Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

ikurtz

Search for a member

ikurtz

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 23 March 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2894
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About ikurtz : twitter.com/ikurtz

ikurtz's page activity

Visits<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 11:14pm<b>katmandont</b> - the 03/29/2010 at 7:19pm<b>lizwriteslove</b> - the 05/29/2009 at 1:14pm<b>kbtoys</b> - the 05/10/2009 at 3:03pm

ikurtz's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

ikurtz's favorite FMLs

Today, I fell in a river with a £700 camera, a £200 lens, and an iPhone while trying to rescue a 50 pence ball for my dog. FML

#9069582
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14895) - you deserved it (27992)

On 03/14/2010 at 9:36am - money - by Rick (man) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, I realized that I'm so bored of my relationship with my girlfriend, I'd rather make sure I don't break the springs in my bed than make love to her. FML

#9068161
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7289) - you deserved it (19510)

On 03/14/2010 at 5:57am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Newcastle upon Tyne)

Today, I am lying next to my new husband. We went to Hawaii for our honeymoon and planned on spending the entire time in bed together. We succeeded in that goal, with both of us unable to leave each other's side for entire week. Sex? No. Food poisoning? Yes. FML

#6497491
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38187) - you deserved it (2775)

On 11/28/2009 at 5:03pm - health - by IndieRox (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I woke up and looked in the mirror and noticed that my face was covered in glitter. I asked my wife about it and she said she put it on me while I was sleeping so that I would sparkle like Edward from Twilight when I'm in the sunlight. FML

#6494130
299 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59806) - you deserved it (6390)

On 11/28/2009 at 12:32pm - love - by IB6UB9 - United States

Today, I had to look at my positive ebay feedback to feel loved. FML

#6491892
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30692) - you deserved it (5590)

On 11/28/2009 at 7:22am - love - by Anon. (woman) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, I invited my crush to come and spend thanksgiving dinner with me and my family, she agreed but asked me if she could bring her friend. Turns out her "friend" was actually her boyfriend and they drank all the expensive wine I bought. FML

#6485720
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27186) - you deserved it (7103)

On 11/27/2009 at 10:02pm - love - by lonelyguy (man) - Puerto Rico

Today, my mom tried to give me advice on how to improve my looks. I scoffed at her but listened to her advice anyway. She ended her tirade with, "I just want you to get laid someday." FML

#6480993
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19667) - you deserved it (2984)

On 11/27/2009 at 4:45pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Idaho)

Today, I went to my best friend's wedding. All my friends and their boyfriends were seated at one table, while I, as the only single girl in the group, was put on a table with all the other single people. They were all over forty years older than me. I feel like I have seen my future. FML

#6478242
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28844) - you deserved it (2650)

On 11/27/2009 at 1:16pm - love - by singlegirl (woman) - United Kingdom (Warwickshire)

Today, I got no happy birthday wishes from anyone. I decided to call my sister to see if she'd remembered. My 6-year-old niece answered, so I told her it was my birthday. She said that it's tomorrow. After ten minutes of arguing with a 6-year-old, I checked the calendar. It's tomorrow. FML

#6476260
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7083) - you deserved it (53450)

On 11/27/2009 at 9:26am - misc - by forgotmyownbirthday (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I wanted to take a nice hot relaxing bath. A wasp somehow got in, and stung me on the nuts. FML

#6471383
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34934) - you deserved it (4300)

On 11/26/2009 at 11:26pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I broke up with my girlfriend because I couldn't trust her after cheating on me with 3 guys. Our friends are sad about it so they're throwing her a pity party. Now I'm single and I have no friends. FML

#6441819
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34601) - you deserved it (3025)

On 11/25/2009 at 2:57am - love - by whatthewhat? - United States

Today, my roommate of seven weeks decided to kick me out. He blames me for the stains on his expensive white leather couch, even after a prof cleaner determined it was red wine. I don't drink red wine. He does. FML

#6441828
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26951) - you deserved it (1728)

On 11/25/2009 at 2:35am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Delaware)

Today, I went to drive my mom's car for a change. It wouldn't start, so I open the hood. Someone had stolen the battery. I go to start my own car so I can drive to the police station to report the theft, and discover someone siphoned off my gas. FML

#6439470
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25932) - you deserved it (1740)

On 11/24/2009 at 7:44pm - misc - by bummer (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I realized that our generation will be remembered as the kids who liked sparkly vampires. FML

#6439149
341 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70112) - you deserved it (12061)

On 11/24/2009 at 7:08pm - misc - by buhknee - United States (North Carolina)

Today, some girl punched me in the face and left a huge purple bruise. Apparently her boyfriend has been cheating on her with me because she always sees him walking me home. Her boyfriend is my older brother who didn't bother telling her who I was because "he wanted to see what she would do." FML

#6438315
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41654) - you deserved it (2259)

On 11/24/2009 at 5:47pm - misc - by DayamyWuzHere (woman) - United States



FML's blog

  • Krumla's Illustrated FML
  • It's Friday, so a bold font is required. I was sitting in my caravan by the side of busy road cooking cocktail sausages over a gas stove when I realised it was time to start writing something about this…

Friday 24 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: