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indian937

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indian937
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  • Number of visits : 595
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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indian937's favorite FMLs

Today, my students all handed in their 1,000 word papers. The assignment was for them to write about a strong, benevolent leader who influenced the world. Around half of the papers were about Hitler. FML

#21102694
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37880) - you deserved it (8631)

On 04/02/2014 at 7:30am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, for our 25th anniversary, my husband and I had dinner on a cruise ship, a dinner we had been planning for months. Upon boarding, I realized the expensive dress that I had bought just for the occasion had exactly the same print as the chair covers and the carpet. The cruise lasted 8 hours. FML

#21102655
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37698) - you deserved it (5261)

On 04/02/2014 at 4:13am - misc - by Why (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I have pink eye. Four weeks ago I had scabies. I'm an elementary school teacher, and I'm apparently under attack from biological weapons: my students. FML

#21102371
93 comments

Today, I resorted to the oldest prank in the book: laxatives in the food. Except it wasn't for a prank, but just a desperate attempt to get my clingy boyfriend to leave me the hell alone. I think I'm going to hell. FML

#21101967
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35359) - you deserved it (9452)

On 04/01/2014 at 3:21pm - love - by someone (woman) - United States (West Virginia)

Today, my husband and I had some bath time to ourselves. After having sex, he decided to put bath salts in my vagina to spice things up for the next round. It's been twenty minutes out of the bath and it still feels like there are pop rocks in my vagina. FML

#21101391
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36222) - you deserved it (27290)

On 03/31/2014 at 10:08pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my dad got me one of those word locks for my gym locker, for which the password had to be a four-letter word instead of numbers. My dad chose the combo for me. It was "diet". FML

#21101196
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33529) - you deserved it (4733)

On 03/31/2014 at 6:10pm - health - by anon (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I went on a first date with a guy I met online. Not only was he boring, he twice excused himself to go to the bathroom and both times he came back smelling of weed. FML

#21101191
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35907) - you deserved it (5335)

On 03/31/2014 at 6:05pm - love - by Jaime - United States (New York)

Today, my Game of Thrones addicted girlfriend decided to name my penis Tyrion Lannister. FML

#21101155
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34607) - you deserved it (5283)

On 03/31/2014 at 5:03pm - intimacy - by off to the whorehouse, then (man) - United Kingdom (Brighton and Hove)

Today, while on patrol with my partner, we came across a guy getting a beat-down on the sidewalk. After restraining the attacker, we helped the victim to his feet, only for him to spit at us and call us "goddamn pigs". You're welcome, sir. FML

#21101111
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38843) - you deserved it (3552)

On 03/31/2014 at 4:07pm - work - by dunno why we bother (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, as I walked out the door to head to class, my neighbour's kid threw a balloon at me, filled with some kind of foul-smelling liquid that he calls "liquid ass". I had a presentation 20 minutes later and couldn't get the smell off myself in time. FML

#21100982
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34195) - you deserved it (2256)

On 03/31/2014 at 1:15pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Japan (Hyogo)

Today, I was assigned to be the one to teach Grandpa how to use his new smartphone. An hour in, and we're still going over volume controls. FML

#21100846
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37196) - you deserved it (3404)

On 03/31/2014 at 8:24am - misc - by phantomthelabrat - United States (North Dakota)

Today, I was at a wedding reception with loud music. A guy told me that his sister couldn't be there because she "went home to be with her boy." I said, "That's too bad, she's missing a great party." He paused and repeated, "She went home to be with her LORD." FML

#21100696
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31613) - you deserved it (3839)

On 03/31/2014 at 12:43am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my mom stopped playing badminton with me because she claimed I was too aggressive. Apparently winning, playing by the rules, and smashing is considered aggressive. FML

#21100568
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28469) - you deserved it (6701)

On 03/30/2014 at 10:44pm - misc - by moms a baby - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend made me sit in his kitchen while he Skyped his mother because he doesn't "feel ready" to tell her he has a girlfriend. He's 23, lives on a different continent and has been dating me for over 6 months. FML

Today, I took my 12 year-old to the orthodontist. While I was talking to the dentist about what was needing to be done, my daughter listened. With a straight face, the dentist joked, "Yeah, we're going to need to rip off her entire jaw." My daughter won't leave her room anymore. FML

#21098025
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36252) - you deserved it (4235)

On 03/27/2014 at 8:09pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

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  • Bénédicte's Illustrated FML
  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

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