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houston1617

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houston1617

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 3 January 1995 (19 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 148
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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houston1617's page activity

Visits<b>LAUREN_1053</b> - the 09/05/2013 at 10:57pm<b>monkeycrutch</b> - the 07/28/2013 at 8:20pm<b>nissanleaf</b> - the 05/07/2013 at 7:35pm<b>xTrepidation</b> - the 05/05/2013 at 9:54pm

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houston1617's favorite FMLs

Today, on the bus, a little boy gave me the dirtiest look, pointed at my pregnant stomach, and menacingly said, "I know what you did." FML

#21205823
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49622) - you deserved it (6571)

On 07/11/2014 at 7:03am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex. She was on top, and then stopped, got off, and said, "Let's go get ice cream." I think this was her way of telling me I suck at sex. FML

#21199096
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44514) - you deserved it (8968)

On 07/05/2014 at 12:26am - intimacy - by bad in the sack - United States

Today, my teenage daughter faked a suicide because I bought her a Samsung instead of an iPhone for her birthday. FML

#21198840
328 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54267) - you deserved it (11197)

On 07/04/2014 at 8:15pm - kids - by iphonerevolution - South Africa

Today, my grandma got a new boyfriend. She dumped the old one because "His wife was taking too long to die." FML

#21195046
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49279) - you deserved it (4151)

On 07/01/2014 at 1:31pm - love - by carebear1228 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my sister ran into my room unannounced while I was on webcam with a potential employer. Before I could react, she looked at my screen, said "Damn, he's fucking hot." and flashed him. FML

#21191852
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51767) - you deserved it (4716)

On 06/28/2014 at 8:26pm - work - by justno - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was talking to my boss about dogs and cats. I'm a dog person; he's a cat person. He told me that he likes cats better, because they are laid back and don't do anything all day. Before I could stop myself, I blurted out, "Just like you?" FML

#21188385
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36304) - you deserved it (24672)

On 06/25/2014 at 8:20pm - work - by Respect101 (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I heard my son say, "I don't want any bacon with my eggs". Where did I go wrong? FML

#21187679
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51779) - you deserved it (16786)

On 06/25/2014 at 8:30am - kids - by failed dad (man) - Greece (Attiki)

Today, I came back home after a year studying abroad. Imagine my surprise when I found out my mom had gotten breast implants while I was away. All through dinner, I kept catching myself staring at them. No wonder my dad was so much happier than when I left. FML

#21184159
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38276) - you deserved it (4529)

On 06/22/2014 at 12:34pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I woke up and put my contacts in. It appears that I got drunk enough last night that instead of soaking my contacts in contact solution, I used mouthwash. FML

#21181415
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41009) - you deserved it (22131)

On 06/20/2014 at 1:06am - misc - by anon - United States (Missouri)

Today, I didn't pay enough attention while sending a music file to be used in a powerful video my class-mates and I made about the Syrian civil war. Instead of a moving classical track, viewers were shown graphic scenes of devastation to the tune of Gangnam Style. FML

#21128082
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23606) - you deserved it (34215)

On 05/01/2014 at 4:10pm - work - by Mortifiedcharityworker (woman) - Austria

Today, I was in the car with my boyfriend, who was driving down the highway with the windows down. All of a sudden, everything went black. A cattle truck had sped past, and I had been hit by cow faeces travelling at 110km an hour. My boyfriend was hysterical. None of it hit him. FML

#21127873
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48276) - you deserved it (4391)

On 05/01/2014 at 10:17am - animals - by Felicityfrank (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, after cleaning my house because I'd thrown a party all weekend while my parents were gone, I still got caught because somebody tried to make beer popsicles with Q-Tips in the ice trays in my freezer. FML

#21106348
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20084) - you deserved it (38301)

On 04/06/2014 at 11:03pm - misc - by trp007 (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I called my mom to ask for some help with my dishwasher. Somehow, the call got turned into a video call. I was wearing a bathrobe, and she was naked in her bathroom. Most awkward call ever. FML

#21105694
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37450) - you deserved it (4513)

On 04/06/2014 at 2:57am - misc - by FaceTime issues - United States (Arizona)

Today, I found out that the squeaking I've heard for the past three months, that I thought was my guinea pig, is actually my girlfriend cheating on me with my older brother. FML

#21105078
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65980) - you deserved it (6362)

On 04/05/2014 at 10:27am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I got up early in the morning to get a snack, only to walk in on my "vegan" housemate eating a turkey sandwich. This bastard harasses me every other day about my meat-eating, but all he could do after he noticed me was drop the sandwich and claim he'd been sleepwalking. FML

#21104594
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37995) - you deserved it (3096)

On 04/04/2014 at 6:07pm - misc - by fuck you with a bacon cock (man) - United Kingdom (Moray)



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