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itsalanis

Offline (14 hours ago) | Search for a member

itsalanis

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 12 June 1992 (23 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 7001
  • Number of comments : 182
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About itsalanis : I'm Alan. Some people like to nickname me Alanis instead.

itsalanis's page activity

Visits<b>moondoggie</b> - the 07/28/2015 at 11:54pm<b>sma30135</b> - the 07/28/2015 at 2:06am<b>Atheepic</b> - the 07/27/2015 at 4:30pm<b>wil1029</b> - the 07/27/2015 at 1:22pm<b>leeleeamber</b> - the 07/08/2015 at 3:46am<b>BunchieRules</b> - the 07/07/2015 at 9:53pm<b>jbizzle1987</b> - the 07/07/2015 at 9:01pm<b>SecretSociety7</b> - the 07/07/2015 at 12:54am<b>burnsky</b> - the 07/06/2015 at 11:00pm<b>MagicFez</b> - the 07/06/2015 at 10:15pm<b>monzu</b> - the 07/06/2015 at 7:36pm<b>Bloodknight</b> - the 07/06/2015 at 7:13pm<b>xman98</b> - the 07/06/2015 at 5:15pm<b>amine91</b> - the 07/06/2015 at 4:09pm<b>TheCookieComet</b> - the 07/06/2015 at 3:00pm<b>Lct1196</b> - the 07/06/2015 at 2:27pm<b>jacob_coryell98</b> - the 07/06/2015 at 2:18pm<b>victorsaurus01</b> - the 07/06/2015 at 2:17pm

Fucked!<b>martin8337</b> - the 06/15/2015 at 6:28am<b>rhysfucker</b> - the 10/10/2014 at 2:42am

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itsalanis's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to call a plumber out, because my idiot daughter clogged the pipes while trying to flush a hamburger down the toilet. FML

#21142903
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39754) - you deserved it (6531)

On 05/17/2014 at 1:30pm - misc - by her mom raised her (man) - Mexico

Today, trying to be nice, I added this really shy kid from my English class on Facebook. Within minutes, he started going through all my pictures and tagging himself as my breasts. FML

#21142867
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48014) - you deserved it (9324)

On 05/17/2014 at 12:54pm - misc - by creepyyy (woman) - United States

Today, I once again had another guy's sweaty crotch pushed into my face. I still don't see why I enjoy wrestling. FML

Today, my in-laws moved in. FML

#21107985
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63586) - you deserved it (5856)

On 04/08/2014 at 9:42pm - misc - by Great (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my students all handed in their 1,000 word papers. The assignment was for them to write about a strong, benevolent leader who influenced the world. Around half of the papers were about Hitler. FML

#21102694
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40442) - you deserved it (9511)

On 04/02/2014 at 7:30am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was texting an artist friend telling her I wanted to buy her paintings; going on and on about how much I wanted it and loved the way they looked and couldn't wait to have them. I realized my phone had corrected paintings to panties. FML

#21091119
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38696) - you deserved it (5138)

On 03/19/2014 at 7:19pm - misc - by BigBlue (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was tanning nude in my backyard, when I took a picture of our dog lying in the grass and sent it to my dad. It was only after I looked at the picture indoors that I realized my nipple had made it into the picture too. FML

#21086753
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40804) - you deserved it (35224)

On 03/14/2014 at 7:23pm - intimacy - by why - United States (California)

Today, I met my mom's new business partner for the first time. I shook his hand, and introduced myself as "Lisa's daughter". I'm a guy. FML

#21085066
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34630) - you deserved it (11820)

On 03/12/2014 at 6:23pm - work - by CurtisWogan (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my pregnant wife's parents called me at work, saying she'd been crying inconsolably and wouldn't say what was wrong. After pleading with my boss, I rushed home. Turns out there was an "ugly" sofa in a TV ad and she felt it was "picking on ugly sofas". FML

#21070396
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45930) - you deserved it (4332)

On 02/24/2014 at 2:36pm - misc - by fuckmeitsgettingworse - United Kingdom (Derby)

Today, my boyfriend told me that sometimes my nipples taste like onions. FML

#21012735
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47671) - you deserved it (9684)

On 01/01/2014 at 8:26am - intimacy - by Snufflopagus (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was watching ESPN. My boyfriend came in, bitched about "boring tv," so I handed him the remote. He put on a Lifetime movie. I must be the only woman in America with this problem. FML

#21010622
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49068) - you deserved it (4991)

On 12/30/2013 at 4:38pm - love - by smokecloud_ (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my dad thought it would be funny to wake me up by sprinkling catnip over me then dropping my cat on top of me. FML

#21007541
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38476) - you deserved it (3514)

On 12/27/2013 at 7:05pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - New Zealand (Canterbury)

Today, while at the gym, I noticed a creepy-looking guy watching me. When I got up from the equipment, I noticed that he sniffed the seat. I didn't say anything the first time. After he did it the second time, I asked him to stop. He bent down and sniffed it without breaking eye contact. FML

#20996147
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47517) - you deserved it (3507)

On 12/17/2013 at 6:48pm - misc - by gymgirl - United States (Texas)

Today, a kid from my school called me, saying he's going on vacation to Japan soon and that since I was born there, I could teach him the language. His exact words at the start of the call were: "Hey man, you speak Asian, right?" I have to be around this shithead 5 days a week. FML

#20992530
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45045) - you deserved it (3709)

On 12/14/2013 at 5:39pm - misc - by bnc (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my girlfriend tried explaining a duck flying into our living room and taking a shit everywhere as "paranormal activity". FML

#20963751
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37572) - you deserved it (3338)

On 11/19/2013 at 8:09pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)



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