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iam808014

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iam808014
  • Town/Country : Canada
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 23 December 1992 (21 years)
  • Number of visits : 952
  • Number of comments : 28
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About iam808014 : I could write a lot of stuff here.But I'm not.

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iam808014's favorite FMLs

Today, I was smoking a cigarette while watching the meteor shower. I was just about at the filter and as I was taking my last drag, my friend decided to scare me from behind, and I accidentally sucked the whole thing in my mouth. They don't go out immediately when in your mouth. My tongue hurts. FML

#4495207
303 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19941) - you deserved it (48504)

On 08/13/2009 at 3:24am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was pulled over for speeding. I speak 4 languages and thought if I spoke French, the Officer would let me off with a warning thinking I was a tourist. Afterwards I turned to my wife and said "I can't believe that worked." He was a few feet away and heard. FML

#3838271
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9127) - you deserved it (90069)

On 07/17/2009 at 6:40pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was riding the subway to work. Barely anyone was on because of how early it was. Me and this one guy in a trench coat were in the same cart. His stop came. He walked by me, flashed me, rubbed his penis on my arm, and then ran away really fast. FML

#3268493
277 comments

I agree, your life sucks (118418) - you deserved it (8672)

On 06/27/2009 at 4:20am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Japan

Today, I saw myself in a 'girls gone wild' ad with another girl. So did my mom. FML

#2987164
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22836) - you deserved it (105467)

On 06/18/2009 at 3:17am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Connecticut)

Today, In my science class I sit next to my friend Jill. My teacher always gets our names confused calling me Jill and her Liz. She decided to combine our names. I'm now known as Jizz. My teacher clearly has no idea what it means. FML

#2831839
286 comments

I agree, your life sucks (130437) - you deserved it (8968)

On 06/12/2009 at 2:50pm - misc - by mcullen21 (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, In my science class I sit next to my friend Jill. My teacher always gets our names confused calling me Jill and her Liz. She decided to combine our names. I'm now known as Jizz. My teacher clearly has no idea what it means. FML

#2831839
286 comments

I agree, your life sucks (130437) - you deserved it (8968)

On 06/12/2009 at 2:50pm - misc - by mcullen21 (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was at the mall with my mom. She was pissing me off, so I started screaming at her and causing a scene. I ended up falling all the way down the up escalator. Everyone saw and people clapped. FML

#2804463
815 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27073) - you deserved it (278895)

On 06/11/2009 at 3:49pm - misc - by ouchers (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my family was preparing a turkey for my grandma's birthday dinner when my aunt noticed a utensil on the counter and asked what it was for. My mom said it was used to keep the turkey's legs together. My aunt responded to her by saying, "Maybe you should get one for your daughter." FML

#1690188
276 comments

I agree, your life sucks (90313) - you deserved it (19965)

On 05/06/2009 at 12:57pm - intimacy - by Familyskank (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I found out that the girl I've been dating online for over three months is actually a very bored 14-year-old boy. FML

#1617373
506 comments

I agree, your life sucks (81486) - you deserved it (222636)

On 05/04/2009 at 2:12am - love - by Iman (man) - United States (California)

Today, I took the bus to work. A sweet old lady got on after and sat next to me. Halfway there, she fell asleep, her head on my shoulder. I gently tried to wake her up before my stop. She wasn't sleeping. I let a dead woman lie on me for 30 minutes. FML

#960425
663 comments

I agree, your life sucks (656095) - you deserved it (48821)

On 04/13/2009 at 10:11pm - health - by meteorbabe0101 (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, at a family Seder, (a Jewish service for Passover), my mom served matzah balls during the festive meal. Considering how much I love matzah balls and there aren't many options for me to eat because I'm a vegetarian, I shouted, "I like really big balls!" in front of my entire family. FML

#921004
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15326) - you deserved it (72477)

On 04/12/2009 at 12:27am - intimacy - by anon13 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because apparently I need to "grow up". He is the one who plays excesive Call of Duty and still has Pokémon and Bionicles in his room. FML

#856956
460 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56855) - you deserved it (19400)

On 04/07/2009 at 5:41pm - love - by phreshrice (man) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I went on a date with a guy for the first time. We went to Starbucks and got coffee. We talked for a while, and we were joking and having a good time. Suddenly, he put his hand on my stomach and said, "Soon, this will be plump with my seed." FML

#836792
907 comments

I agree, your life sucks (329306) - you deserved it (35707)

On 04/06/2009 at 3:39pm - misc - by creepermagnet (woman) - United States (Maryland)



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