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houston1617

Offline (the 06/27/2015 at 6:29pm) | Search for a member

houston1617

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 3 January 1995 (20 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 563
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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houston1617's page activity

Visits<b>LAUREN_1053</b> - the 09/05/2013 at 10:57pm<b>monkeycrutch</b> - the 07/28/2013 at 8:20pm<b>nissanleaf</b> - the 05/07/2013 at 7:35pm<b>xTrepidation</b> - the 05/05/2013 at 9:54pm

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houston1617's favorite FMLs

Today, after constant avoidance, I saw the man who slept with my mother and caused my parents to get divorced. I desperately wanted to punch him in the face, but instead I had to smile and shake his hand as he gave me my diploma. FML

#21431164
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33549) - you deserved it (2077)

On 06/24/2015 at 1:41pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) -

Today, I had to call a parent and tell them that their special needs daughter is pregnant. FML

#21430924
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30497) - you deserved it (1773)

On 06/23/2015 at 11:16pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, after parking in the handicapped spot of a lot with my placard, an older couple with their 7-year-old grandchild came up and yelled at me for being a lying asshole and taking the parking spot. When I showed them my prosthetic leg, the kid started crying and guess who got yelled at again. FML

#21430208
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28342) - you deserved it (1257)

On 06/22/2015 at 4:46pm - health - by ICanExplain - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend came to my work, at a drive thru, in my car, and then got mad at me because I wouldn't give him free food. In his anger, he put my car in reverse and backed out of line very quickly, only to smash into a paying customer. FML

#21428964
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25667) - you deserved it (2320)

On 06/20/2015 at 6:45am - love - by ugh - United States (Florida)

Today, I was rear-ended. While I was yelling, "WHAT THE F..." the lady who hit me completely freaked out and drove into me again. Twice. FML

#21425087
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25844) - you deserved it (2035)

On 06/12/2015 at 5:09pm - misc - by BrakesNotBumpers (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I had to endure the most mortifying ambulance ride of my life after my fiancé's cock ring got stuck on my tongue piercing. As I was trying not to choke or vomit, he actually high-fived one of the EMTs and tried to get him to take a picture on his phone. FML

#21424446
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29250) - you deserved it (8543)

On 06/11/2015 at 12:10pm - intimacy - by awkward - United Kingdom (Dumfries and Galloway)

Today, my husband and I broke the news to my 10-year-old son that in about 8 months, he'll have a baby brother or sister. I knew he never wanted a sibling, but I didn't expect him to throw a tantrum, then look at me through teary eyes and scream, "Why can't you keep your fucking legs closed?" FML

#21423894
315 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34998) - you deserved it (6946)

On 06/10/2015 at 12:13pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my housemate got back at me for asking for her share of a bill by losing her virginity to the guy I like, very loudly. FML

#21423445
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25750) - you deserved it (1995)

On 06/09/2015 at 4:52pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Ireland

Today, I had a call to the rodent rescue I run. They wanted to know if we had any mice for adoption and how much they cost. I told them that we had over 30 mice, and that we don't charge but do take donations. They said, "That's fantastic! I've been struggling to find snake food that isn't frozen!" FML

Today, my dog was knocked unconscious. I had to race him to the vet and pay a small fortune for x-rays and shots. All because he ran into the kitchen at full speed and smashed headfirst into the refrigerator after hearing me open a bag of turkey. FML

Today, I backed into an expensive SUV only minutes after my boss congratulated me for being the only employee to not wreck a company car. FML

#21413424
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27466) - you deserved it (4919)

On 05/21/2015 at 6:48am - work - by pgmonster - United States (California)

Today, I got a text from a guy I hooked up with. I'm not really interested in him, so I rushed out of his house last night. He was letting me know I left my wallet at his house, and if I want it, I'll have to let him take me to dinner. FML

#21405647
248 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18403) - you deserved it (31829)

On 05/06/2015 at 1:44pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I pulled a piece of dental floss out of my ass. How it got there is one of life's great mysteries. FML

#21403757
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31503) - you deserved it (4632)

On 05/03/2015 at 3:42am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend that me switching to "super" sized tampons does not mean I've been having sex with other men with bigger penises, and that my vagina hasn't been "stretched bigger". FML

#21403711
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31669) - you deserved it (2991)

On 05/03/2015 at 1:37am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, after a 2 month relationship, I realized two things: A) Dating a known psycho because "crazy chicks are great in bed" is a dumb idea, and B) What crazy chicks are actually great at is beating the crap out of you and driving you to alcoholism. FML

#21402940
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14193) - you deserved it (29047)

On 05/01/2015 at 3:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) -



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