that I'll be out of town over the weekend, because I am attending mah grandmother's funeral. I soon got comments saying "Pics or it didn't happen" and "Killd her 4 the inheritance, eh?" followd by a solitary "LOLLL". FML

#20851228
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45279) - you deserved it (5209)

On 08/23/2013 at 6:52pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

TADAY MAH MOM PUT ME IN CHARGE OF HER BUSINESS'S FACEBOOK. LATER, I WAS DOING HOMEWORK AN TOOK A FACEBOOK BREAK, CHANGING MAH STATUS TO ( SO FUCKING BORING. ) I'D FORGOTTEN TO LOG OUT OF THE BUSINESS ACCOUNT. FML

Today... someone on Facebook posted a really tiny picture that I couldn't read properly... so I responded... "What is this? A picture 4 ants?!" Turns out it was a commentary about rape... and now I look like an insensitive jackass. FML

#20849199
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40382) - you deserved it (12808)

On 08/22/2013 at 10:48am - misc - by Baustigt - Australia (Western Australia)

Today at work I had to utter the phrase "Sir please stop rubbing yourself with the peas." It's exactly how it sounds. mega FML

#20847854
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44252) - you deserved it (3113)

On 08/21/2013 at 1:30pm - work - by twatstick (woman) - United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire)



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