Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

hplover32

Search for a member

hplover32
  • Town/Country : Smalltown, USA
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 5 October 1977 (36 years)
  • Number of visits : 517
  • Number of comments : 23
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

hplover32's last visitors

hockeyprincess91Pstraka6Zaketh2112Bradley_Dillonraphannepatd77graceinsheepwearLlama_Face89starileVanillanougat

hplover32's FML badges

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

See all of hplover32's badges

hplover32's favorite FMLs

Today, I was giving my boyfriend road head. He closed his eyes when he came, and crashed into a pole. I have whiplash, and a very very angry father. FML

#13321339
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7400) - you deserved it (40732)

On 10/04/2010 at 8:47pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I found out that my husband keeps in contact with the woman he was infatuated with in high school. He texts her more than he texts me. FML

#13111932
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26348) - you deserved it (3489)

On 09/19/2010 at 10:12am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I was eating a hotdog. My huge Siberian Husky, upon becoming aware of this, jumped up on me. He forced his tongue into my mouth and ate the food I was in the middle of eating. FML

Today, I realised my girlfriend is the perfect woman for most men. She only ever talks to me in the intermissions on Modern Warfare 2; shame it's not me playing. FML

#8614078
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18080) - you deserved it (4191)

On 02/24/2010 at 12:27pm - love - by sadf4x0r (man) - United Kingdom (Kirklees)

Today, I drunkenly hooked up with my friend's cousin. After trying to stick his finger up my butt, he blacked out on top of me with his penis still hard inside me. I tried yelling his name and pushing him off, with no success. I ended up having to call my friend to help me. FML

Today, my boyfriend and I were fooling around in bed, when suddenly, he turned to me and started playing with my breasts as if they were turn tables and he was the DJ. FML

#8406793
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13523) - you deserved it (4231)

On 02/18/2010 at 12:36pm - intimacy - by goldie09 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was in the bathroom getting ready to take a shower. I took all of my clothes off, and stepped into the shower facing the knobs. When I turned around, I saw somebody standing in there with me. Apparently, my little brother and his friend were playing hide and seek, and I found his friend. FML

#7682210
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31672) - you deserved it (4035)

On 01/29/2010 at 7:02pm - misc - by soonaked (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my girlfriend asked me "is it in yet?" FML

#7335788
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21358) - you deserved it (5375)

On 01/14/2010 at 9:06am - intimacy - by anun (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I found out that my boyfriend was going to propose to me about three months ago. I was completely surprised and asked why he didn't. At that time, I had told him to stop looking at me like that and go buy me some damn tacos. I was 2 months pregnant then. Now he wants to wait a couple of years. FML

#7321646
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7697) - you deserved it (27394)

On 01/13/2010 at 4:40pm - love - by cowgurl91 - Sent from mobile version

Today, I pulled over to help an attractive girl on the highway in the middle of nowhere. When I asked if she needed help she told me she was going to try starting her car one more time. She then started to make fake engine noises and told me that she was good to go and that I should be on my way. FML

#6528104
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33406) - you deserved it (5051)

On 11/30/2009 at 2:27am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, a neighbour called to say my water tank burst. A colleague followed me home to help, took off his shirt so it wouldn't get wet and climbed through my window to get to the roof. My boyfriend unexpectedly came home as we were emerging from the bedroom. My colleague was still buttoning his shirt up. FML

#6309981
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41104) - you deserved it (5258)

On 11/15/2009 at 3:42am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my boyfriend came in my room dressed as Harry Potter and declared that he was going to put his basilisk into my chamber of secrets. And yes, that was my first time. FML

#5168083
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30891) - you deserved it (7085)

On 09/10/2009 at 1:18pm - intimacy - by ginny (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, my daughter used the kids potty chair on her own for the first time. Bad: The bucket was not in it so poo hit the floor. Good: she tried to clean it... Bad: with her socks. Good: she decided to clean the socks. Bad: she used the wall. Good: she finally called dad. FML

#5164209
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41111) - you deserved it (3914)

On 09/10/2009 at 3:51am - kids - by Udxero (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out that doctors can be wrong. Pink clothes, pink stroller, pink bottles, pink bibs, pink cribs and pink bedding to go with my baby that recently came out with a little pink penis. FML

#4483118
420 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50568) - you deserved it (19028)

On 08/12/2009 at 7:36pm - kids - by Ouch (man) - United States (Ohio)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: