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hrlz001

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hrlz001

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Birth Date : Not specified
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  • Number of visits : 2596
  • Number of comments : 20
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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hrlz001's page activity

Visits<b>Kebby8D</b> - the 03/04/2011 at 2:27pm

hrlz001's FML badges

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hrlz001's favorite FMLs

Today, in the midst of having sex, my boyfriend decided that, as a joke, he would pretend to be a zombie whilst going down on me. Sadly, the thought turned me so much that I came. This was the first orgasm he's ever given me in over a year of dating. FML

#19064063
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32128) - you deserved it (6171)

On 02/13/2012 at 8:37am - intimacy - by lotrgeek (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got a text from my mom saying, "I heard the cupcake store got robbed. Where are you?" Then she texted back, "Oh never mind, they wanted money, not cupcakes. It wasn't you." Very funny, Mom. FML

#19062994
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23998) - you deserved it (4522)

On 02/13/2012 at 2:09am - misc - by cieee - United States (Texas)

Today, I had a debate with my girlfriend about whether giving birth or getting kicked in the balls hurts more. It ended up with her kicking me in the balls. I was the one who said giving birth hurt more. FML

#19053808
246 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30200) - you deserved it (5795)

On 02/12/2012 at 1:17am - love - by OwMyBalls (man) -

Today, I was looking through some old family photos. I don't know what the hell was going on in my head, but I idly double-tapped on one to zoom in. They were prints. FML

#19042625
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8392) - you deserved it (24803)

On 02/10/2012 at 5:17pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my boyfriend came over to my parents' house for dinner. My dad made Holocaust jokes the entire time. My boyfriend is Jewish. FML

#19023656
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32833) - you deserved it (4118)

On 02/08/2012 at 12:17am - love - by daughterofanazi (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was using a restroom when I heard someone sneeze. I said, "Bless you." It happened again about three times, so I repeated myself each time. I then noticed it was an automatic air freshener. FML

#18981474
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15195) - you deserved it (21874)

On 02/03/2012 at 12:25am - misc - by coleslaw (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I got punched by a man for making fun of his stutter. I didn't. I stutter too. FML

#18980797
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37401) - you deserved it (2227)

On 02/02/2012 at 11:00pm - misc - by Sam (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had to give my husband a tutorial on how to use jumper cables. Confused and flustered, he requested written instructions. FML

#18975500
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20226) - you deserved it (3136)

On 02/02/2012 at 9:50am - misc - by MM (woman) -

Today, I finally got my stubborn toddler to take an afternoon nap after an hour and a half of wrestling with her. Ten minutes later, a UPS package arrived at my door. The UPS man decided it would be a good idea to ring my doorbell repeatedly in rapid-fire sequence as he was walking away. FML

#18974357
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24701) - you deserved it (2440)

On 02/02/2012 at 2:07am - kids - by Insomniac (woman) - United States

Today, I picked up a prostitute. The prostitute was my sister, and I picked her up from jail. FML

#18967800
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55100) - you deserved it (4233)

On 02/01/2012 at 10:01am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I had to sit my 13-year-old son down and explain to him that I'd noticed that his pajamas feel a little "crispy" when I pick them up to do the laundry, and ask if he could start using tissues when having some "alone time." FML

#18966482
247 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33028) - you deserved it (5674)

On 02/01/2012 at 2:11am - intimacy - by stainseverywhere (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I went to see a doctor about some of the memory problems I've been having. After the appointment, I could barely remember a thing he told me. FML

#18961286
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27216) - you deserved it (2726)

On 01/31/2012 at 3:17pm - health - by louie (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I submitted my 208th job application in less than a year, and went to my 83rd and 84th interviews, only to be told once again that I'm over-qualified for the first, and under-qualified for the second. FML

#18960811
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29153) - you deserved it (2005)

On 01/31/2012 at 1:45pm - work - by hastobeajoke (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. It was going well until she started talking dirty, saying stuff like, "You like my tushy, baby?" "I want to fellate you so bad," and "You'll need some ice after this one." My boner practically retracted into my body. FML

#18954927
264 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30888) - you deserved it (4970)

On 01/30/2012 at 7:25pm - intimacy - by ugh (man) - United States

Today, I drove home from work, only to find both my next-door neighbours loudly arguing in the middle of my driveway. I got out and asked them what the hell was going on, only to find out one of their inbred kids had put a brick through my back window, and each is claiming the other did it. FML

#18954545
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21231) - you deserved it (1915)

On 01/30/2012 at 6:45pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom



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