hrlz001

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hrlz001

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4169
  • Number of comments : 20
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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hrlz001's page activity

Visits<b>Kebby8D</b> - the 03/04/2011 at 2:27pm<b></b> - the 01/24/2011 at 1:38am

hrlz001's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

hrlz001's favorite FMLs

Today, I was going through airport security. Trying to get things over and done with quickly, I dropped my pants without a second thought. Turns out they just wanted me to remove my shoes and belt. FML

by GothicbunnyxC / 01/28/2012 at 6:31pm / Canada (Prince Edward Island) / Miscellaneous

Today, while waiting outside a liquor store for my boyfriend, a drunk guy leaned over my shoulder, took a large bite out of my burger, and walked away. FML

by RequilaRainbow / 01/26/2012 at 2:34am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend and I were watching a movie and eating a burger. Feeling frisky, I sat up and took off my shirt. He looked at my chest, at his burger, then back at me and said, "Give me a minute, I don't want my food to get cold." FML

by elisimo / 01/24/2012 at 3:50am / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, I took my kids to visit their grandma. At one point while playing, my youngest said "shit", so I admonished her. My mom snorted and told me to "stop being such a little bitch", because it will make my kids into "lame prisses like their mother". FML

by gloria77 / 01/23/2012 at 6:26pm / United States / Kids

Today, I was accepted into a police academy. I called my girlfriend of 2 years, who was supportive through the process. She promptly broke up with me, stating, "You'll be really busy in the academy, and I can't marry a police officer. Its a dangerous job." And then called me selfish for "doing this to us." FML

by FuturePolice / 01/23/2012 at 4:56am / United States (California) / Work

Today, I attempted to cheat on a test by writing some notes on my hand. During the test I had a question. I raised my hand. FML

by tiptoesjohnson / 01/19/2012 at 6:26pm / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out the girl I've been fooling around with for two weeks has a boyfriend, who is in jail, and is a member of the Aryan Brotherhood. FML

by Anonymous / 01/17/2012 at 6:57am / United States / Love

Today, I came out to my father. He seemed to be totally okay with it, as long as I'm the "man" in my relationships. FML

by anonymous / 01/16/2012 at 2:55pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, my girlfriend hummed the Jeopardy theme while I was trying to undo her bra. FML

by joeshmoe / 01/15/2012 at 7:52am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

Today, I realized why buying clear pins for the wall is a bad idea. If one falls out, you won't be able to see it with your eyes, but your foot will find it just fine. I also learnt foot wounds can produce a pretty significant geyser of blood. FML

by footbloodfountain / 01/15/2012 at 5:53am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I wandered around my property with my children, trying to find our escaped house cat. While in the more wooded parts, we spotted her on the ground, being picked over by a coyote. FML

by Jeslyn03 / 01/13/2012 at 1:57pm / Canada (Nova Scotia) / Animals

Today, Dell's tech support called to tell me that the laptop I sent to them was going to cost an extra $300 to fix, because of the shattered screen. When I mailed my laptop to them, the touchpad wasn't working. The screen was fine. FML

by meggs2209 / 01/12/2012 at 3:06pm / United States / Money

Today, my 18 year old son asked me to check if there were any monsters under his bed. FML

by Anonymous / 01/11/2012 at 3:08pm / United Arab Emirates / Kids

Today, my girlfriend told me there was good news and bad news. Bad news: she's pregnant. Good news: I'm probably not the father. FML

by Anonymous / 01/06/2012 at 7:01pm / United States (Georgia) / Intimacy

Today, my therapist told me, "I'm sorry, but I'm not qualified to handle your level of instability." FML

by Ixi_the_pixie / 01/06/2012 at 11:16am / United States / Health