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hplover32's FML badges
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hplover32's favorite FMLs
Today, just to win a bet against my mum that he could make me scream like a bitch, my dad faked his own suicide. He went the whole mile: fake blood everywhere, fake gun, yelling "Goodbye!" and playing a loud gunshot sound effect from his PC, everything. My dad won; my underwear lost. FML
by pissed out pants / 01/18/2015 at 4:58pm / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous
Today, after listening to a group of my friends ranting on about how much they love babies and can't wait to have them, I got to witness their looks of horror and disgust as I expressed my desire to not have children. I also happened to be the only girl there. FML
by Anonymous / 01/11/2015 at 8:14pm / Australia (Western Australia) / Kids
by Anonymous / 01/11/2015 at 12:56am / United States (Washington) / Love
Today, I was stuck in heavy traffic. Bored, I looked to my left and noticed someone who seemed to be asleep at the wheel. After staring for a bit, wondering how people can be so negligent, I ended up hitting the car in front of me. FML
by 2013bchan41 / 07/18/2014 at 10:22pm / United States (New York) / Transportation
by Anonymous / 05/30/2012 at 6:35pm / Italy (Lombardia) / Love
by Avery / 03/24/2012 at 4:06pm / United States (California) / Geek
by Nate / 01/12/2012 at 12:36am / United States / Love
Today, I drove to the liquor store completely naked except for my dressing gown, with a carload of idiot stoners who ran in and stole vodka, tequila and whiskey. We drank in a bush. Last week I was a good citizen, and now I'm white trash. I'm not quite sure what happened in between. FML
by danii / 10/04/2011 at 11:28pm / Reserved / Miscellaneous
Today, a man punched me for sleeping with his wife. Bewildered, I insisted I would never sleep with a married woman, to which he retorted "She wasn't my wife when it HAPPENED, dumbass!" I was assaulted for sleeping with my own girlfriend three years ago. FML
by Anonymous / 09/27/2011 at 3:53pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Love
by nerofirst / 08/19/2011 at 9:40am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
Today, I heard that a boy in my class had written a song about me. Intrigued, I went to see him perform. I spent 3 excruciating minutes listening to a song about 'the girl of his dreams', his tear-filled eyes staring into mine the whole time. I have to sit next to this freak for the next 2 years. FML
by worried / 08/16/2011 at 9:20am / United Kingdom (Cheshire) / Love
by badass / 08/13/2011 at 3:25am / United States / Love
by siighh / 07/06/2011 at 10:52am / Australia (Victoria) / Work
by Anonymous / 06/29/2011 at 7:52pm / United States (Indiana) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 06/27/2011 at 9:55am / United States (New York) / Intimacy