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hannaaaahr's favorite FMLs
Today, my wife and I were planning our nursery for our future child. She said that we'd be painting it pink either way. I asked what would happen if we had a boy. She said "Oh, he'll be gay" with a menacing glare. I'm worried. FML
by Worried / 04/16/2011 at 6:59am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous
by blower / 04/11/2011 at 12:01am / United States (Colorado) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 03/22/2011 at 10:59am / United States (California) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 03/21/2011 at 1:32pm / United Kingdom (Wiltshire) / Geek
Today, my father came over to my house. I realized there were condoms on the table, so I subtly moved a vase to hide them. He then gave me an unamused look and said "I know you have sex. You've been married for nine years. Grow the fuck up, dumbass." FML
by Anonymous / 03/17/2011 at 7:52pm / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy
by Albert06 / 03/14/2011 at 5:26pm / France / Love
Today, I made plans with an old friend that I haven't seen in years. We agreed to meet at a diner and I told him I'd be standing outside. I watched him pull up, look right at me, then do something with his phone. Seconds later, I got a text saying "Sorry, but I'm busy today and can't make it." FML
by Angela / 02/26/2011 at 8:56pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I had my buddies over for a few beers and, trying to be cool, I told my wife to get out of the living room and back in the kitchen. I felt smug, right up until she said, "Why? Your mom doesn't need to be turned over for another 20 minutes, dick." FML
by :/ / 02/20/2011 at 1:44pm / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 02/19/2011 at 9:51am / Ireland (Dublin) / Miscellaneous
Today, I got a ticket for vandalizing public property. I decided to draw a cat on the street outside my house in sidewalk chalk. I'm 20, and I have to explain to my parents why I'm playing with chalk instead of studying. FML
by AliRocks / 02/15/2011 at 2:03pm / United States (California) / Animals
Today, as I went into my calculus class, the teacher announced that someone had received a negative grade on the test we were getting back. I laughed and said, "Which f*cker managed to get a negative?" Turns out I'm the dumbass. FML
by terrible kenny / 01/30/2011 at 4:24am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
Today, a cop pulled me over because there was a sign hidden behind a tree that said "No left turn". As I was getting my ticket, I watched as three cars turned left. The cop saw them, laughed, and said, "I guess you're the unlucky one." FML
by copper / 01/29/2011 at 9:20pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
- Today, when I returned from holiday, I discovered my best friend taught my parrot dirty phrases for… Today, I heard my sister gagging in her room. She was doing it quietly, and I got pretty concerned,… Today, I saw an attractive man outside the club I was trying to get into to. We talked, and ended…