Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

insomniac_855

Search for a member

insomniac_855

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1168
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

insomniac_855's page activity

Visits<b>Whatever80</b> - the 03/25/2010 at 7:53am<b>unipetrel</b> - the 09/20/2009 at 12:12pm<b>prplr</b> - the 08/16/2009 at 3:23pm<b>depinaariana</b> - the 06/29/2009 at 11:20am<b>StudBoiAyeEm</b> - the 06/15/2009 at 2:23pm<b>bradley5055</b> - the 05/18/2009 at 2:42am

insomniac_855's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

insomniac_855's favorite FMLs

Today, I listened to my voice mail messages for the first time in months. One was from my Grandma that must have been meant for Gramps. I think I know now why my mother has so many siblings. FML

#5502939
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19682) - you deserved it (1652)

On 09/27/2009 at 8:52am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, my boyfriend came in my room dressed as Harry Potter and declared that he was going to put his basilisk into my chamber of secrets. And yes, that was my first time. FML

#5168083
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32840) - you deserved it (7364)

On 09/10/2009 at 1:18pm - intimacy - by ginny (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I realized that the shorts I have been wearing all day say "Juicy" on the ass. My name is John. FML

#5136850
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12541) - you deserved it (48201)

On 09/08/2009 at 9:33pm - misc - by JuicyJohn (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I took a look at my boyfriend's videocamera. On it were several videos of me on the toilet. My boyfriend has been hiding the videocamera in the bathroom airvent, and taping me taking dumps for the past three months. FML

#5097909
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70330) - you deserved it (4211)

On 09/07/2009 at 2:05am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I got my first tattoo. It's a large broadsword which runs the length of my spine. I went home to show it off and learned that the hilt on my neck looks just like a penis when the rest of it is covered with my shirt. FML

#4803927
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14027) - you deserved it (58060)

On 08/25/2009 at 2:44am - misc - by damnit (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I found out my husband had bought my 1-year-old daughter a shirt that says "Birth Control Fail" in pink glittery letters. He even took her out in it while I was at work. FML

#4525246
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59665) - you deserved it (7145)

On 08/14/2009 at 12:57pm - kids - by ohgod (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I bought a freezer mug that looks like it's full of water. I've been playing tricks on my friends by throwing the empty cup at them. After doing this a few dozen times, my 83 year-old mother came to visit. I played the same trick on her. The joke's on me. My Dad filled the cup. FML

#4495233
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8218) - you deserved it (60991)

On 08/13/2009 at 3:27am - misc - by oldtexas (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, I found out that I was adopted, now my gay brother thinks it's acceptable to tell me that he's always wanted to have sex with me. FML

#4488799
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (97633) - you deserved it (4794)

On 08/12/2009 at 11:13pm - intimacy - by JPF (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was putting on my new pair of jeans, when my girlfriend walked in. She found the "XS" size sticker on the side of my pants, held it for a little while then put it on my crotch. She then looked at me, gave a little shrug and half-smile and walked away. FML

#4270687
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44535) - you deserved it (7040)

On 08/04/2009 at 12:15am - love - by just_a_bit_akwRd (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I finally decided to tell my mother, a former Miss North Carolina winner, that I was several weeks pregnant. She immediately burst into tears and hugged me. She kept saying, "Thank god, thank god." At first I was relieved. Then she said, "I thought you were just getting fat." FML

#4244213
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46457) - you deserved it (4230)

On 08/03/2009 at 12:11am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my 250 lb ex-Marine dad announced he was going to start randomly punching me in the crotch, without warning, to "improve my reflexes." FML

#4235904
278 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63147) - you deserved it (5112)

On 08/02/2009 at 6:45pm - health - by theregoesmyspermcount (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I told my boyfriend I was really horny. He then gave me the link to his favorite "porn". He said I should do it for him. It was a youtube video of some girl making a sandwich. FML

#4070299
0 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52056) - you deserved it (14207)

On 07/27/2009 at 1:06am - intimacy - by fmysexlife (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I discovered my 18 year old son has been peeing on the carpet when he is too lazy to get out of bed in the morning and blaming it on the cat. FML

#3998492
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70399) - you deserved it (7020)

On 07/24/2009 at 3:04am - kids - by tony (man) - United States (California)



FML's blog

  • FML's Labor Day BBQ
  • The first Monday of September is a holiday in some countries, and is supposed to celebrate Labor Day. So, this means you do nothing to celebrate doing something. I'm confused.  For those of us who…

Monday 1 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: