ilikeapplejuice

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ilikeapplejuice

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2777
  • Number of comments : 65
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About ilikeapplejuice : Seventeen. And I love the Ramones :)
Dunno what else to say.

ilikeapplejuice's page activity

Visits<b>Adeptus_Astartes</b> - the 07/29/2015 at 7:33am<b>senor_octubre</b> - the 06/10/2015 at 9:22am<b>emily689</b> - the 01/24/2015 at 2:18am<b>swampbaby985</b> - the 12/02/2013 at 11:00am<b>musicninja539</b> - the 05/10/2013 at 1:38am<b>Marceline_17</b> - the 08/11/2012 at 5:24pm<b>chocomilkshake</b> - the 12/17/2011 at 9:15am<b>Mitas</b> - the 11/25/2011 at 12:32pm<b>nephilim241</b> - the 10/15/2011 at 7:04pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:18pm

ilikeapplejuice's FML badges

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

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ilikeapplejuice's favorite FMLs

Today, I learned how awful intertrigo smells. I spent a ton of money and years of my life to become a health care provider apparently to treat the yeast infection between an obese woman's fat folds. FML

by Sheliton / 01/17/2012 at 8:39pm / United States / Work

Today, I got a Facebook message from the school genius/nerd, who I have never talked to. He politely informed me that after much thought and deliberation, he has narrowed it down to who his ideal mate is. Me. FML

by geeklove / 01/15/2012 at 10:30pm / United States (North Carolina) / Geek

Today, this girl I liked made her Facebook status "Nobody texts me anymore, message me numbers?" I commented that I texted her. She deleted it and changed it to "Nobody that I care about texts me anymore, message me numbers?" FML

by Anonymous / 01/15/2012 at 1:24am / United States (California) / Love

Today, a guy took me to meet his parents on a second date. I stopped answering his calls afterwards, but he's just left me a voice-mail informing me that he's in love with me. I'm scared. FML

by Jessch15 / 01/13/2012 at 7:45am / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, after a hard day on the wards as a trainee doctor, I went home and started getting frisky with my girlfriend. All I could think about was the anatomical names for what I was touching and doing. I felt physically sick. FML

by doctorsandnurses / 01/13/2012 at 5:47am / United Kingdom (Nottingham) / Intimacy

Today, I went to the movies on a date. My chair made a fart sound while I moved around a little, so my date thought I'd let one rip. He then let out a really horrendously smelling one to make me feel less embarrassed, giving me a reassuring look. FML

by Whyme / 01/09/2012 at 1:14am / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, I asked a waiter at a restaurant if I could go in the kitchen to compliment the chef. She turned out to be really pretty, so trying to be cool, I leaned back onto what I thought was a table. It turned out to be a stove, and my shirt caught fire. FML

by Tiana / 01/08/2012 at 8:51pm / United States / Love

Today, I was bored and started touching myself watching TV. My mother walked into my bedroom with a phone in her hand and yelled, "Stop jacking off and talk to your grandmother." FML

by caught / 01/08/2012 at 7:43pm / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

Today, I was cooking with super hot ghost peppers. The package said "After handling them not to touch your eyes, nose or pets". They should've added "penis" to that list. FML

by Anonymous / 01/06/2012 at 9:22pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Health

Today, I got pulled over for a busted tail light. The officer gave me a warning and told me to fix it. Ten minutes later I was pulled over again for the same busted tail light by the same cop. This time he wrote me a ticket. FML

by Anonymous / 01/05/2012 at 11:06pm / United States (Arkansas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went jogging with my girlfriend. I'm pretty sure my moobs bounced more than her breasts. FML

by max / 01/03/2012 at 2:36pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, while I was in the break room at work, one of my coworkers walked in on me playing with my animal crackers, complete with animal noises. Now, the entire department won't stop teasing me and calling me Tarzan. FML

by Anonymous / 01/02/2012 at 3:55pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Work

Today, I received my first phone call of the new year. It was the police station informing me that my elderly grandmother has been arrested for indecent exposure. FML

by Grandson / 01/01/2012 at 8:51am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was going over to my friend's house for the first time. A creepy-looking old man answered, and smiled at me. I asked "Is this the right house? Does Isaac live here?" He replied "Yes, he's in the basement. Would you like a drink?" Right then, Isaac called and asked me where I was. FML

by Anonymous / 01/01/2012 at 2:34am / United States (Kansas) / Miscellaneous

Today, the last few seconds of my 2011 was spent staring at my drunk, naked uncle pouring olive oil over himself and rubbing it in. FML

by Scarred4Life / 01/01/2012 at 1:18am / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous