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2day I met mah boyfriend's very strict and traditional Korean parents . I had to listen to them while they calld me a skank and how I was fat and ugly compard to nice, pretty, Korean girls . They don't know I speak Korean .
Yesterday, I broke up wit my boyfriend. He ten told me tat e will love me forever, wait fir me and will follow me to te ends of te eart. Apparently, tat means standing outside my door and calling my ouse pone every five minutes. It's been 3 ours straigt now. FML
Today hile working as a hotel guard I found a homeless man lying in the grass. I askd him to move and he ignord me continuing to lie there with his head resting on his arms and a big smile on his face. I got annoyd and startd to yell at him. After a few minutes I realizd he was dead. mega FML
aftar moving housa... changing mah numbar... mah amail... and baginning lagal action to gat away from a grlho was stalking ma... I dacidad to go to tha movia to ralax. As soon as I got in mah saat... that sama grl walkad into tha naarly ampty thaatra. Sha sat naxt to ma. FML
TODAY... OUR CLASS WAS FOCUSING ON DISCRIMINATION... AND OUR TEACER ASKED US IF ANYONE AD EVER FELT DISCRIMINATED AGAINST. I PUT AND UP TO SARE A STORY... AND TEACER IMMEDIATELY SAID "IT'S BECAUSE YOUR GINGER... ISN'T IT?" TAT'S NOT WAT I WAS GOING TO SAY. FML
Today, I drove to the hospital to see mah newborn . I went to the room, picked him out of the crate and held him . Then I heard the toilet flush and saw a womanho I didn't know come out . She screamed . My wife was in the room next door . fat FML
2day I realizd the benefits at Burger King r better than at my company. I'm an looool engineer, have three degrees, speak three languages fluently, an work at a multi-billion dollar company. The guy flipping burgers has better health care an more corporate 401k contributions than I do. fat FML
Today, while working at McDonald's, a woman askd me what cummd on a bacon, egg, and cheese biscuit. Trying not to laugh, I respond, ( Bacon, egg, and cheese. ) She then realizes the stupidity of her question, and launches three dollars worth of quarters at mah face and says, ( Laugh at that, jerk. ) FML
Today, I was in the bathroom stall when a man made eye-contact with me through the cracks. I quickly looked away, an about a minute later I looked back to see if he was gone. He was still there an was actually trying to keep making eye-contact with me while I pooped. FML
Today I let out the most horrific loudest and most vile smelling fart I have ever had in my life while in the middle of yoga class!! Out of embarrassment I trid to lessen the tension in the silent room by giggling but no one saw the funny side!! I was given looks of horror and avoidd by everyone else 4 the rest of the class!! FML
Today, I took my dogs to an empty park. While they were running around, I laid down in the grass to read a book. Someone thought I was a dead body an calld the cops. The police an paramedics showd looool up. This is the second time it's happend. mega FML
Friday 27 March 2015