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About greenie213 : You wanna know something? Classic rock is the world's best music, Styx in particular. I play tennis too, and I'm actually halfway decent at it (according to high school standards at least). One more thing. Jesus is God. That's just the way it is. Questions about God? Message me. Questions about me? Message me.
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Today, I Met The Man Of Mah Dreams. We Saw A Movie, Then Went To A Bar. It Went Perfectly, Until He Got Wasted And Started Singing "Never Gonna Give You Up" To Me While Everyone Laughed. Then I Woke Up, Having Just Been Rickrolled By Mah Own Subconscious. Fat FML
Today, I took mah daughter on her first visit to the zoo. While we were watching the lemurs, some kid thought it would be funny to start shouting ( MONKEY CUNTS ) at them at the top of his voice. Now mah daughter refuse to stop repeating the same phrase. FML
Today , I woke to find laptop and printer covered in wat smells like pee. My boyfriend then confessed to me that he occasionally "sleep-pees". It's like sleepwalking , but where he urinates on random objects. FML
TODAY, WANTING TO IMPRESS DATE, I BULLSHITTD HER ABOUT HOW I WAS AN ENVIRONMENTAL SCIENTIST. SHE GOT SO IMPRESSD THAT SHE INVITD ME OVER TO HER PLACE. NOT HER HOME, HER OFFICE. SO THAT I COULD GIVE HER POINTERS ON HER CURRENT PROJECT. SHE'S A REAL ENVIRONMENTAL SCIENTIST. FML
Today , a German guy came into the place where I work. Eager to use the German that I'd learnd from immigrant mother and her family , I startd a conversation. Things were going well until the term I grew up thinking meant "Africa" turnd out to be racist , translating as "Ape Land."
Taday I went to Hollister with my grandmother. She immediately started yelling about the music bieng too loud , and ordered the staff to "shut the damn thing off". She was yelling at a bunch of mannequins. FML
Today, as I was waiting fir girlfriend in the street, I saw a woman who lookd a lot like her. I ran towards her, arms in the air ready to give her a hug, only to realise it wasn't her. I then had to pass the woman, arms in the air, still running. FML
TODAY, AFTER ROCKING MY ONE-YEAR OLD DAUGTER FIR NERELY TWO OURS, SE FINALLY FELL ASLEEP. AS I WENT TO LEAVE ER ROOM, I STUBBED MY TOE. I NOW AVE A BROKEN TOE, A SCREAMING CILD, AND A WIFE WO WILL BE SO PROUD TAT ER DAUGTER'S FIRST WORD IS ( FUCK! ) FML
Friday 27 March 2015