About hannaaaahr : I'm not funny, just ironic and mean.
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Today, my wife and I were planning our nursery for our future child. She said that we'd be painting it pink either way. I asked what would happen if we had a boy. She said "Oh, he'll be gay" with a menacing glare. I'm worried. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32622) - you deserved it (4966)
On 04/16/2011 at 6:59am - misc - by Worried (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, my boyfriend actually remembered our anniversary. Not our anniversary of being together, which he forgot last month, but the anniversary of him getting his first blow job from me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33624) - you deserved it (8016)
On 04/11/2011 at 12:01am - intimacy - by blower - United States (Colorado)
Today, I was at a grocery store with my 3 year old son. As I was picking a cereal out, an older man comes over and says, "You should have used condoms. What an ugly boy." FML
I agree, your life sucks (52675) - you deserved it (5337)
On 04/03/2011 at 10:47pm - kids - by ravenskater -
Today, I was waiting for the bus while wearing my FML shirt. A passer-by stopped, stared at me for a moment, and said, "I agree, your life sucks." FML
I agree, your life sucks (22264) - you deserved it (42454) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 03/28/2011 at 9:51am - misc - by Danou - Sent from mobile version
Today, my wife created a "Points Reward" system for the privilege of sex. 10 points for doing the dishes, 20 for the laundry, etc. How many points do I need before I can have sex with her? 2300. FML
I agree, your life sucks (62311) - you deserved it (11803)
On 03/22/2011 at 10:59am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
TODAY, I PRESSED CAPS LOCK ON MY LAPTOP AND THE KEY GOT STUCK. NOW ALL OF MY LETTERS ARE IN CAPITAL LETTERS. I HAVE TRIED EVERYTHING. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30174) - you deserved it (24886)
On 03/21/2011 at 1:32pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Wiltshire)
Today, my father came over to my house. I realized there were condoms on the table, so I subtly moved a vase to hide them. He then gave me an unamused look and said "I know you have sex. You've been married for nine years. Grow the fuck up, dumbass." FML
I agree, your life sucks (14055) - you deserved it (64618)
On 03/17/2011 at 7:52pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I showed my colleagues how I could switch on my webcam at home from the office. That's how we all found out my wife is cheating on me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (88785) - you deserved it (4720) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me for not letting her keep the 75 cents that she stole from my truck. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15568) - you deserved it (35104)
On 02/27/2011 at 10:23pm - money - by Anonymous -
Today, I made plans with an old friend that I haven't seen in years. We agreed to meet at a diner and I told him I'd be standing outside. I watched him pull up, look right at me, then do something with his phone. Seconds later, I got a text saying "Sorry, but I'm busy today and can't make it." FML
I agree, your life sucks (26765) - you deserved it (2367)
On 02/26/2011 at 8:56pm - misc - by Angela (woman) - United States
Today, I had my buddies over for a few beers and, trying to be cool, I told my wife to get out of the living room and back in the kitchen. I felt smug, right up until she said, "Why? Your mom doesn't need to be turned over for another 20 minutes, dick." FML
I agree, your life sucks (5535) - you deserved it (83532)
Today, I gave a safe sex speech to teens at my local high school. This was just ten minutes after my girlfriend had texted me, telling me she's pregnant. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9334) - you deserved it (32372)
On 02/19/2011 at 9:51am - misc - by Anonymous - Ireland (Dublin)
Today, I got a ticket for vandalizing public property. I decided to draw a cat on the street outside my house in sidewalk chalk. I'm 20, and I have to explain to my parents why I'm playing with chalk instead of studying. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11876) - you deserved it (16628)
On 02/15/2011 at 2:03pm - animals - by AliRocks (woman) - United States (California)
Today, as I went into my calculus class, the teacher announced that someone had received a negative grade on the test we were getting back. I laughed and said, "Which f*cker managed to get a negative?" Turns out I'm the dumbass. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7245) - you deserved it (41211)
On 01/30/2011 at 4:24am - misc - by terrible kenny - United States (New York)
Today, a cop pulled me over because there was a sign hidden behind a tree that said "No left turn". As I was getting my ticket, I watched as three cars turned left. The cop saw them, laughed, and said, "I guess you're the unlucky one." FML
I agree, your life sucks (31682) - you deserved it (2429)
On 01/29/2011 at 9:20pm - misc - by copper - United States (Texas)
Friday 24 May 2013
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