hrlz001

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hrlz001

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3812
  • Number of comments : 20
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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hrlz001's page activity

Visits<b>Kebby8D</b> - the 03/04/2011 at 2:27pm<b></b> - the 01/24/2011 at 1:38am

hrlz001's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

hrlz001's favorite FMLs

Today, I was following my friend to her house in my car, because I didn't know where it was. I'd been following her for at least an hour when she pulled into a gas station. Turns out I'd been following the wrong car. I have no idea where I am. FML

by friedchicken / 11/12/2011 at 1:43am / Canada (British Columbia) / Transportation

Today, I found a note on my door that said "I masturbate to your pictures on Facebook." Someone else wrote "like" at the bottom. FML

by Anonymous / 11/12/2011 at 12:34am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend gave me a promise ring. It was so sweet and romantic, until he said, "I want to marry you one day. But I want to date some other girls first." FML

by so romantic / 11/12/2011 at 12:06am / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, my boyfriend of five years was in a bad car crash, and ended up with a concussion. He didn't remember me. At all. But he remembered his other girlfriend he had cheated on me with for two months. FML

by Nicoli / 11/10/2011 at 1:22pm / United States (Washington) / Love

Today, I stepped in a pile of dog shit. While trying to get it off by wiping my foot on the grass, I stepped in another pile. FML

by Anonymous / 11/10/2011 at 12:07pm / Ireland (Cork) / Animals

Today, my mother spent over $5,000 to fly in a Feng-Shui master, put him in a five-star hotel, and had him walk around our house with a compass, moving things to help improve the "energy flow." Now all I have in my room is an old mattress and lamp. He's coming back tomorrow. FML

by Agathus / 11/10/2011 at 9:35am / United Arab Emirates / Money

Today, I woke up soaked in water. It seems at some point in the middle of the night, I woke up thirsty and opened the water bottle I keep on my nightstand. I managed to drink a little, but it seems I didn't manage to put the cap back on before losing consciousness again. FML

by Olorin / 11/07/2011 at 3:49pm / Germany (Baden-Wurttemberg) / Miscellaneous

Today, I discovered that if you are being mugged, never tell your mugger you are going to call the police because he will come back and steal your phone too. FML

by Luke / 11/07/2011 at 9:53am / United States (Virginia) / Money

Today, as I was walking back to my dorm, I looked down and thought "I wonder why the ground is wet in just this one spot." Then I got hit with a water balloon. FML

by Kirby / 11/06/2011 at 11:50pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went grocery shopping. Being a bartender, I had a huge wad of dollar bills from cash tips. As I was counting them at the register, I looked at the cashier and joked, "You probably think I'm a stripper or something." He looked me up and down and said, "Uh... hell no." FML

by bakedplum / 11/01/2011 at 1:52pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was the 19th wheel at a party. Yes, I counted. FML

by Tom / 11/01/2011 at 1:01am / United States / Love

Today, my girlfriend tried to change her pad while we were sitting in a crowded movie theatre. She succeeded and slipped the used pad into her purse. I can't get rid of the memory, and I don't think I can ever eat popcorn again. FML

by ohdear / 10/31/2011 at 11:38am / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy

Today, I turned in an overdue English assignment at college. My instructor accused me of plagiarism, writing that my sentence structure was "TO" good. Seriously? FML

by Anonymous / 10/31/2011 at 6:09am / United Kingdom (Peterborough) / Miscellaneous

Today, while in the grocery store my boyfriend said very loudly "Don't make me hit you in public again!" He says things like this every time we are in the grocery store line. The sad part is that it's better than when he says "Are you gonna pay for the stuff you put in your purse?" FML

by Anonymous / 10/30/2011 at 4:38am / United States (California) / Love

Today, I went to my husband's work to give him lunch. His assistant told me his "wife" was in his office. FML

by Anonymous / 10/30/2011 at 2:32am / Canada (Alberta) / Love