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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I installed an alarm app on my phone. Turns out, to unlock the phone and get the ringing to stop, I have to answer a maths question. It took me ten minutes to get it right. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8373) - you deserved it (19439)
Today, after getting a pat of appreciation from my girlfriend's father for taking it slow, he found me later, in her room, with my head between her thighs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13330) - you deserved it (36899)
On 02/29/2012 at 5:07am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I called my husband, who is currently stationed in Japan, to see how he was doing. According to his girlfriend, he's doing fine. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36333) - you deserved it (1828)
On 02/27/2012 at 12:42pm - love - by unknown - United States
Today, after suffering with bad constipation and having to eat special bread to get me to go, I have practically just pooped out a week's worth of food in 15 minutes, and I'm still going. I've passed the ring of fire stage, now I just can't feel my asshole. FML
I agree, your life sucks (182) - you deserved it (2756)
On 02/27/2012 at 10:55am - health - by awhmaaan - United Kingdom
Today, my dog managed to pull a one-pound package of raw bacon out and eat the entire package including the cardboard. The vets cheered when they finally got him to puke up the entire, unchewed package of bacon. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16018) - you deserved it (1735)
Today, I was having sex with my husband. We thought the house was empty so we didn't mind being loud. Apparently, my grandma thought it would be fun to give us a surprise visit. All I found was a note on the counter from her and the spare key saying "Next time, I'll call." FML
I agree, your life sucks (23953) - you deserved it (3434)
On 02/26/2012 at 7:02pm - intimacy - by . - United States (California)
Today, I cut myself while shaving my globes. My girlfriend now refuses to stop teasing me about being "fisted by Edward Scissorhands." FML
I agree, your life sucks (15436) - you deserved it (5422)
On 02/26/2012 at 12:42pm - intimacy - by still learning - Canada (Nova Scotia)
Today, an African-American family came into the restaurant at which I work. They said, "Jackson, party of 5." After I laughed, I realized they were serious. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13980) - you deserved it (20613)
On 02/26/2012 at 10:31am - work - by Miss_Kristen - United States (Missouri)
Today, I was babysitting. Everything was going well until the kid called 911 on me for making him eat his vegetables. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25269) - you deserved it (2457)
On 02/26/2012 at 12:16am - kids - by whattabrat - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I found out that the pool boy has been stealing from me for over a year now. The latest things that he has taken are my laptop, the cash I hide in my closet and my wife. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30918) - you deserved it (2785)
On 02/16/2012 at 11:26am - misc - by mypoolisstilldirty (man) - Australia
Today, I found out that driving for 2 weeks on 3/4 of a tank doesn't mean my truck magically got more efficient, it means my gas gauge is broken. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9292) - you deserved it (23427)
On 02/16/2012 at 7:49am - misc - by Kramer - Canada (Ontario)
Today, as I was leaving for work, I discovered my neighbor had just passed away. I found out when I came across his body lying in my front yard. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24123) - you deserved it (1258)
On 02/15/2012 at 6:53pm - misc - by Jedi2500 (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, my boyfriend came with me to my first prenatal gynecologist appointment. Half way through the pap smear, I look over and see him grinning pervertedly and staring down the doctor's shirt. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22639) - you deserved it (3272)
On 02/14/2012 at 2:19pm - love - by unicorn - United States
Today, my boyfriend came with me to my first prenatal gynecologist appointment. Half way through the pap smear, I look over and see him grinning pervertedly and staring down the doctor's shirt. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22639) - you deserved it (3272)
On 02/14/2012 at 2:19pm - love - by unicorn - United States
Today, I took my girlfriend out for a fancy dinner to celebrate our anniversary. When the waitress came, we instantly recognized each other. She was the girl I'd had a one night stand with a few weeks before. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7391) - you deserved it (98208)
On 02/13/2012 at 4:49pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada
Monday 17 June 2013
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