hrlz001

Search for a member

hrlz001

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4527
  • Number of comments : 20
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in their description.

hrlz001's page activity

Visits<b>Kebby8D</b> - the 03/04/2011 at 2:27pm<b></b> - the 01/24/2011 at 1:38am

hrlz001's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

hrlz001's favorite FMLs

Today, I got pulled over for a busted tail light. The officer gave me a warning and told me to fix it. Ten minutes later I was pulled over again for the same busted tail light by the same cop. This time he wrote me a ticket. FML

by Anonymous / 01/05/2012 at 11:06pm / United States (Arkansas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was on the train listening to my iPod on shuffle. The "Oompa Loompa" song came on, and slightly amused, I started humming it. It wasn't until I noticed that the man next to me was a midget that I understood the horrified looks I was getting. FML

by lorahayes / 01/05/2012 at 1:39pm / United Kingdom (Hertford) / Miscellaneous

Today, I called my boyfriend over and over again and he never answered. His mom just called me and asked how I was holding up. I asked her what she meant and she had to tell me he checked himself into rehab because he was addicted to heroin. FML

by jada / 01/04/2012 at 6:29pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, when I woke up I checked my phone for messages, only to hear a woman screaming that I have been sleeping with her husband and that she is sending her 'people' after me. I have never met said husband. I panicked for hours only to receive a call telling me she had dialed the wrong number. FML

by Anonymous / 01/04/2012 at 12:00pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend informed me that my vagina reminds him of ham. But that's okay, because ham is his favorite food. FML

by thankzbabe / 01/04/2012 at 7:32am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I was diagnosed with a clogged milk gland. I am not, nor have ever been, pregnant and therefore have also never breastfed. This condition is caused by my boyfriend's over-active urge to suck on my nipples. I'm in horrible pain, and he won't stop laughing. FML

by Anonymous / 01/03/2012 at 6:07pm / United States (Arizona) / Health

Today, I ignored my phone, as my mother has dementia and calls me 15 or so times a day, thinking each time is the first. I braved horrendous rain and gale-force winds to go to work. Turns out it was work calling to tell me not to bother coming in. FML

by sparkx555 / 01/03/2012 at 11:07am / United Kingdom (London) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my daughter brought her new boyfriend over for dinner. I realize now why she said we would get along great: we graduated high school together. FML

by Anonymous / 01/02/2012 at 8:10pm / United States (Connecticut) / Kids

Today, my mom took my cell to work with her. When she got home later, she scolded me for not answering her calls. When I pointed out that she'd taken it, she grounded me for "talking back". FML

by yourebeautiful / 12/31/2011 at 3:37pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend woke up in the middle of the night, crying. When I asked her why, she said that she had a dream where we were getting married. FML

by Anonymous / 12/28/2011 at 12:26am / United States / Love

Today, I was driving home from work when I saw the woman in the car in front of me throw something out the window. Only when it landed on my windshield did I realize what it was. A bloody tampon. FML

by anonymous / 12/27/2011 at 5:32pm / United States (New York) / Transportation

Today, my dad walked into my room, threw some magazines on my bed, and calmly said "You left your porn in the bathroom again." FML

by ;)loganberry(; / 12/27/2011 at 12:58pm / United States (Montana) / Intimacy

Today, I overheard my mom telling my younger sister not to use my razors because she "doesn't know what I may have." FML

by Anonymous / 12/25/2011 at 2:28am / United States (Florida) / Health

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend, and I said something grammatically wrong during it. He chose to correct it. FML

by Nicki / 12/21/2011 at 7:30am / Canada / Intimacy

Today, I woke up with Skittles super glued to my forehead. FML

by awalc / 12/20/2011 at 12:48pm / United States / Miscellaneous