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greenie213

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greenie213

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1644
  • Number of comments : 553
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 15 posted

About greenie213 : You wanna know something? Classic rock is the world's best music, Styx in particular. I play tennis too, and I'm actually halfway decent at it (according to high school standards at least). One more thing. Jesus is God. That's just the way it is. Questions about God? Message me. Questions about me? Message me.

greenie213's page activity

Visits<b>noik01</b> - the 12/06/2014 at 10:03pm<b>rocker_chick23</b> - the 11/22/2014 at 4:20pm<b>Ashd09</b> - the 11/19/2014 at 11:54am<b>NoirChartreux</b> - the 11/18/2014 at 4:05pm<b>AmazingFinger88</b> - the 11/12/2014 at 11:51pm<b>redneck_wolf</b> - the 11/09/2014 at 11:16pm<b>abattior</b> - the 10/22/2014 at 6:09pm<b>noahshane</b> - the 10/07/2014 at 7:12pm<b>De_Belgian</b> - the 09/12/2014 at 7:56pm<b>jerdang</b> - the 07/23/2014 at 10:41pm<b>abylenee_</b> - the 07/12/2014 at 11:03pm<b>fantasyworld</b> - the 06/27/2014 at 8:23am<b>ErzaScarlet</b> - the 06/24/2014 at 6:56am<b>noinspiration</b> - the 06/15/2014 at 8:27pm<b>deusetnatura</b> - the 06/12/2014 at 8:45pm<b>dafuck_15</b> - the 06/03/2014 at 2:59pm<b>Jenra</b> - the 05/27/2014 at 2:09am<b>adamant84</b> - the 05/26/2014 at 12:49am

greenie213's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

See all of greenie213's badges

greenie213's favorite FMLs

Today, while walking my dog at the park, I spotted my crush and said "Hi!" By not paying attention where I was going, I tripped and fell down. My dog started humping me. FML

#20544356
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39014) - you deserved it (5683)

On 03/15/2013 at 1:44am - misc - by fmlman - United States (Wyoming)

Today, my boyfriend, whom I haven't heard from in a whole month, turned up at my door because it was apparently "steak and blowjob day." FML

#20543142
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46153) - you deserved it (8051)

On 03/14/2013 at 5:02am - intimacy - by howaboutno (woman) - United States

Today, I discovered the "may have a laxative effect" warning on my sugar-free jelly beans should actually read "don't fart after consuming". FML

#20543064
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27855) - you deserved it (4942)

On 03/14/2013 at 2:21am - health - by Kimberpoo (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I met the man of my dreams. We saw a movie, then went to a bar. It went perfectly, until he got wasted and started singing "Never Gonna Give You Up" to me while everyone laughed. Then I woke up, having just been Rickrolled by my own subconscious. FML

#20540752
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33551) - you deserved it (5053)

On 03/12/2013 at 12:43pm - misc - by ShadowBox (man) - Netherlands (Gelderland)

Today, I took my daughter on her first visit to the zoo. While we were watching the lemurs, some kid thought it would be funny to start shouting "MONKEY CUNTS" at them at the top of his voice. Now my daughter refuses to stop repeating the same phrase. FML

#20540639
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29975) - you deserved it (2708)

On 03/12/2013 at 10:05am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I woke to find my laptop and printer covered in what smells like pee. My boyfriend then confessed to me that he occasionally "sleep-pees". It's like sleepwalking, but where he urinates on random objects. FML

#20538947
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31454) - you deserved it (2482)

On 03/11/2013 at 12:09am - misc - by marcymoo - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, after my coworker bought coffee for me for the fifth time, I thanked him and asked him why. Apparently it's the only way to get me to shut up in the morning so he can get work done. FML

#20534501
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10928) - you deserved it (33079)

On 03/07/2013 at 8:44am - work - by coffee - United States

Today, wanting to impress my date, I bullshitted her about how I was an environmental scientist. She got so impressed that she invited me over to her place. Not her home, her office. So that I could give her pointers on her current project. She's a real environmental scientist. FML

#20531914
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8848) - you deserved it (67988)

On 03/05/2013 at 3:48am - work - by is there a environmental scientist in the house? - United States (California)

Today, a German guy came into the place where I work. Eager to use the German that I'd learned from my immigrant mother and her family, I started a conversation. Things were going well until the term I grew up thinking meant "Africa" turned out to be racist, translating as "Ape Land." FML

#20523889
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27770) - you deserved it (3756)

On 02/26/2013 at 11:50pm - misc - by Jan (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I went to Hollister with my grandmother. She immediately started yelling about the music being too loud, and ordered the staff to "shut the damn thing off". She was yelling at a bunch of mannequins. FML

#20186953
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22444) - you deserved it (4085)

On 12/01/2012 at 5:53pm - misc - by time to put you down, gran (woman) - United States

Today, I heard of an inevitable world-wide bacon shortage on the news. FML

#20089182
395 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28585) - you deserved it (5051)

On 09/26/2012 at 2:57am - misc - by bacon lovers worst nightmare - United States (California)

Today, my mother found a hickey on my neck. Not believing that it was from the hungry 2-month-old child I was holding, she confronted my boyfriend about it. He promptly accused me of cheating. FML

#20086696
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24125) - you deserved it (2185)

On 09/24/2012 at 3:09pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, as a pizza delivery guy, I was forced to see yet another naked 200 pound teenage girl with a serious case of body acne. They're starting to give me nightmares. FML

#20081849
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26895) - you deserved it (3128)

On 09/21/2012 at 6:57am - work - by scarred for life - Canada (Ontario)

Today, after rocking my one-year old daughter for nearly two hours, she finally fell asleep. As I went to leave her room, I stubbed my toe. I now have a broken toe, a screaming child, and a wife who will be so proud that her daughter's first word is "FUCK!" FML



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