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hannaaaahr's favorite FMLs
Today, I saw my four-year-old son running around outside, and copying everything our dog was doing. I thought it was cute, so I went to grab the camera. When I went back outside, I saw my dog eating a dead rabbit, and my son doing the same. FML
by Anonymous / 12/13/2009 at 7:42pm / United States (Texas) / Kids
Today, my boyfriend and I had our parents over to our new apartment for the first time. We spent hours cleaning, cooking, and making sure everything was "parent-appropriate." Apparently we didn't notice the S and M catalog in the pile on our coffee table... but his mom sure did. FML
by sorrydad / 12/13/2009 at 1:55pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy
by Bill / 12/06/2009 at 3:28pm / United States (Minnesota) / Kids
Today, my dad and mom and I were going out to eat dinner. My dad wanted a romantic dinner just with my mom so he told me to make an excuse not to go. I did, which ended up as a huge fight, grounded and phone taken away. My dad just stood there in the background putting thumbs up. FML
by Yoooooo0 / 11/29/2009 at 1:10pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by Granmacathy / 11/29/2009 at 2:13am / United States (New York) / Kids
by Anonymous / 11/23/2009 at 5:13am / United States (South Carolina) / Love
by unsuspcted / 11/17/2009 at 5:58pm / United States (Georgia) / Kids
Today, someone at work was bragging that their son was high school valedictorian and offered a full college scholarship. 7 years ago, I was also valedictorian and got that same scholarship. All I said was, "Congratulations. Did you want fries with that?" and continued taking their order. FML
by John / 11/07/2009 at 11:04am / United States (District of Columbia) / Work
by Anonymous / 11/05/2009 at 12:28pm / United States (Washington) / Transportation
Today, I took a box of Halloween decorations down from the attic. Inside, were a bunch of fake spiders. I emptied the box onto the floor and the "fake" spiders crawled all over the living room in opposite directions. FML
by Halloweenie / 10/16/2009 at 4:44am / United States (Hawaii) / Animals
Today, I was playing FarmTown and got into a fight with a 14 year old boy. I threatened him with physical violence, and he reported me. I'm 23 years old and got banned from a virtual farming game for threatening children. FML
by hatelittleboys / 10/15/2009 at 1:04pm / United States (Colorado) / Kids
Today, I had to take a dump. While looking for a book to read, I sneezed. The force of the sneeze caused me to shit my pants. The glob of dung then ran down my leg before falling out of my shorts onto my carpet, all in less than 5 seconds. Nothing in my life has prepared me for this. FML
by Anonymous / 10/14/2009 at 1:01pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
by kissless / 10/10/2009 at 3:04pm / United States (Maine) / Love
Today, in the middle of an exam, I was escorted out by the campus police due to suspicion of a concealed weapon. The officers couldn't stop laughing for 20 minutes when they found out the weapon was metal knitting needles. FML
by dangerousknitter / 10/07/2009 at 8:38pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was walking my dog when, as usual, he did his business in the grass and stepped off to the side. I squatted and reached for the bag when my dog spotted another canine. He lunged forward in excitement and I landed face forward in the feces. FML
by gera3gera / 10/06/2009 at 10:07pm / United States (California) / Animals