About hannaaaahr : I'm not funny, just ironic and mean.
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Today, I went to the pool. When I hit the water the top of my swimsuit came off so I tried to put it on underwater. The lifeguard thought I was drowning and pulled me out in front of everyone. Topless. FML
I agree, your life sucks (54035) - you deserved it (4263)
On 06/02/2009 at 3:10pm - misc - by Higgs (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, my friend paypal'd me some money to tide me over until my school loans come through. For a transaction description, he wrote "to get back in that pussy game." It got red flagged, and I had to talk with three female customer service agents before it went through. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32717) - you deserved it (3020)
On 05/29/2009 at 9:15am - money - by Jordan (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, after a night of drinking, I woke up with some chips in my bed. I thought it was funny so I went to tell my roommate. Her response was, "That's so funny! It's a typical night out for the two of us. I wake up the next morning with a boy in my bed and you wake up with food in yours." FML
I agree, your life sucks (54597) - you deserved it (9938)
On 05/21/2009 at 8:18pm - intimacy - by screwed (woman) - United States
Today, I got a call saying that my son was chasing all the girls in the class with his "Sword of Death", otherwise known as my dildo. FML
I agree, your life sucks (75268) - you deserved it (35496)
On 05/21/2009 at 3:18pm - intimacy - by a (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)
Today, I got a call saying that my son was chasing all the girls in the class with his "Sword of Death", otherwise known as my dildo. FML
I agree, your life sucks (75268) - you deserved it (35496)
On 05/21/2009 at 3:18pm - intimacy - by a (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)
Today, my boss came storming towards me, screaming just how tired she is with my constant bullshit. Already pissed off, I retorted that she's a bitch and should go lose some pounds. Turns out she was talking to her husband on her bluetooth headset. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16806) - you deserved it (62564)
On 05/21/2009 at 3:16pm - work - by unemployed (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I had my first job interview and didn't have much of an appetite because of the nerves. So I grabbed a brownie that my roommate had left in the fridge and ate it on the train ride in to the city. About 20 minutes into my interview I was so stoned I couldn't speak. FML
I agree, your life sucks (140481) - you deserved it (32113)
On 05/02/2009 at 2:28am - work - by Dunzo15 (man) - United States (New York)
Today, my boyfriend and I were laying naked in my bed making out. All of a sudden, we hear "pop goes the weasel" outside my house. My boyfriend stops and excitedly says, "ICE CREAM MAN", flips me over, grabs his clothes, and runs out of my room. FML
I agree, your life sucks (88926) - you deserved it (14370)
On 04/30/2009 at 8:15am - intimacy - by soooyeah (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I came home from work and went to open the door. I Iooked in the window and saw a man in my house. Terrified, I called the police. They came, searched the house, and found nothing missing. I went back inside and looked through the window and saw him again. It was my reflection. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8765) - you deserved it (57242)
On 04/29/2009 at 7:12pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was on the subway and saw this cute guy eyeing me. I crossed my legs, tossed back my hair, and raised my eyebrows slightly. As he came up to me, my heart started racing until he finally started flirting... with the girl next to me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41952) - you deserved it (8144)
On 04/29/2009 at 6:12am - love - by fmylifebad (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I got pulled over for speeding. I started fixing my hair and unbuttoning a couple of buttons on my shirt, hoping the policeman would let me off with a warning. When he got to the car, he rolled his eyes and muttered something under his breath. I saw him walk back to the cop car gagging. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8928) - you deserved it (58969)
On 04/25/2009 at 9:51am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Alabama)
Today, I got a text from my girlfriend saying she needed more phone credit, so I bought her more and got another message saying "Great, now I have enough credit for this..." as she spelled out a three page message breaking up with me. Yes, I paid for her to break up with me via text. FML
I agree, your life sucks (64871) - you deserved it (5592)
On 04/22/2009 at 11:26am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I told my morbidly obese teacher that he had mustard on his chin. He tried to wipe it off and I said without thinking "No, your other chin." FML
I agree, your life sucks (30740) - you deserved it (75086)
On 04/21/2009 at 1:42am - misc - by anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was giving a presentation to a group of high school kids about how being 'cool' wasn't as important as they might think. When I was done I asked for questions. A kid says, "Miss, I get that you're not into being cool, but you're wearing your pants inside out.' He was right. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35595) - you deserved it (20881)
On 04/20/2009 at 8:21am - misc - by indi1011 (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I bought a brand new flat screen TV. When I brought it home it didn't work. Furious, I walked into Best Buy and yelled at a guy in a tucked in blue polo and khakis. I asked him why it didn't work and he said he didn't know. I kept screaming. He didn't have a nametag. He didn't work there. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8873) - you deserved it (89000)
On 04/18/2009 at 10:44pm - misc - by asdfghjkl (man) - United States (Ohio)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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