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havok87

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havok87

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  • Number of visits : 1404
  • Number of comments : 106
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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havok87's page activity

Visits<b>cookiecake97</b> - the 08/22/2014 at 1:23am<b>Jabberwockyy</b> - the 03/27/2014 at 8:41am<b>anonchick44889</b> - the 02/16/2014 at 12:27am<b>supernaturalcat</b> - the 08/02/2013 at 6:23pm<b>MickiJ</b> - the 07/24/2013 at 1:55pm<b>Dusk_Shores</b> - the 07/24/2013 at 9:27am<b>kmj3637</b> - the 04/29/2013 at 3:33pm<b>noncom</b> - the 04/21/2013 at 11:47am<b>NagainaFier</b> - the 04/16/2013 at 10:52pm<b>SillyGirl4602</b> - the 03/12/2013 at 3:53am<b>Werken247</b> - the 01/28/2013 at 12:52pm<b>Wedees</b> - the 01/28/2013 at 10:02am

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havok87's favorite FMLs

Today, my grandmother called me in a fit of panic because her new neighbors are black. So is my fiancé, whom she is supposed to meet tomorrow. FML

#20921768
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46804) - you deserved it (4686)

On 10/15/2013 at 5:43pm - misc - by secretsmakefriends (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I am 20 weeks pregnant. My fiancé has decided my new nickname will be "Oink Oink". FML

#20917413
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40265) - you deserved it (4480)

On 10/12/2013 at 9:19am - love - by oink oink... - United States (Texas)

Today, I had a new client on my massage list. Two of my fingers got stuck in the thick coat of hair covering his back. I had to stop myself from making grunting noises whilst extricating them. FML

#20914768
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37257) - you deserved it (2867)

On 10/10/2013 at 1:25am - work - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I started to come to during dental surgery. I clearly heard someone behind me say "Shit! Get this fucker back under!" then another person mentioning they'd have to kill me to avoid "another lawsuit", followed by laughter and the blackness of sleep. FML

#20909921
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57151) - you deserved it (3378)

On 10/06/2013 at 5:49pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my husband yelled from upstairs, "Babe! BABE, COME QUICK!" Terrified that something might have happened to our newborn daughter, I rushed up, only to find out he just wanted to show me that he'd learned how to spin a top on the tip of his penis without it falling. FML

#20908628
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48962) - you deserved it (6619)

On 10/05/2013 at 5:28pm - intimacy - by -____- (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, while in class, I had to sneeze. Not wanting to make a lot of noise, I held it in, only to instead let out a huge, long fart. Everyone, including the teacher, turned and stared at me intently. FML

#20901889
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42829) - you deserved it (7345)

On 09/30/2013 at 12:22pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Iowa)

Today, I went to a really important job interview. During it, I accidentally let out a burp, came down with nervous hiccups, and when I tried to quietly ease out some painful gas that was building up, it came out as a massive, rancid fart. I'll definitely be unemployed for a while yet. FML

#20898243
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41349) - you deserved it (9382)

On 09/27/2013 at 5:33pm - work - by ;_;" (woman) - Lebanon (Beyrouth)

Today, my husband wanted me to "spice up" our sex life. I guess he didn't count on me vomiting when he came in my mouth. We won't be getting intimate again for a long, long time now. FML

#20888582
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47609) - you deserved it (10597)

On 09/20/2013 at 12:57am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was at work at Krispy Kreme for national "talk like a pirate" day. If you dressed like a pirate you'd get a free dozen donuts. A man came in with just an eyepatch on. Thinking he was trying to get a free dozen, I told him he needed to try harder. Turned out the eyepatch was real. FML

#20888238
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44903) - you deserved it (12453)

On 09/19/2013 at 8:47pm - work - by Jamie - United States (Virginia)

Today, I went on a blind date. He showed up in a shirt that read, "I f*ck on first dates". FML

#20888198
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50412) - you deserved it (5727)

On 09/19/2013 at 8:20pm - intimacy - by ughreally (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I had to put up with a student who stubbornly insisted that King Solomon was, in fact, a Pokémon. FML

Today, one of my employees called in after his 8-hour shift, explaining that he had bed bugs at home, found one on his shirt, and thinks they are in the store. I own a mattress shop. They'd spread. FML

#20877588
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46448) - you deserved it (2547)

On 09/11/2013 at 9:12pm - work - by icanteven - United States (Kentucky)

Today, at my boyfriend's brother's house, I desperately needed to poop. After finishing my business, I realized the toilet wouldn't flush. I had to pull my poop out, wrap it in TP and make an excuse to go outside to throw it in a bush. The neighbor was watching. FML

#20874714
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41149) - you deserved it (11044)

On 09/09/2013 at 6:05pm - misc - by heyhijello - United States (California)

Today, while I was sleeping, apparently I rolled over towards my fiancé and told him "We gotta save the turtles!" and had a five seconds long fart. Now he won't stop making fun of me. FML

#20861263
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43073) - you deserved it (7342)

On 08/31/2013 at 2:04am - misc - by fartz (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were discussing sports injuries, and I mentioned that I pulled a muscle in my crotch last year. He snorted and called me a clueless idiot because according to him, "girls don't have crotches". He's a med student. I sense malpractice lawsuits in our future. FML

#20850902
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43561) - you deserved it (3432)

On 08/23/2013 at 2:21pm - misc - by fucking financial ruin (woman) - United States (North Carolina)



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