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indian937's page activity

Visits<b>Shadowvoid</b> - the 03/13/2013 at 9:43pm

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indian937's favorite FMLs

Today, as I was waiting in line to give my mom her birthday present, my dad gave her the exact same gift I'd also bought for her. FML

by sadSarah / 05/01/2014 at 5:59am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, the family in the apartment next to me decided to give their 4-year-old kid a recorder. It's been three hours. Kill me. FML

by pleasestop / 04/30/2014 at 10:13pm / New Zealand (Wellington) / Kids

Today, I was waiting on a Canadian tourist at work, and he bought some of the most expensive stuff on the menu. I was excited about maybe getting a big tip, so I casually said that in the USA, waiters make most of our money off tips. The guy just snorted, "Sucks to be American, eh?!" and left. FML

by yes, yes it does :( / 04/30/2014 at 5:11pm / United States / Work

Today, I was hanging out with my friends, and we got the idea to do some improv comedy together for a laugh. Barely two minutes into our fake political debate, everyone had apparently forgotten it was all a joke. Raging ensued, and a vicious fight quickly followed. FML

by idiotfucks / 04/30/2014 at 4:56pm / New Zealand (Canterbury) / Health

Today, I decided to face one of my fears. I've never had a birthday party, out of fear that nobody would come. I sent out a mass text inviting people out for my birthday, trying to sound casual. The only replies I received were along the lines of "Who the hell's this?" FML

by Anonymous / 04/30/2014 at 10:52am / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend of three years. I worked my ass off planning everything down to a T. It seemed perfect, until I actually proposed, at which point I was rejected and dumped, in front of my family, friends and two coworkers. FML

by willstaysingle / 04/29/2014 at 10:18am / Love

Today, I finally worked up the guts to add the guy I like on Facebook. To make it less obvious, I added 15 other people as well. Everyone added me back, except him. FML

by lonely_island / 04/28/2014 at 5:27pm / Canada (Alberta) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my escape artist of a dog got out. She not only chased someone else's cat into someone else's house, but promptly defecated all over their living room floor out of excitement. That's one way to meet the new neighbors. FML

by Cat vs. Dog / 04/28/2014 at 5:03pm / United States (Wyoming) / Animals

Today, my long-distance boyfriend got extremely drunk and insisted that we ran the Skype call all night so it was like I was there with him. I woke up to the sound of him vomiting loudly at 3am. FML

by Amy (grossed out) / 04/27/2014 at 9:43am / Australia (South Australia) / Love

Today, I had to take an urgent dump at work. I noticed too late there was no toilet paper left, so I had to risk doing a quick "pants around the knees" shuffle to the next stall. I locked eyes with the window cleaner at the same time I heard someone enter from behind me. FML

by caught out / 04/26/2014 at 7:29pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Work

Today, I got my car cleaned. As I drove home, the passenger of the van in front of me vomited out the window. The vomit sailed back and splattered all over the front of my car. A waste of £10 and a mental image that will never go away. FML

by Anonymous / 04/24/2014 at 11:35am / United Kingdom (Angus) / Miscellaneous

Today, on a train, I nearly choked while sleeping with my mouth wide open. The little old lady sitting opposite me was entertaining herself by throwing little pieces of balled-up tin foil into my mouth. FML

by Anonyme / 04/24/2014 at 2:57am / France (Provence-Alpes-Cote d'Azur) / Transportation

Today, my 808 area code phone number has yet again been mistaken for a 1-800 number. I've been getting phone calls at three in the morning from people on the east coast who are trying to return their shoes. They want to speak to my supervisor because I "don't sound professional enough." FML

by orangemango / 04/22/2014 at 2:18am / United States (Hawaii) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, after years of marriage and my lazy husband letting himself go, I can now finish a bottle of wine and still be sober. This means I've built immunity to the last thing that can make me want to have sex with him. FML

by Anonymous / 04/21/2014 at 11:00pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend's parents' parrot won't stop imitating my sex moans, and keeps doing it whenever I speak. FML

by sexual parrot / 04/21/2014 at 2:42pm / Intimacy