Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

hallix

Offline (yesterday at 11:29am) | Search for a member

hallix

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 1 May 1997 (17 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1777
  • Number of comments : 99
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 38 posted

About hallix : I always fall in love with fictional characters. And then they die.

hallix's page activity

Visits<b>MyNameIsEmma</b> - 11 hours ago<b>Elgaard</b> - the 07/26/2014 at 3:39am<b>curticus</b> - the 07/25/2014 at 5:31pm<b>jamescrazy96</b> - the 07/07/2014 at 5:48pm<b>1two3four5six</b> - the 06/28/2014 at 1:05am<b>mysadlyfe</b> - the 06/26/2014 at 5:54pm<b>katherinebby17</b> - the 06/20/2014 at 8:11am<b>B4rn3yST1NSON</b> - the 06/04/2014 at 7:00am<b>MrsWinchester</b> - the 05/25/2014 at 6:03pm<b>cakefete2</b> - the 05/05/2014 at 9:21pm<b>conman531</b> - the 05/01/2014 at 3:09pm<b>straww</b> - the 04/25/2014 at 6:34am<b>thatsawkward7</b> - the 03/26/2014 at 1:24am<b>the_rude_dude</b> - the 03/25/2014 at 10:38pm<b>Erandus</b> - the 03/25/2014 at 10:01pm<b>SmokeyBear420</b> - the 03/14/2014 at 12:10am<b>CandyDawg</b> - the 02/20/2014 at 11:16pm<b>annihil8or</b> - the 02/20/2014 at 1:09am

hallix's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Back from a party

An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.

50 quality responses

Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.

See all of hallix's badges

hallix's favorite FMLs

Today, I accidentally said the wrong name during sex. That name just happened to be "Sarah", which is both my ex-girlfriend's name and my wife's sister's name. When she asked me which one I meant, I panicked and said, "Both." FML

#21140956
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32371) - you deserved it (51849)

On 05/15/2014 at 6:57pm - intimacy - by FLIPmcCOOL - Ireland (Cork)

Today, I'm moving. While packing, I realized I hadn't seen my cat in a few hours. I called her and realized she was inside one of the hundreds of boxes in my house. I accidentally packed my cat. FML

#21139824
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41023) - you deserved it (15309)

On 05/14/2014 at 4:43pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I was at my retail job and we had to change the mannequin's outfit. I had to hold her while my manager grabbed the new outfit. I rested my head on her naked plastic chest, and it was the closest I've got to affection in years. FML

#21138983
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41888) - you deserved it (6575)

On 05/13/2014 at 7:42pm - work - by imaginationdarling (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, a guy asked for my number at the grocery store, but I politely told him I wasn't interested. He followed me home and took a shit on my doorstep. FML

#21137065
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51707) - you deserved it (7182)

On 05/11/2014 at 8:14pm - love - by Anonymous - New Zealand (Hawke's Bay)

Today, after a long day at work, I was starving, so I stopped by the drive-through for something to eat. When I got home and hurriedly opened the bag, all I found inside was napkins. Thanks, McDonald's. FML

#21136073
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41870) - you deserved it (10055)

On 05/10/2014 at 9:34pm - work - by can't eat paper - United States

Today, I saw a cute guy and decided to say hi. As I started to think about things to talk about, one story in particular about a drummer who looked like Jesus stuck out in my mind. I was so nervous that instead of saying hi, I blurted out, "Some people look like Jesus!" and took off. FML

Today, my guide dog sneezed so hard that it slammed its head on the floor and knocked itself out. I have to trust this dog with my life. FML

#21117679
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50450) - you deserved it (4431)

On 04/20/2014 at 12:03am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Idaho)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex and in the heat of the moment I cried out for him to go harder. He had an exasperated expression on his face, and in an adamantly offended tone he said, "Don't tell me what to do." Then he stopped and left the room. FML

#21115855
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55698) - you deserved it (7798)

On 04/17/2014 at 10:27pm - intimacy - by belljars (woman) - United States (California)

Today, 30 minutes after finishing a great date with a great girl, she texted me and said, "Yeah, uh, never come near me again." FML

#21112056
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42209) - you deserved it (5533)

On 04/13/2014 at 4:33pm - love - by lax22 - United States (California)

Today, things were getting heated with the girlfriend. We were mostly naked, but mostly wouldn't do, so I kissed her deeply and whispered into her ear, "You should lose some weight". Clothes. I meant to say clothes. FML

Today, my girlfriend and I were snuggling and we placed our hands together, palm to palm. I can bend the tips of my fingers over hers, which apparently surprised her because she commented, "Huh, so big hands AREN'T related to penis size." FML

#21101616
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53339) - you deserved it (6814)

On 04/01/2014 at 2:06am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I thought it would be funny to smack my daughter's head gently with a balloon. It hit her hair clip and exploded. She won't stop crying, and my wife will be home any minute. I'm screwed. FML

#21100295
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41197) - you deserved it (17863)

On 03/30/2014 at 4:36pm - kids - by and not even in the good way (man) - United States

Today, I wanted to try seducing my boyfriend by having nothing but a t-shirt on for when he'd get back from work. He came home, saw me, apologized bashfully for failing to knock first, and went back outside. FML

#21097985
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42686) - you deserved it (6406)

On 03/27/2014 at 7:10pm - love - by oops (woman) - United States (California)

Today, after finishing an essay at the library, I fell asleep and had a dream about the essay crawling out through my laptop screen and trying to kill me. I woke by the librarian shaking me and telling me to stop screaming. I was mortified. FML

#21091737
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38136) - you deserved it (4309)

On 03/20/2014 at 12:48pm - work - by systematicpanic (woman) - United Kingdom (Leicester)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #2: In slow-moving hell
  • It was once a dream, now it’s come true. We’re at the place that was allocated months ago for preprogrammed, enforced holiday fun time. We’ve put on some cargo shorts, slipped on some of those…

Wednesday 13 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: