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hannaaaahr's favorite FMLs
Today, while I was peacefully sleeping, I felt a hand suddenly slap my forehead. Then fingers began to press against my mouth, then nose, then eyes. I finally woke up to my girlfriend laughing hysterically. She'd confused me with her clock-radio. FML
by Anonymous / 01/15/2012 at 4:44am / United States (Oklahoma) / Transportation
by anonymous / 01/13/2012 at 12:05am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous
by Nate / 01/12/2012 at 12:36am / United States / Love
by YOURMOM / 12/31/2011 at 2:24am / United States (California) / Animals
by cj123 / 12/23/2011 at 3:43am / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous
Today, while waiting for my train, I was listening to a voicemail message on my phone. Out of nowhere, a stranger came up to me from behind and screamed "DELETE!" into my ear. His voice command deleted my message. FML
by anna / 12/22/2011 at 4:25pm / France / Miscellaneous
Today, it was my first day working as a nightclub bartender. All through the evening, a really creepy bloke stood in a dark corner and leered at the girls on the dance floor. When I took the bouncer to one side to let him know, he told me the man was a coat stand. FML
by Bob smith / 12/19/2011 at 3:57pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Work
Today, after rocking my one-year old daughter for nearly two hours, she finally fell asleep. As I went to leave her room, I stubbed my toe. I now have a broken toe, a screaming child, and a wife who will be so proud that her daughter's first word is "FUCK!" FML
by DocBastard / 12/16/2011 at 9:29pm / United States / Kids
Today, the heating in my house broke down. I called my boyfriend and asked if I could stay at his place until I could get it fixed. He said no, and told me my overgrown leg hair would keep me warm. FML
by Anonymous / 12/16/2011 at 3:11pm / Sweden (Hallands Lan) / Love
by metallicatime / 12/15/2011 at 10:16pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
by jackgrant / 12/06/2011 at 8:01pm / Iran Islamic Republic of / Miscellaneous
by no low five / 11/30/2011 at 6:17am / United States / Love
Today, I was looking through some old family pictures for a scrapbook I'm making. I found images of my dad passed out in his underwear, my great-grandpa having a drunken bath, and an unidentified moustachioed man sitting on the toilet, giving the photographer the finger. FML
by Meowingtons500 / 11/27/2011 at 11:02pm / Canada (Saskatchewan) / Miscellaneous
by yollew / 11/25/2011 at 1:27am / United States (Oregon) / Health
- 1Today, after two weeks of trying to convince my parents to go to my high school graduation. They… 2Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 3Today, my flatmate came home from a date with the same guy that I have been in love with since high…