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ihaveasushicat

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ihaveasushicat
  • Town/Country : US
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 309
  • Number of comments : 47
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About ihaveasushicat : >_>

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ihaveasushicat's favorite FMLs

Today, my parents and I attended the funeral of my husband's mother. It was open-casket, and my parents went to take a look. My mum muttered, "With a dress that tacky, no wonder she died", and my dad chuckled. A fight quickly erupted, and the police were called. FML

#21099545
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41859) - you deserved it (4340)

On 03/29/2014 at 5:31pm - misc - by disgusted (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I woke up, ate breakfast, and left my dorm room, only to see about half a dozen people and my roommate shuffling around in the hall. Their zombie outfits and limping were so realistic that I freaked out and ran back inside, screaming. They think it was the greatest prank ever. FML

#21093670
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36879) - you deserved it (9374)

On 03/22/2014 at 5:08pm - misc - by campus pussy (man) - United States (California)

Today, my mom decided to follow me during my driving test. She rear ended me. FML

#21092226
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40406) - you deserved it (2683)

On 03/20/2014 at 11:04pm - misc - by nehadrihan - United States (California)

Today, I was walking a dog at the animal hospital where I work when it pooped out a rag-like object. I told the doctor, who told me to clean it off to see what it was. It was a rainbow-colored thong. We have to give it back to the owner when they pick their dog up. FML

#21069925
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33839) - you deserved it (2445)

On 02/23/2014 at 11:01pm - animals - by crap - United States (Nevada)

Today, whilst getting out of the shower, I tripped on the lip of the siding, bruising my middle toe. I fell, and in doing so, squished my cat. She won't even make eye contact and keeps wheezing. I have a feeling she is plotting my death. FML

Today, I had an upset stomach all day at work. When lunch break came, I rushed to the bathroom. Just as I turned into an unstoppable human whoopie cushion, a co-worker walked in. He heard the entire arse symphony, and just asked "What the fuck, dude?!" as he left. FML

#21045407
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39280) - you deserved it (3992)

On 01/30/2014 at 5:46pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Lancashire)

Today, I was sitting on the couch, watching The Avengers with my 4-year-old daughter, who loves the Hulk. When Hulk finally showed up, she excitedly looked at me and screamed, "Hulk Smash" before slamming both of her fists into my balls. FML

#21044971
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47279) - you deserved it (5526)

On 01/30/2014 at 7:34am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I had a big final project due for class. None of my project partners would help me yesterday, because they were convinced we'd have a snow day. Unfortunately, we didn't have a snow day, and we failed. FML

#21035327
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38192) - you deserved it (6420)

On 01/21/2014 at 6:24pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I tried waxing for the first time. At first it felt like I'd dipped my balls in a furnace. Now I can't even feel them. FML

#21011655
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31419) - you deserved it (17826)

On 12/31/2013 at 2:36pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire)

Today, at work as a gynecologist, I called in my last patient of the day. As soon as I took a peek, I noticed that she had stuck googly-eyes above her vagina. She told me with a straight face not to be afraid, because "She doesn't bite." FML

#20582197
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43649) - you deserved it (4550)

On 04/09/2013 at 2:01pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I picked my 12-year-old daughter up from school after her first sexual education lecture. She burst into tears on the way home explaining her fears of being pregnant with her boyfriend's child. As if that doesn't sound bad enough, I've met her boyfriend before. He is imaginary. FML

#20575072
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37921) - you deserved it (3409)

On 04/04/2013 at 6:52pm - kids - by anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while on the bus, an elderly man fell asleep on my shoulder. He looked sweet, so I didn't push him off. A few minutes later, the bus jolted and his head slipped down into my breasts. I'm pretty sure you don't smile like that when you're really asleep. FML

#20574730
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35650) - you deserved it (6443)

On 04/04/2013 at 2:04pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Portugal (Lisboa)

Today, a girl punched me square in the face, effectively leaving it with purple swellings because I called her boyfriend an "uncle". Said boyfriend IS my uncle. FML

#20571521
122 comments


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