Search for a member

Offline (the 09/04/2014 at 5:28pm)



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 29 August 1991 (25 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1086
  • Number of comments : 163
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About goldenone : I'm here. what's up?

goldenone's page activity

Visits<b>FugitiveFridge</b> - the 06/10/2015 at 12:04pm<b>Adeptus_Astartes</b> - the 12/29/2014 at 8:15pm<b>w_introuble</b> - the 09/27/2014 at 12:03am<b>mcdekree</b> - the 02/23/2014 at 8:39pm<b>ben12114</b> - the 02/17/2014 at 8:12am<b>daphnedanielle</b> - the 01/07/2014 at 12:26pm<b>alexmac222</b> - the 12/27/2013 at 12:52am<b>hunteryager</b> - the 09/14/2013 at 11:19pm<b>Renzokuken4</b> - the 08/28/2013 at 11:32pm<b>Shellytullis1998</b> - the 04/29/2013 at 12:59am

goldenone's FML badges


You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

goldenone's favorite FMLs

Today, I sent my grandma a naked picture instead of my girlfriend. While attempting to delete it, I sent it again. FML

by me / 11/04/2011 at 12:38am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I met my new neighbor. His wi-fi access point is named "TheRapistDownstairs." FML

by creepedoutlady / 08/15/2011 at 8:30pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my boss sat me down to discuss the sounds my co-workers have heard coming from my cubicle. Apparently my music sounds like the background tracks from shitty soft-core porn movies. I'm getting a three day suspension while they go through all my files. FML

by ImScrewed / 08/02/2011 at 1:47pm / United States (California) / Work

Today, I skipped school and stayed home without telling my parents. My mom came home on her lunch break with another man, and had sex in our living room. I'm stuck in my room, listening to my mom cheat on my dad. FML

by ali grace / 05/14/2011 at 7:15am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I came home to find that all my porn magazines have been "censored" with a black sharpie. FML

by Username / 04/21/2011 at 2:30pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I decided to surprise my boyfriend by creating an account on Runescape; his favorite game. After finding him in-game, I started talking to him, not revealing who I was. After a while, I asked him if he had a girlfriend. He promptly said no and asked me for nude pics. FML

by Samyett / 02/09/2011 at 2:22pm / United States / Love

Today, my fiancé and I just moved into our first apartment together. Our neighbor across the hall? My ex-boyfriend who I've had to file three separate restraining orders on. FML

by ashdk / 01/28/2011 at 4:12am / Love

Today, I had to repeat my order in Starbucks three times because the barista was staring at my chest. FML

by Anonymous / 01/13/2011 at 11:30pm / Ireland / Intimacy

Today, I was in a store when a child looked at me and said to his mother "look at that tall man!" His mother replied "he's an evil giant isn't he, darling?" I then mimed being an evil giant to make the kid laugh. His mother slapped me. FML

by cganon / 09/21/2010 at 8:44am / United Kingdom / Kids

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend watching a home made sex tape he had previously made with his ex-girlfriend. What's worse than him jerking off to it? He was crying and hugging a pillow. FML

by Anonymous / 02/02/2010 at 10:40am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

Today, I had to take a dump. While looking for a book to read, I sneezed. The force of the sneeze caused me to shit my pants. The glob of dung then ran down my leg before falling out of my shorts onto my carpet, all in less than 5 seconds. Nothing in my life has prepared me for this. FML

by Anonymous / 10/14/2009 at 1:01pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that my sister who is 16 years older than me is actually my biological mother. She and my parents decided it was best that I didn't know who my real mother was, and to be raised by my grandparents as their child. I've always hated my sister. FML

by dinosaurman / 10/07/2009 at 12:07pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was playing one on one soccer with a girl like. I accidentally kicked the ball right into her face. The ball rolled back towards me and as I was running to see if she was ok, I kicked the ball... right into her face again. FML

by hyper12332 / 04/29/2009 at 10:35am / Australia (Victoria) / Love