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itsalanis

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itsalanis

1Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 11 June 1992 (22 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 5888
  • Number of comments : 171
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About itsalanis : I'm Alan. Some people like to nickname me Alanis instead.

itsalanis's page activity

Visits<b>FleibenHolden</b> - 11 hours ago<b>aclark2523</b> - yesterday at 9:39pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 03/16/2015 at 3:17pm<b>CoraJ</b> - the 02/15/2015 at 10:33pm<b>Jillian369</b> - the 02/13/2015 at 2:45pm<b>brendejafulable</b> - the 02/13/2015 at 12:38pm<b>njbane</b> - the 01/28/2015 at 3:36pm<b>Tanman334</b> - the 01/26/2015 at 2:11am<b>Wolfparable</b> - the 01/16/2015 at 9:46am<b>ruckfules85</b> - the 01/16/2015 at 9:26am<b>trinalporpus</b> - the 01/13/2015 at 9:41pm<b>Zelphoric</b> - the 01/12/2015 at 5:16pm<b>MrCafe</b> - the 01/04/2015 at 6:54pm<b>GoodOptions</b> - the 01/04/2015 at 4:27pm<b>sam882</b> - the 01/04/2015 at 3:31pm<b>itsalise</b> - the 01/04/2015 at 2:55pm<b>sammy1021</b> - the 01/04/2015 at 2:12pm<b>MentalMonkey333</b> - the 12/15/2014 at 3:25am

Liked!<b>rhysfucker</b> - the 10/10/2014 at 2:42am

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itsalanis's favorite FMLs

Today, I watched Gigli. FML

#19259305
266 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8232) - you deserved it (26333)

On 03/11/2012 at 7:19pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, in the locker room at work, someone tried writing "douche bag" on my locker, and misspelled it four times before apparently giving up. FML

#19255450
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21725) - you deserved it (1844)

On 03/11/2012 at 1:39am - work - by The Last One (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend and I decided it was time to lose our virginity. After our clothes were removed, we spent 30 minutes trying to figure out how to actually have sex, and eventually gave up. FML

#19249528
600 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24357) - you deserved it (54746)

On 03/10/2012 at 2:23am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, while I was on the floor stocking a bottom shelf, a man walked up behind me and humped the back of my head. He ran away laughing. This kind of shit happens all the time. I hate my job. FML

#19218186
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29376) - you deserved it (2653)

On 03/05/2012 at 12:12am - work - by cero_kewl - United States

Today, I downloaded an application that notifies me when my phone is fully charged. I had no idea how it actually functions, but I plugged the charger in and went to bed. A couple of hours later, I woke up to a man's voice screaming, "I can't take it anymore!" I nearly wet myself. FML

#19207930
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30238) - you deserved it (9472)

On 03/03/2012 at 8:55am - misc - by scaredshitless (woman) - Finland (Southern Finland)

Today, I had a dream about the damn cappuccino machine at work. FML

#19170840
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18858) - you deserved it (3406)

On 02/26/2012 at 9:43pm - misc - by slickrick22 (man) - United States

Today, I was posing in front of the mirror, when I realized that everyone who looks at me can easily tell which arm I use to masturbate. FML

#19154069
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9438) - you deserved it (32763)

On 02/24/2012 at 2:18pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I got scared by my own leg fat. FML

#19144549
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9174) - you deserved it (28524)

On 02/23/2012 at 6:29am - misc - by wobble... - Australia

Today, I discovered how startling it is to wake up by having your cat springboard off your face. The intended prey? Two fornicating geckos on the ceiling. FML

Today, Target asked me if I would do the closing announcement. I've only been working there a little while, so excited I agreed. I told people, "The store is now closing, thank you for shopping at Walmart." FML

#19088946
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15849) - you deserved it (29247)

On 02/15/2012 at 9:03pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I fought back with words against a bully. He cried, and I got detention. FML

#19085871
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36043) - you deserved it (2571)

On 02/15/2012 at 2:26pm - misc - by sharpie2792 - United States

Today, I walked out onto the driveway to find my mom standing on the wet pavement, screaming at the worms that had come out after the rain, saying that they were "on private property" and that they were "trespassing." All of our neighbors had come out of their houses to watch. FML

#19085397
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26541) - you deserved it (1963)

On 02/15/2012 at 12:47pm - misc - by jess (woman) - United States (Montana)

Today, my friend and I were playing Oregon Trail online. I googled "dysentery", and sent her an IM about the mind-blowing number of cartoons of people violently shitting everywhere. I accidentally sent it to my aunt. FML

#19048896
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6614) - you deserved it (19307)

On 02/11/2012 at 2:10pm - misc - by Gabby (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I sat in my boss' office as he bitched me out for being "too sarcastic" to our customers. After nearly half an hour of him criticizing my "piss-poor attitude," he asked me what I was going to do to fix it. Without thinking, I said, "Your mom." Now I'm jobless again. FML

#19042299
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8791) - you deserved it (66338)

On 02/10/2012 at 4:33pm - work - by great - United States

Today, I caught my boyfriend trying on my bra. He still has no excuse. FML

#19023542
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25237) - you deserved it (3730)

On 02/08/2012 at 12:04am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) -



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