About hannaaaahr : I'm not funny, just ironic and mean.
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Today, I was sitting on the couch with my 5 year old on my lap. All of a sudden, she turned to me and said, "Daddy, I love your boobies. They're a good pillow." My own kid just called me fat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18556) - you deserved it (12428)
On 12/06/2009 at 3:28pm - kids - by Bill (man) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, my dad and mom and I were going out to eat dinner. My dad wanted a romantic dinner just with my mom so he told me to make an excuse not to go. I did, which ended up as a huge fight, grounded and phone taken away. My dad just stood there in the background putting thumbs up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30413) - you deserved it (2423)
On 11/29/2009 at 1:10pm - misc - by Yoooooo0 (woman) - United States
Today, my grandson asked how old I am and whether I'd seen Mammoths "for real" when I was a kid. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23925) - you deserved it (3599)
On 11/29/2009 at 2:13am - kids - by Granmacathy (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I found out that some men think it's ok to clip their fingernails, at the table, in a restaurant, on a first date. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30507) - you deserved it (1884)
On 11/23/2009 at 5:13am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (South Carolina)
Today, my son told me to grow a pair and ask my girlfriend of a year and a half to marry me. He is 7 years old. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9076) - you deserved it (23944)
On 11/17/2009 at 5:58pm - kids - by unsuspcted (man) - United States (Georgia)
Today, someone at work was bragging that their son was high school valedictorian and offered a full college scholarship. 7 years ago, I was also valedictorian and got that same scholarship. All I said was, "Congratulations. Did you want fries with that?" and continued taking their order. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31287) - you deserved it (5118)
On 11/07/2009 at 11:04am - work - by John (man) - United States (District of Columbia)
I agree, your life sucks (25427) - you deserved it (3307)
On 11/05/2009 at 12:28pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I took a box of Halloween decorations down from the attic. Inside, were a bunch of fake spiders. I emptied the box onto the floor and the "fake" spiders crawled all over the living room in opposite directions. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30736) - you deserved it (505)
On 10/16/2009 at 4:44am - animals - by Halloweenie (man) - United States (Hawaii)
Today, I was playing FarmTown and got into a fight with a 14 year old boy. I threatened him with physical violence, and he reported me. I'm 23 years old and got banned from a virtual farming game for threatening children. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5226) - you deserved it (41323)
On 10/15/2009 at 1:04pm - kids - by hatelittleboys (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I had to take a dump. While looking for a book to read, I sneezed. The force of the sneeze caused me to shit my pants. The glob of dung then ran down my leg before falling out of my shorts onto my carpet, all in less than 5 seconds. Nothing in my life has prepared me for this. FML
I agree, your life sucks (75036) - you deserved it (10606)
On 10/14/2009 at 1:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, my boyfriend left for a month-long trip with his buddies. I stood near the door waiting for a goodbye kiss. He kissed his xbox goodbye instead. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29701) - you deserved it (4059)
On 10/10/2009 at 3:04pm - love - by kissless (woman) - United States (Maine)
Today, in the middle of an exam, I was escorted out by the campus police due to suspicion of a concealed weapon. The officers couldn't stop laughing for 20 minutes when they found out the weapon was metal knitting needles. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24483) - you deserved it (2491)
On 10/07/2009 at 8:38pm - misc - by dangerousknitter (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was walking my dog when, as usual, he did his business in the grass and stepped off to the side. I squatted and reached for the bag when my dog spotted another canine. He lunged forward in excitement and I landed face forward in the feces. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31274) - you deserved it (2676)
On 10/06/2009 at 10:07pm - animals - by gera3gera - United States (California)
Today, I got an email from the company that manages my Cat's microchip informing me that I had to update my information that had been entered by the local Humane Society. Apparently, they listed my cat "Coral" as the owner, and me as the pet. To change it, they needed the cat's signature. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40789) - you deserved it (2979)
On 10/05/2009 at 3:23pm - animals - by APetsPet (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I was sitting around a bonfire when an ember landed on my crotch. Without thinking, I quickly slapped at it and hit myself square in the nuts. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9485) - you deserved it (26681)
On 10/05/2009 at 12:16am - health - by Painful (man) - United States (Minnesota)
Friday 24 May 2013
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