heymoon

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heymoon

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Sunday 19 November 1995 (20 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2752
  • Number of comments : 16
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About heymoon : I lurk.

heymoon's page activity

Visits<b>najthebomb</b> - the 06/11/2014 at 3:20pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:19pm<b>sourgirl101</b> - the 08/29/2011 at 1:36pm<b>KiddNYC1O</b> - the 08/27/2011 at 1:04pm<b>pinklover24</b> - the 06/27/2011 at 7:32pm<b>lmc94</b> - the 05/01/2011 at 3:02pm<b>josepigo</b> - the 03/20/2011 at 2:46am<b>Jimboom</b> - the 02/11/2011 at 5:38am<b></b> - the 01/11/2011 at 1:20am<b>newzealand</b> - the 12/27/2010 at 5:19am<b>dkool20</b> - the 12/18/2010 at 2:39pm<b>Miss_lunatic</b> - the 06/04/2010 at 6:36am<b>BluPenguin</b> - the 03/16/2010 at 8:29pm<b>kittygirl24</b> - the 02/11/2010 at 7:08pm<b>QTp13</b> - the 02/08/2010 at 2:59am<b>mysmjas</b> - the 01/29/2010 at 9:39pm<b>hk</b> - the 01/24/2010 at 2:06am<b>virtue_tm</b> - the 01/12/2010 at 9:49am

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heymoon's favorite FMLs

Today, I had a nice, open chat with my mother. I accidentally let slip that I'm a nymphomaniac. She accidentally let slip that my dad is bad in bed. I don't think either of us will be chatting so openly for awhile. FML

by ewmomew / 09/12/2010 at 12:07am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, my kitchen sink was clogged. I poured a bottle of Drano down and came back two hours later. The clog is still there, but the glue on the pipe is not and now there is Drano-water all over the floor, staining and dissolving everything in my kitchen. FML

by MisterT / 05/18/2010 at 9:23pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, I signed in my msn messenger. Everyone in my friends list apparently changed their status to 'busy' or 'away' when they saw me online, including my crush. FML

by everyonehatesme / 05/02/2010 at 4:37am / Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur) / Geek

Today, the doctor told me that I have Vasovagal Syncope: I pass out every time I get aroused. Bye bye sex. FML

by Sanchez / 01/07/2010 at 12:22pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I realized that our generation will be remembered as the kids who liked sparkly vampires. FML

by buhknee / 11/24/2009 at 7:08pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend of two years broke up with me so she could "let her life flow in the direction she wants." Apparently that includes smoking, stealing and making out with other girls at parties. The best part? She wants to get back together "after she matures and gets it out of her system." FML

by ApparentlyIFail / 11/20/2009 at 4:30am / Love

Today, I stood in line for one hour to get a new phone. It then took me 2 minutes to drop it and shatter the screen, and 2 seconds for the employee to look at, laugh, and tell me, "That Sucks." FML

by bananaface / 11/16/2009 at 2:29am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up in a daze after a long night drinking. I felt a subtle nudge on my shoulder. I was at my ex-girlfriends house, passed out on top of her, with no pants on. Her dad was, in so many words, informing me that I had to leave immediately. FML

by Matt / 07/13/2009 at 3:06pm / United States (Florida) / Love

Today, I was at Target with my mom and we finished purchasing our items. We had gotten a fan so I said, "This thing is too big to fit in." First thing my mom yells? "THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID!" and starts laughing hysterically in front of the entire store. FML

by embarrassed / 07/12/2009 at 2:25pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, for my birthday, my brother gave me some of those fake 'Harry Potter' edible cockroaches. I ate one. It wasn't fake. FML

by partygirlxxx / 05/23/2009 at 11:01pm / United States (Kentucky) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was scolding my 8 year old son because he was getting bad grades in school. I told him that he should get straight A's like his friend Ceejay. He told me that comparing him to Ceejay was unfair and when I asked why he said, "Because his dad is actually smart." FML

by tomandjerry / 05/21/2009 at 12:35am / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I was serving a family at the restaurant where I work. When I went to ask the little girl what she wanted, I was tongue-tied and got "cutie" and "hun" mixed up and ended up asking, "What can I get for you, cuntie?" FML

by keeks_25 / 05/08/2009 at 4:53pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work

Today, I realized the senior thesis I turned in last week uses the word "asses" instead of "assess" 17 times. FML

by fuckspellcheck / 04/28/2009 at 2:47pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I accidentally pressed the panic button under the register at work. I didn't even know we had a panic button until the cops showed up. FML

by Anonymous / 03/31/2009 at 5:08am / Australia (Western Australia) / Work

Today, I kissed my girlfriend and she tasted like a cigarette. I don't smoke. She doesn't smoke. My roommate does. FML

by scotto / 02/22/2009 at 8:21pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love