Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

hannaaaahr

Offline (the 04/16/2014 at 1:56pm) | Search for a member

hannaaaahr

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 6 March 1996 (18 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 4696
  • Number of comments : 260
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 4 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

hannaaaahr's page activity

Visits<b>Mr_Ziza</b> - the 09/02/2014 at 12:53pm<b>YouMadBra</b> - the 08/21/2014 at 1:38pm<b>sammiesorrow29</b> - the 08/21/2014 at 1:30am<b>WizardlyUnicorn</b> - the 08/11/2014 at 11:17pm<b>ilikeirony</b> - the 08/10/2014 at 12:19pm<b>The3BodyProblem</b> - the 08/06/2014 at 2:38pm<b>slimblack</b> - the 07/30/2014 at 1:48pm<b>mistake_mayhem</b> - the 07/30/2014 at 12:35am<b>colby6666</b> - the 07/12/2014 at 11:08am<b>dying_to_know</b> - the 06/18/2014 at 12:02pm<b>Caylee_G</b> - the 06/11/2014 at 10:45pm<b>miianah1</b> - the 06/01/2014 at 7:56am<b>Imacutiez</b> - the 05/29/2014 at 10:16pm<b>LynxieLynx</b> - the 05/27/2014 at 11:17pm<b>cats1116</b> - the 05/21/2014 at 2:04am<b>Zechgauer</b> - the 05/20/2014 at 11:38am<b>billionair11</b> - the 04/27/2014 at 6:01pm<b>mollypop35</b> - the 04/18/2014 at 11:57pm

hannaaaahr's FML badges

The Thumb returns

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Back from a party

An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.

See all of hannaaaahr's badges

hannaaaahr's favorite FMLs

Today, our dog jumped on the bed while my fiancé and I were having sex, and let out the most horrific fart. My fiancé, like a gentleman, held my nose closed while he continued banging me. FML

Today, my psychopathic ex-girlfriend spray-painted "Free Candy" on the side of my van, knowing damn well I have to park it in front of an elementary school on a daily basis to pick up my daughter. FML

#20532616
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40935) - you deserved it (3856)

On 03/05/2013 at 7:07pm - kids - by cjw - United States

Today, I had to help my little sister do a first-grade project for school. For one part, they have to draw a picture of their role model. She drew a whale, and I asked, "A whale is your role model?" She laughed and said, "No! It's you!" FML

#20532338
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35816) - you deserved it (5422)

On 03/05/2013 at 3:19pm - kids - by peace out - United States (South Carolina)

Today, while working, I thought, "I wish my kittens could text so I can talk to them throughout the day." And then I realized, I'm that cat lady you read about. FML

#20532138
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31859) - you deserved it (12517)

On 03/05/2013 at 11:13am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Vermont)

Today, I was walking through my town when a man on a bicycle rolled up to me and said, "I don't mean this offensively but you're really well-built." I don't know whether he was commenting on my height or comparing me to a shed, but my mother won't stop laughing. FML

#20531997
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23624) - you deserved it (2801)

On 03/05/2013 at 7:20am - misc - by apparently-a-shed (woman) - United Kingdom (Worcestershire)

Today, my wife finally came home from deployment. Apparently, in the military she really built up some muscle. When she saw me at the airport, she picked me up like a baby and spun me around in her arms a few times. I'm a little scared of her now. FML

#20530533
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38927) - you deserved it (9413)

On 03/04/2013 at 2:36am - love - by married to wonder woman (man) - United States (California)

Today, I sent my girlfriend a text saying, "Your the best girlfriend any man could have, and I think I may be in love with you." Ten minutes later, she responded with, "*you're". FML

#20530358
183 comments

Today, while mopping floors at the police station, an inmate pissed on the floor, demanded that I suck his dick, begged me for a glass of water and finally informed me that he would kill my family. I said nothing and he started weeping softly. I laughed, but slipped in his piss and broke my arm. FML

#20529783
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37047) - you deserved it (12422)

On 03/03/2013 at 5:21pm - work - by JimmyT (man) - Norway (Hordaland)

Today, in the middle of sex, my girlfriend asked me, "Are you sure you're a guy?" I still have no idea what that was for. FML

#20529151
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44940) - you deserved it (5781)

On 03/03/2013 at 7:17am - intimacy - by Ihatemylife (man) - Slovenia (Bohinj)

Today, I was at my class's band concert. Before the curtain was raised, I helped haul the piano to a different spot so a girl who would've had to stand behind it could be seen. I said, "There, now your mom can see you play!" She responded with, "My mom's blind." FML

#20527693
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34134) - you deserved it (3617)

On 03/02/2013 at 1:22am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, my wife packed my lunch. Inside of my lunchbox was a photo of her eating my sandwiches. FML

#20526564
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35391) - you deserved it (6786)

On 03/01/2013 at 2:18am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I stole a pen from the doctor's office while she wasn't looking. Later on at work, I idly pulled the pen out during a meeting. My colleague looked at me, horrified. The pen had the words "minimally invasive gynecological surgery" emblazoned on it. I'm a man. FML

#20516811
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6915) - you deserved it (45323)

On 02/21/2013 at 9:56pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I heard a commercial for a great apartment complex. Includes food, snacks, entertainment, activities, cleaning service, and transportation services if you cannot drive yourself. I was really excited until the end when they repeated the name; too bad my perfect place is a senior center. FML

#20514672
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23291) - you deserved it (7706)

On 02/20/2013 at 8:54am - misc - by kryan012 - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was at a club when a notoriously desperate and disgusting guy asked me to grind with him. Hoping for some backup, I coolly said, "You'll have to ask my boyfriend." My boyfriend's response? "Yeah, man, I don't care." FML

#20513337
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33275) - you deserved it (7658)

On 02/19/2013 at 10:27am - misc - by really (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I walked into my dad straightening my dog's fur. His excuse? The dog needed to feel pretty. FML

#20513110
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29711) - you deserved it (4016)

On 02/19/2013 at 2:01am - animals - by xtammyle - Australia (Victoria)



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: