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Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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goldenone

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goldenone
  • Town/Country : Houston, TX, USA
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 28 August 1991 (20 years)
  • Number of visits : 467
  • Number of comments : 156
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About goldenone : I'm here. what's up?

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goldenone's favorite FMLs

Today, I sent my grandma a naked picture instead of my girlfriend. While attempting to delete it, I sent it again. FML

#18153680 (178)

I agree, your life sucks (12195) - you deserved it (32168)

On 11/04/2011 at 12:38am - intimacy - by me (man) - United States (California)

Today, I met my new neighbor. His wi-fi access point is named "TheRapistDownstairs." FML

#17483730 (283)

I agree, your life sucks (11694) - you deserved it (1015)

On 08/15/2011 at 8:30pm - misc - by creepedoutlady - United States

Today, my boss sat me down to discuss the sounds my co-workers have heard coming from my cubicle. Apparently my music sounds like the background tracks from shitty soft-core porn movies. I'm getting a three day suspension while they go through all my files. FML

#17343796 (170)

I agree, your life sucks (8593) - you deserved it (1377)

On 08/02/2011 at 1:47pm - work - by ImScrewed (man) - United States (California)

Today, I skipped school and stayed home without telling my parents. My mom came home on her lunch break with another man, and had sex in our living room. I'm stuck in my room, listening to my mom cheat on my dad. FML

#16168666 (455)

I agree, your life sucks (81177) - you deserved it (8946)

On 05/14/2011 at 7:15am - intimacy - by ali grace - United States (Texas)

Today, I came home to find that all my porn magazines have been "censored" with a black sharpie. FML

#15874125 (354)

I agree, your life sucks (18554) - you deserved it (37538)

On 04/21/2011 at 2:30pm - intimacy - by Username - United States

Today, I decided to surprise my boyfriend by creating an account on Runescape; his favorite game. After finding him in-game, I started talking to him, not revealing who I was. After a while, I asked him if he had a girlfriend. He promptly said no and asked me for nude pics. FML

#14909703 (350)

I agree, your life sucks (41284) - you deserved it (9886)

On 02/09/2011 at 2:22pm - love - by Samyett (woman) - United States

Today, my fiancé and I just moved into our first apartment together. Our neighbor across the hall? My ex-boyfriend who I've had to file three separate restraining orders on. FML

#14740346 (109)

I agree, your life sucks (23343) - you deserved it (3465)

On 01/28/2011 at 4:12am - love - by ashdk -

Today, I had to repeat my order in Starbucks three times because the barista was staring at my chest. FML

#14572536 (225)

I agree, your life sucks (168) - you deserved it (7938)

On 01/13/2011 at 11:30pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Ireland

Today, I was in a store when a child looked at me and said to his mother "look at that tall man!" His mother replied "he's an evil giant isn't he, darling?" I then mimed being an evil giant to make the kid laugh. His mother slapped me. FML

#13140704 (153)

I agree, your life sucks (25963) - you deserved it (3195)

On 09/21/2010 at 8:44am - kids - by cganon - United Kingdom

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend watching a home made sex tape he had previously made with his ex-girlfriend. What's worse than him jerking off to it? He was crying and hugging a pillow. FML

#7811688 (253)

I agree, your life sucks (22566) - you deserved it (1688)

On 02/02/2010 at 10:40am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I had to take a dump. While looking for a book to read, I sneezed. The force of the sneeze caused me to shit my pants. The glob of dung then ran down my leg before falling out of my shorts onto my carpet, all in less than 5 seconds. Nothing in my life has prepared me for this. FML

#5828114 (225)

I agree, your life sucks (66548) - you deserved it (9416)

On 10/14/2009 at 1:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I found out that my sister who is 16 years older than me is actually my biological mother. She and my parents decided it was best that I didn't know who my real mother was, and to be raised by my grandparents as their child. I've always hated my sister. FML

#5701860 (314)

I agree, your life sucks (96383) - you deserved it (3835)

On 10/07/2009 at 12:07pm - misc - by dinosaurman (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was playing one on one soccer with a girl like. I accidentally kicked the ball right into her face. The ball rolled back towards me and as I was running to see if she was ok, I kicked the ball... right into her face again. FML

#1452410 (139)

I agree, your life sucks (52695) - you deserved it (21604)

On 04/29/2009 at 10:35am - misc - by hyper12332 (man) - Australia (Victoria)