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Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
50 favourites
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Today, I went on a run with my crush. She expressed how happy she was to have a decent running partner, because the last one kept complaining he thought he might throw up. We got to the top of the hill and I puked right in front of her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26303) - you deserved it (2923)
On 01/16/2013 at 7:53pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Hawaii)
Today, while moving into my new place, I saw my new, elderly neighbor sitting on her porch. I cheerfully greeted her with, "Hello, how are you?" She simply rocked slowly in her chair and replied, "Just waiting to die." She was the most cheerful person I met all day. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24441) - you deserved it (1507)
On 01/16/2013 at 6:22pm - misc - by Kallian - United States
Today, I walked up sixteen flights of stairs to my room to avoid the lift lines. When I was almost to the top, the fire alarm sounded. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24313) - you deserved it (2290)
On 01/16/2013 at 2:02pm - misc - by tired - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, while reading an erotic story I was more excited that the author used a conjunctive adverb than the sexual content in the story. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20008) - you deserved it (7823)
On 01/13/2013 at 1:39am - intimacy - by frustrated - United States (Florida)
Today, my husband suggested a way for us to "make some money" off our pregnancy. His great idea? Pregnancy porn. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28408) - you deserved it (2824)
Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try some "prolonging gel" to help him last longer between the sheets. Surprisingly, it worked, and he lasted 3 times longer than usual. I can now enjoy 4 whole minutes of sex. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34486) - you deserved it (3683)
On 01/11/2013 at 12:17am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Mississippi)
Today, I woke up after sleeping with my boyfriend for the first time. I rolled over and smiled at him, and the first thing he said was, "You farted. A lot." FML
I agree, your life sucks (22907) - you deserved it (4104)
On 01/07/2013 at 10:40am - love - by gassy - United States (Texas)
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because I'm too "high maintenance". And that's because I ask him to use condoms when we have sex, and I refuse to invite my friends over for threesomes. I don't know why I'm not actually glad we are broken up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20510) - you deserved it (3710)
On 01/07/2013 at 3:35am - love - by kat124ever (woman) - United States (Armed Forces Europe, Middle East)
Today, I was cleaning one of my disabled clients because he pooped himself, so I started to undress him for a shower. I took his dirty diaper off and set it on his bed, then I bent over to take off his socks at which point he put the diaper on my head like a hat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43020) - you deserved it (3349)
On 01/02/2013 at 10:49am - work - by habassistant - United States (Ohio)
Today, while helping out at a retirement home, I had to get a book off a bookshelf. When I reached up, my watch got stuck on my shirt, resulting in my shirt lifting up. I just flashed my man-boobs to at least 20 senior citizens, and one of them even asked if he could have a feel. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21579) - you deserved it (4453)
On 12/31/2012 at 2:58am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, I tried to impress a girl at the gym on the squat rack, but let out a big fart. She was grossed out and laughed at me with her friends. Her boyfriend came over and told me I was a dead man, and I'd better leave. I'm now the proud owner of a year membership at a gym I can't go to. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15100) - you deserved it (16932)
On 12/27/2012 at 1:46am - health - by pipefitter28 (man) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, to scare my little brother I dressed up as the killer from the Scream movies. The outfit was a little too long on me, and I ended up falling down the stairs. Not only was he doubled over laughing, but so were the people in the emergency room. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6127) - you deserved it (19375)
On 12/01/2012 at 3:21pm - health - by fieldmarshalclitter (man) - United States
Today, I'm recovering in the emergency room. How did I get here? Intoxicated at a coed party, I saw a hole in the host's shed and thought it funny to christen it a "glory-hole", only to be bitten by what may well have been a black widow spider. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4312) - you deserved it (29148)
On 11/28/2012 at 1:09pm - health - by Widowmaker - United States (Nevada)
Today, my husband quit his job as a university professor and picked up the graveyard shift at a rat farm so he could have more time during the day to play World of Warcraft. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23588) - you deserved it (1979)
On 11/28/2012 at 1:32am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I was watching a video from the 80s on sexual dysfunctions, and I noticed that one of the boys in the film looked strangely like my dad when he was younger. After a little investigation, I now know that in his youth, my dad had a crippling masturbation problem. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29637) - you deserved it (2075)
On 11/27/2012 at 4:04pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)
Friday 24 May 2013
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