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houston1617

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houston1617

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 3 January 1995 (20 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 449
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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houston1617's page activity

Visits<b>LAUREN_1053</b> - the 09/05/2013 at 10:57pm<b>monkeycrutch</b> - the 07/28/2013 at 8:20pm<b>nissanleaf</b> - the 05/07/2013 at 7:35pm<b>xTrepidation</b> - the 05/05/2013 at 9:54pm

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That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

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houston1617's favorite FMLs

Today, a cute, new guy I always run into at work hit on me. Turns out he's only 18. I'm old enough to be his mom. FML

#21399135
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22928) - you deserved it (2952)

On 04/24/2015 at 5:46pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, while going down on my boyfriend, I must have gotten a little too enthusiastic because I ripped my tongue's frenulum. We then awkwardly went into the bathroom. While he was washing the blood off his penis, I was hung over the toilet bowl puking because blood makes me woozy. FML

Today, I learned that before you tell a blonde joke, you should make sure that your high school's 6'8", 275-pound, blond quarterback isn't standing behind you. FML

Today, a friendly game of Cards Against Humanity somehow ended in a screaming match, my best friend's mother pulling out her tits, and me getting bit in the foot by a dog. FML

Today, I lost my virginity in a porta-potty. FML

#21389255
262 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16721) - you deserved it (41746)

On 04/07/2015 at 12:19pm - love - by NotALuckyGuy - United States (Ohio)

Today, I dislocated my toe while putting on my socks. FML

#21384619
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28740) - you deserved it (4709)

On 03/31/2015 at 6:54am - health - by billy - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I got in an argument with an ex-girlfriend who kept tactlessly bragging to me about her new boyfriend. I told her to read what she'd sent me, then pretend her boyfriend was telling her that. Fifteen minutes later, her boyfriend calls me, yelling for making her feel sad. FML

#21384606
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29121) - you deserved it (3186)

On 03/31/2015 at 5:35am - love - by lucasbeck99 (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I found my dad's porn stash on his laptop. I went through it for a laugh to see what kind of sick, twisted shit he's into. Mostly nude pictures of my mum, as it turns out. I can't wipe the afterimage from my mind. FML

#21382495
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11209) - you deserved it (37450)

On 03/27/2015 at 4:28pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, while camping, I was given the sex talk, along with visuals created with marshmallows and a roasting fork. FML

#21377041
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27880) - you deserved it (2562)

On 03/18/2015 at 11:02am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I took my son to the playground and watched him have fun. Minutes later, I was being shoved around and called a pedophile because I was there alone with no wife. By the time I convinced them I was innocent, my son was bawling. FML

#21374998
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37833) - you deserved it (1815)

On 03/15/2015 at 12:11pm - kids - by pledonasm (man) - India (Maharashtra)

Today, a dog bit me, tearing a hole through my sweatpants, my shorts, and my underwear, all to get at the dog treat I'd hidden in my pocket. FML

#21369995
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26064) - you deserved it (8231)

On 03/07/2015 at 3:14pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, my little sister complained about a young boy in her class always pulling her hair. She asked when boys will stop doing it. My mom replied, "They won't, even when they're grown-ups," then looked over at my dad and shared a dirty smirk. FML

#21369959
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35632) - you deserved it (3255)

On 03/07/2015 at 2:09pm - intimacy - by greatly disturbed - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend's little sister told me she hates me. I thought she was just a jealous, whiny tard like most kids are, until she calmly walked over to the wall and headbutted it hard. She burst into tears, ran out of the room, and told my boyfriend I hit her. He believed her. FML

#21369365
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34937) - you deserved it (2872)

On 03/06/2015 at 3:44pm - kids - by single&alone (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I had to sit and smile as a drunk lady ranted about how body hair on a woman is disgusting and unfeminine, then in the next breath say that only pedos like women who shave their vaginas. That's the last time I ever have dinner with my boyfriend's parents. FML

#21369265
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28214) - you deserved it (1923)

On 03/06/2015 at 11:51am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



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