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Beginner
You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.
Consolation prize
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
It’s in the can
Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!
Today, I was pondering the meaning of life - why I'm here, why anyone is here, why go on, and whether it's worth it... Then it hit me. The football in the head, not the meaning of life. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6564) - you deserved it (13619)
On 01/23/2010 at 9:14pm - misc - by ceedee - United States (California)
Today, one of my employees lit my tie on fire. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17580) - you deserved it (4065)
On 01/19/2010 at 12:00am - work - by mcdman (man) - United States (Tennessee)
Today, I was sent to the hospital for being knocked out with a potato. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20111) - you deserved it (2568)
On 01/11/2010 at 10:40pm - health - by brileyyyy - United States (Missouri)
Today, my pet hedgehog thought it would be funny to roll around in the kitty litter. It was like washing a poopy cactus. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18363) - you deserved it (2891)
On 01/08/2010 at 1:23am - misc - by StinkyCactus (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I realized the odd smell I've been trying to get out of the house is coming from me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4920) - you deserved it (18352)
On 01/01/2010 at 1:07am - misc - by _akwardsituation (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I discovered that my bed has a flea infestation. I discovered it after sleeping naked in it for about an hour. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17431) - you deserved it (3800)
On 12/22/2009 at 1:02pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I got a birthday card in the mail from my aunt. I got all excited when I saw a cheque inside, but the cheque was addressed to the wrong name. Not only did my own aunt forget my name, I couldn't even bank the $60. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16930) - you deserved it (1448)
On 12/04/2009 at 5:35am - money - by anon - Australia (Queensland)
Today, I was putting my contacts in when my daughter decided to jump on me from behind to scare me, causing me to poke myself in the eye. I'm now wearing an eye patch due to a scratched cornea while my daughter is singing some song titled "You are a pirate". FML
I agree, your life sucks (22404) - you deserved it (1865)
On 11/13/2009 at 5:06am - kids - by dessaye (man) - Singapore
Today, I woke up to see my cat crawling out my window onto the roof. Afraid he was going to jump to the ground, I crawled out my window as well. I caught him. The neighbors caught me in my underwear and bra yelling at my cat on the roof. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8178) - you deserved it (13323)
On 10/12/2009 at 9:44pm - animals - by catgirl911 (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I had to pretend to give birth in a play. I wanted to make it a realistic as possible but ended up crapping myself on stage by accident. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42599) - you deserved it (19144)
On 10/11/2009 at 11:42am - misc - by oxjessiiox (woman) - United Kingdom (Leicestershire)
Today, I invited over 30 people to come to the park with me since the day was nice and cool. I sat there for three hours by myself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25220) - you deserved it (3088)
On 10/01/2009 at 1:38am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I was walking my dogs. I had a doggy bag, and was holding it closed, then breathing in it, so it would blow up. My dogs 'went', so I picked it up and kept walking. As I was heading home, I absent-mindedly started blowing into the bag again. Everything ended up in my mouth and on my face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7261) - you deserved it (53620)
On 09/24/2009 at 1:17am - animals - by doggybag (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I had to cover for my coworker who didn't turn up for work. He is always late for work and I was pissed off about having to cover for him again so I said to my colleagues "He better be either in hospital or dead." Turns out he was dead. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30643) - you deserved it (9140)
On 09/21/2009 at 10:06pm - work - by mcdeez (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)
Today, during foreplay, I was trying to be sexy. But instead I fell off the bed, landed in the laundry basket, and was attacked by the dog. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11812) - you deserved it (3288)
On 09/10/2009 at 2:18am - intimacy - by Loveless (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was working at a hospital-level rest home. I was making the rounds when I noticed a woman was sitting in her (electric) wheelchair in the middle of the hall. Going closer I saw her battery was flat so I said "Uh-oh! Looks like you've died." She bawled her eyes out and said "Not yet." FML
I agree, your life sucks (8999) - you deserved it (34429)
On 09/09/2009 at 5:58am - misc - by Anonymous - New Zealand (Otago)
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