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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. It was going well until she started talking dirty, saying stuff like, "You like my tushy, baby?" "I want to fellate you so bad," and "You'll need some ice after this one." My boner practically retracted into my body. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23497) - you deserved it (3636)
On 01/30/2012 at 7:25pm - intimacy - by ugh (man) - United States
Today, I drove home from work, only to find both my next-door neighbours loudly arguing in the middle of my driveway. I got out and asked them what the hell was going on, only to find out one of their inbred kids had put a brick through my back window, and each is claiming the other did it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15885) - you deserved it (1330)
On 01/30/2012 at 6:45pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom
Today, I was going through airport security. Trying to get things over and done with quickly, I dropped my pants without a second thought. Turns out they just wanted me to remove my shoes and belt. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6294) - you deserved it (20382)
On 01/28/2012 at 6:31pm - misc - by GothicbunnyxC (woman) - Canada (Prince Edward Island)
Today, while waiting outside a liquor store for my boyfriend, a drunk guy leaned over my shoulder, took a large bite out of my burger, and walked away. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22324) - you deserved it (2856)
On 01/26/2012 at 2:34am - misc - by RequilaRainbow - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, my boyfriend and I were watching a movie and eating a burger. Feeling frisky, I sat up and took off my shirt. He looked at my chest, at his burger, then back at me and said, "Give me a minute, I don't want my food to get cold." FML
I agree, your life sucks (13513) - you deserved it (21882)
On 01/24/2012 at 3:50am - intimacy - by elisimo - United States (New York)
Today, I took my kids to visit their grandma. At one point while playing, my youngest said "shit", so I admonished her. My mom snorted and told me to "stop being such a little bitch", because it will make my kids into "lame prisses like their mother". FML
I agree, your life sucks (19926) - you deserved it (5251)
On 01/23/2012 at 6:26pm - kids - by gloria77 (woman) - United States
Today, I was accepted into a police academy. I called my girlfriend of 2 years, who was supportive through the process. She promptly broke up with me, stating, "You'll be really busy in the academy, and I can't marry a police officer. Its a dangerous job." And then called me selfish for "doing this to us." FML
I agree, your life sucks (26780) - you deserved it (2200)
On 01/23/2012 at 4:56am - work - by FuturePolice (man) - United States (California)
Today, I attempted to cheat on a test by writing some notes on my hand. During the test I had a question. I raised my hand. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5405) - you deserved it (54830)
On 01/19/2012 at 6:26pm - misc - by tiptoesjohnson -
Today, I found out the girl I've been fooling around with for two weeks has a boyfriend, who is in jail, and is a member of the Aryan Brotherhood. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28284) - you deserved it (5102)
On 01/17/2012 at 6:57am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, I came out to my father. He seemed to be totally okay with it, as long as I'm the "man" in my relationships. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23162) - you deserved it (7823)
On 01/16/2012 at 2:55pm - love - by anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, my girlfriend hummed the Jeopardy theme while I was trying to undo her bra. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23183) - you deserved it (17391)
On 01/15/2012 at 7:52am - intimacy - by joeshmoe - United States (Washington)
Today, I realized why buying clear pins for the wall is a bad idea. If one falls out, you won't be able to see it with your eyes, but your foot will find it just fine. I also learnt foot wounds can produce a pretty significant geyser of blood. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15187) - you deserved it (4575)
On 01/15/2012 at 5:53am - misc - by footbloodfountain - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I wandered around my property with my children, trying to find our escaped house cat. While in the more wooded parts, we spotted her on the ground, being picked over by a coyote. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29508) - you deserved it (1999)
On 01/13/2012 at 1:57pm - animals - by Jeslyn03 - Canada (Nova Scotia)
Today, Dell's tech support called to tell me that the laptop I sent to them was going to cost an extra $300 to fix, because of the shattered screen. When I mailed my laptop to them, the touchpad wasn't working. The screen was fine. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25160) - you deserved it (1854)
On 01/12/2012 at 3:06pm - money - by meggs2209 - United States
Today, my 18 year old son asked me to check if there were any monsters under his bed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20993) - you deserved it (5156)
On 01/11/2012 at 3:08pm - kids - by Anonymous - United Arab Emirates
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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