Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Offline (5 hours ago) | Search for a member
About ilovesarcasm : 36, Pagan Witch, married, two cats. Super Freak. Cannot stand bad grammar, poor diction, nor outright idiocy. It doesn't mean I'll comment on it though. Natural selection will prevail, be patient young ones. I like artichokes. Sarcastic as hell, thus my username. Most of the time I'm kidding... MOST of the time... I have no filter and a horribly indecent sense of humor. I like to read. Movie dork. Old school Rock and Roll lover. It's okay to message me, but I bite and it'll take me awhile to get back to you. I like peanut butter. Meow.
I like your style
You've liked someone. How cute!
Checking you out
You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.
You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.
Today, as a recruiter, I had an interview with a promising candidate for an open position at my company. The interview was going well until the candidate interrupted me halfway through to take a selfie. FML
Today, some alarm, somewhere in my house, is making a low battery noise. I've checked every smoke detector multiple times, and I can't find it. It has been hours. I'm not sure if its still doing it or if the sound has just invaded my brain. FML
Today, at a restaurant, I happily watched as my boyfriend of three years got down on his knees and proposed to me. Before I could say yes and hug him, a girl flung herself at him, kissed him and shouted, "Yes!" With us still highly confused, she then ran away. FML
Today, I downloaded an application that notifies me when my phone is fully charged. I had no idea how it actually functions, but I plugged the charger in and went to bed. A couple of hours later, I woke up to a man's voice screaming, "I can't take it anymore!" I nearly wet myself. FML
Tuesday 3 March 2015