global216

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global216

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2396
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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global216's page activity

Visits<b>maybeeiwill</b> - the 02/17/2015 at 6:51pm<b>Pstraka6</b> - the 02/25/2013 at 1:38am<b>Zmeilerr</b> - the 01/24/2011 at 2:25pm

global216's FML badges

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

See all of global216's badges

global216's favorite FMLs

Today, I found my favorite stuffed animal I had as a child in the trash bin. I took it out to find that it felt wet and smelt funny. Apparently, my younger brother cut a hole in the butt of it and used it to masturbate. FML

by Anonymous / 09/21/2010 at 6:07pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, while grocery shopping, my Dad asked me what I wanted for 'Din-Dins' while scratching his nuts. In a crowded aisle. Wearing short shorts. FML

by itchybollos / 09/16/2010 at 5:04am / Australia / Miscellaneous

Today, I was on the phone with my boyfriend who's sick, he told me he felt sleepy due to meds and was going to bed. I jokingly said, "you're going to call your other girlfriend, aren't you?" There was silence before I heard, "you weren't supposed to find out like this." FML

by Anonymous / 09/16/2010 at 12:12am / United States (Florida) / Love

Today, I met a new guy at work who would not stop hitting on me. We ended up on a six hour shift together watching a pool, so we were wearing nothing but bathing suits when he began grabbing me inappropriately. When I confided in my female coworker about it, she told me he was her husband. FML

by lifeguardlechery / 09/14/2010 at 12:15am / United States (Louisiana) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I came home to my wife crying. She had mixed up our newborn twin girls and couldn't tell which was which. I looked at the girls. Neither could I. FML

by uselessdad / 09/07/2010 at 7:48pm / Singapore / Kids

Today, in math class, I had the urge to fart. I had the bright idea that if I dropped my textbook and farted at the same time, nobody would hear it. I dropped my textbook, everyone looked at me, then I farted. Loudly. FML

by fartwoman / 06/22/2010 at 9:41pm / United States (California) / Health

Today, I got mugged by someone wearing a bear suit. FML

by mugged / 06/01/2010 at 7:41pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got mugged by someone wearing a bear suit. FML

by mugged / 06/01/2010 at 7:41pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I reached a new low and embarrased my entire family. While in the frozen section of Walmart, I dropped to my knees and let out a horrific, agonizing scream, when I found out they were out of Strawberry Toaster Strudels. FML

by Anonymous / 02/28/2010 at 2:17pm / United States (New York) / Love

Today, I found out I can sneak out of my house... but not back in. FML

by Anonymous / 02/27/2010 at 7:17am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out I can sneak out of my house... but not back in. FML

by Anonymous / 02/27/2010 at 7:17am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, I called a suicide prevention hotline. No one picked up. FML

by Anonymous / 01/24/2010 at 11:12am / United States (Virginia) / Health

Today, I woke up with my face sharpied. I live alone. FML

by Funnymann / 01/22/2010 at 3:51pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriends and I got a caricature painting while on a trip in the city. Unfortunately for me, the part of my appearance that the artist decided to exaggerate was my acne. FML

by fmylifegirl / 12/29/2009 at 3:59pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Health

Today, I came home from a year long backpacking trip in Europe. During my absence my parents divorced, dad took the house and most of the money, sister is seven months pregnant, brother was arrested for statutory rape, and my mom pawned all my stuff to buy booze to "cope." Oh, and my fish died. FML

by Anonymous / 12/28/2009 at 7:08am / United States (Washington) / Holidays