Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

houston1617

Offline (the 12/18/2014 at 1:51am) | Search for a member

houston1617

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 3 January 1995 (19 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 253
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

houston1617's page activity

Visits<b>LAUREN_1053</b> - the 09/05/2013 at 10:57pm<b>monkeycrutch</b> - the 07/28/2013 at 8:20pm<b>nissanleaf</b> - the 05/07/2013 at 7:35pm<b>xTrepidation</b> - the 05/05/2013 at 9:54pm

houston1617's FML badges

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

See all of houston1617's badges

houston1617's favorite FMLs

Today, my dad and grandpa came to a charity event that I helped set up for people who have autism. I appreciated their support, until I heard my dad say "Man, some of these 'tards are pretty hot." and my grandpa replying "Yeah. Probably like dead fish in bed, though." FML

#21316987
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30789) - you deserved it (2501)

On 12/13/2014 at 9:02pm - misc - by ashamed (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I took out my old hairdryer and turned it on. I then gave my roommate a show as I ran out of the bathroom, naked and screaming, after a spider was blasted out of the hairdryer and directly at my face. FML

#21316166
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30741) - you deserved it (3809)

On 12/12/2014 at 11:35am - misc - by lateralligator - Canada (Ontario)

Today, being useless at thinking of gifts, I asked my boyfriend what he wants for Christmas. I said it could be anything that I could afford. He looked me in the eye and said very seriously: "Anal." FML

#21312610
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31728) - you deserved it (9526)

On 12/06/2014 at 2:53pm - intimacy - by fuckered519 (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I have to deal with being laughed at by my mother and sister, because they keep making sharp movements towards me, causing me to flinch. This is because I got mugged and beaten last night. They think it's hysterical. FML

#21304446
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43246) - you deserved it (2596)

On 11/23/2014 at 12:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found out the only reason my boyfriend asked me out is because he thought I "looked like a girl who'd be into anal". FML

#21295289
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34614) - you deserved it (3824)

On 11/09/2014 at 8:31am - misc - by analgirl (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was walking back to my dorm with my boyfriend. He was being really sweet as he held my hand. We were about to kiss goodnight and as he pushed some hair out of my face he said, "Can we hurry it up? I'm about to rip one." FML

#21289293
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28727) - you deserved it (3248)

On 10/31/2014 at 8:39pm - love - by grossedout -

Today, I woke up really early to get ready for an interview. I guess it was too early because my mom thought someone broke into our house and now I have two bruised ribs. FML

#21288937
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28657) - you deserved it (2264)

On 10/31/2014 at 8:05am - misc - by nopethanks - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my boyfriend told my four-year-old sister that "fatass" means "beautiful lady." I didn't know about this until I took my sister shopping with me. The woman at the till said she was adorable; my sister replied, "Thanks, fatass." FML

#21288917
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31257) - you deserved it (2608)

On 10/31/2014 at 6:55am - kids - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Rhondda Cynon Taff)

Today, I found out the guy I've been dating for 5 months is engaged to his girlfriend of 3 years. I found out as we were talking, waiting for him to come outside after work. FML

#21288734
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32697) - you deserved it (2443)

On 10/30/2014 at 10:32pm - intimacy - by taylor w - United States

Today, I woke up to a text from my manager, saying "Hed's up dude, ur gettin fired tomoz. CEO's pissed. No hard feelins m8". Great. FML

#21287630
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32212) - you deserved it (2504)

On 10/29/2014 at 11:46am - work - by fired tomoz (man) - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, I watched as the teenage neighbor girl tried to parallel-park between me and my wife's cars. She was doing pretty well until she backed into mine, got scared, hit the accelerator and ran into my wife's. FML

#21287621
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39642) - you deserved it (3015)

On 10/29/2014 at 11:24am - misc - by carless - United States

Today, my school put on a musical. I was one of the leads, and in the middle of my solo, I got a huge nosebleed. A little girl in the front row screamed. FML

#21287120
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29435) - you deserved it (2182)

On 10/28/2014 at 5:58pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was being interviewed for a grant over the phone. When asked why I wanted to go to school to be an OB nursing assistant, I panicked and yelled, "BECAUSE VAGINAS ARE FASCINATING!" into the receiver. FML

#21286497
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27681) - you deserved it (11582)

On 10/27/2014 at 7:05pm - health - by lady parts - United States (Illinois)

Today, I almost got lucky with a girl from my course. We've been flirting since we met. After removing her top and moving downwards with my tongue, whilst moaning my name she decided to mention she has a boyfriend and that we needed to stop. FML

#21248283
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47378) - you deserved it (4717)

On 08/30/2014 at 2:44am - intimacy - by Anonymous - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, my boss chewed me out for correcting several spelling and grammar mistakes in one of his reports. The words "Think you're so damn smart, don't ya?" were uttered. I'm his secretary, and proofreading his shit is part of my job. FML

#21243125
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42282) - you deserved it (2675)

On 08/22/2014 at 12:56pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Xmas illustrated FML
  • Here we go, final lap before Christmas is finally upon us. Although, you could say we've been subjected to quite a few strains of Christmas already. The decorations are up since mid-August, and certain family…

Friday 19 December 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: