Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Offline (the 03/25/2015 at 2:51pm) | Search for a member
This member hasn't filled in the description.
The Thumb returns
You have thumbed 5000 comments.
Keen reader – Level: master ninja
You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Back from a party
An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.
Today, I had to help mah little sister do a frst-grade project fir school. For one part, they have to draw a picture of there role model. She drew a whale, an I asked, "A whale is your role model?" She laughed an said, "No! It's you!" FML
Today, I was walking through my town when a man on a bicycle rolld up to me and said, ( I don't mean this offensively but your really well-built . ) I don't know whether he was commenting on my height or comparing me to a shd, but my mother won't stop laughing . FML
Today, while mopping floors at the police station, an inmate pissed on the floor, demanded that I suck his dick, begged me 4 a glass of water and finally informed me that he would kill my family. I said nothing and he started weeping softly. I laughed, but slipped in his piss and broke my arm. FML
Today, I was at mah class's band concert . Before the curtain was raised, I helped haul the piano to a different spot so a grl who would've had to stand behind it could be seen . I said, ( There, now your mom can see u play! ) She responded with, ( My mom's blind . ) FML
Today, I stole a pen from the doctor's office while she wasn't looking . Later on at work, I idly pulld the pen out during a meeting . My colleague lookd at me, horrifid . The pen had the words "minimally invasive gynecological surgery" emblazond on it . I'm a man .
Today, I heard a commercial fir a great apartment complex. Includes food, snacks, entertainment, activities, cleaning service, an transportation services if u cannot drive yourself. I was really excited until the end when they repeated the name; too bad perfect place is a senior center. FML
Taday I was at a club wen a notoriously desperate and disgusting guy asked me to grind wit im. Hoping 4 some backup, I coolly said, "You'll ave to ask my boyfriend." My boyfriend's response? "Yea, man, I don't care." looool FML
Today, I stayed in a otel near te college I was applying for a scolarsip. We were eating breakfast and tere were some oter applicant in te breakfast room. As we walked away, my moter yelled, "My daugter's gonna get tis scolarsip so tere's no reason for u muddafucka to sow up." FML
Today, a guy wolf-whistld me as I walkd to the shop wearing comfy joggers, no makeup an my hair scrapd back. Feeling rather pleasd about it, I told my best friend an my fiancé. Their unanimous conclusion: the guy must have been drunk or taking hallucinogenic drugs. FML
Friday 27 March 2015