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hrlz001

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hrlz001
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2157
  • Number of comments : 20
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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hrlz001's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend told me that if I ever cheated on him, he'll chop my body up and dispose of all the parts, but keep my boobies, because he likes them. FML

#18334603
250 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43457) - you deserved it (6838)

On 11/24/2011 at 5:01am - intimacy - by Faithful - Singapore

Today, my gynecologist told me that the ecosystem in my vagina is unbalanced, and that I have to do some reconstruction. Uhm what? FML

#18324369
261 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27311) - you deserved it (4348)

On 11/23/2011 at 4:36am - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, after changing his mind 3 times, my long distance fiancé told me he wasn't coming to see me for Thanksgiving. Out of anger, I threw his clothes, car magazines, and whatever else I could find in a huge, messy pile. During this, he walked into the room. He was going to surprise me. FML

#18320806
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10778) - you deserved it (40307)

On 11/22/2011 at 8:53pm - love - by Anon - United States

Today, I was so hungry that I literally stole candy from a baby. FML

#18306408
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9152) - you deserved it (39400)

On 11/21/2011 at 9:34am - health - by bad karma (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was caught stealing a video game. I realized after my parents were called that the case was actually empty. FML

#18299655
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5624) - you deserved it (73117)

On 11/20/2011 at 4:42pm - misc - by Emil - United States

Today, at 2am, I heard a strange sound coming from the hallway. I walked over, only to discover my drunk boyfriend pissing in the closet. On my favorite shoes. FML

#18295941
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28341) - you deserved it (4182)

On 11/20/2011 at 5:23am - love - by Stinky (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend dumped me. Her exact words used were "I like the idea of you, but I don't like you." I still don't know what that means. FML

#18260922
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26436) - you deserved it (3003)

On 11/16/2011 at 12:23am - love - by dharp7 (man) - United States (California)

Today, my son asked me where babies come from. I told him, "From god." He came back with, "Daddy said it was from fucking." FML

#18255063
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33880) - you deserved it (18246)

On 11/15/2011 at 12:20pm - intimacy - by lababy (woman) - United States

Today, I was cleaning mouse remains from the kitchen floor, left by my cat. I found a small round thing nearby. With no idea what it was, I picked it up and gave it a little squeeze to see if it was solid. It wasn't, and burst with great force onto my face. I'm pretty sure it was an eye. FML

#18254256
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22464) - you deserved it (13983)

On 11/15/2011 at 9:38am - animals - by yuck - United Kingdom (Bolton)

Today, my husband bought a new 80-inch TV. Not only can we barely afford it, but it also blocks our doorways no matter where we put it. He refuses to return it. FML

#18243186
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24899) - you deserved it (3378)

On 11/14/2011 at 12:44am - money - by LCDhell (woman) - United States

Today, I have two black eyes. The first one I got from the girl whose ass I mistakenly grabbed at a party last night. The other one I got from my girlfriend when I explained the first one. FML

#18240312
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12794) - you deserved it (21729)

On 11/13/2011 at 7:11pm - misc - by ThatHurts (man) - Canada

Today, like every day, I used my phone while taking a dump. As I reached for some toilet paper to wipe myself, my sister pounded on the door for me to hurry up. I yelled "Fine," and without realizing it, wiped myself with my phone. FML

#18239656
303 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13832) - you deserved it (49692)

On 11/13/2011 at 5:46pm - misc - by shootme - Canada

Today, my daughter asked me how to spell "Orange". "O-R-A-N-G-E" I replied. Without missing a beat, she says "No, I mean the colour, not the fruit." She is 16. FML

#18234448
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35209) - you deserved it (5504)

On 11/13/2011 at 1:53am - kids - by weswithaute - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I sent the texts "I love and miss you babe;)." and "Shit wrong person." to my ex just so he would think I have a life. FML

#18234157
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16294) - you deserved it (53592)

On 11/13/2011 at 1:16am - love - by random person - United States (Ohio)

Today, like every day since my birth, my name is Spreme. Yeah, you probably have trouble pronouncing it correctly too. FML

#18227248
461 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36297) - you deserved it (2826) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 11/12/2011 at 10:42am - misc - by Nico - France



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