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hplover32's FML badges
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hplover32's favorite FMLs
Today, I was reading a crappy "How to spice up your marriage" book with my husband for laughs. One of the ideas was for the guy to whip his knob out, stand behind his girl and say "Can you say that into the microphone?" Now he does it every chance he gets, and I fall for it EVERY TIME. FML
by Kate / 06/07/2011 at 3:50am / United States (California) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 02/12/2011 at 11:52am / United States (California) / Love
by Wisconsin love / 12/13/2010 at 12:35pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Intimacy
Today, one of my husband's old college buddies came over for dinner. We reminisced about our college days, and he laughed as he told the story about my husband making up a friend, Marc Deveau, that he'd say he was visiting when he was cheating on his girlfriend. My husband still sees Marc Deveau. FML
by Anonymous / 11/11/2010 at 3:40am / France / Love
by ahddib / 10/13/2010 at 10:13pm / United States (Alabama) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 10/04/2010 at 8:47pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 09/19/2010 at 10:12am / United States (Florida) / Love
by EpicUsername / 03/10/2010 at 8:14pm / United States (Illinois) / Animals
by sadf4x0r / 02/24/2010 at 12:27pm / United Kingdom (Kirklees) / Love
Today, I drunkenly hooked up with my friend's cousin. After trying to stick his finger up my butt, he blacked out on top of me with his penis still hard inside me. I tried yelling his name and pushing him off, with no success. I ended up having to call my friend to help me. FML
by lendahandmanda / 02/23/2010 at 7:01pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
by goldie09 / 02/18/2010 at 12:36pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
Today, I was in the bathroom getting ready to take a shower. I took all of my clothes off, and stepped into the shower facing the knobs. When I turned around, I saw somebody standing in there with me. Apparently, my little brother and his friend were playing hide and seek, and I found his friend. FML
by soonaked / 01/29/2010 at 7:02pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
by anun / 01/14/2010 at 9:06am / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy
Today, I found out that my boyfriend was going to propose to me about three months ago. I was completely surprised and asked why he didn't. At that time, I had told him to stop looking at me like that and go buy me some damn tacos. I was 2 months pregnant then. Now he wants to wait a couple of years. FML
by cowgurl91 / 01/13/2010 at 4:40pm / Love
Today, I pulled over to help an attractive girl on the highway in the middle of nowhere. When I asked if she needed help she told me she was going to try starting her car one more time. She then started to make fake engine noises and told me that she was good to go and that I should be on my way. FML
by Anonymous / 11/30/2009 at 2:27am / United States (Illinois) / Transportation