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Today, I saw a large spider carry away the body of a dead spider in the bathroom. In my anthropology class, we learned one of the first signs of civilization is caring for the dead. First, they become civilized, and next, they take over. I will never sleep again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20597) - you deserved it (3334)
On 06/30/2012 at 2:49am - animals - by BloodFaerie (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, while at work, I witnessed a kid empty his bladder all over the floor. His mother walked over, looked at me, said "yep... that just happened" and dragged him away. I'm a 30-year-old man, four credits shy of a Master's, stuck cleaning up piss at a dead-end job. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18068) - you deserved it (2270)
On 06/29/2012 at 7:12pm - kids - by ihatewalmart (man) - United States
Today, I stumbled across my ex's blog. Apparently, while dating me, he realized he was gay. Good to know the one guy I've dated, lost my virginity to, and fell in love with, was never truly attracted to me and was dating me just to be sure. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23387) - you deserved it (1709)
On 06/28/2012 at 11:28am - love - by FMlovelife (woman) - United States
Today, my dog was licking the dishes in the dishwasher when his collar got stuck on it. Then he got scared of the dishwasher rack following him and ran away really fast. Now I have no dishes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14392) - you deserved it (4413)
On 06/28/2012 at 1:20am - animals - by lala8940 - United States
Today, I was babysitting a four-year-old girl, when I came across a toy that sang the Macarena. For fun, I decided to teach her the dance. When she showed her parents, instead of putting her hands on her backside and turning, she decided to bend over and moon them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15573) - you deserved it (1803)
On 06/27/2012 at 4:48pm - kids - by fired (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)
Today, I slammed my middle finger in a drawer. I screamed and my mom came running into the kitchen. She asked me what was wrong, so without thinking I stuck up my middle finger. She hasn't spoken to me since this morning. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18699) - you deserved it (3830)
On 06/26/2012 at 2:05am - misc - by anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I noticed that my son only really looks like me when he's straining to take a dump. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13277) - you deserved it (2437)
On 06/23/2012 at 8:10pm - kids - by Gremlin (woman) - United Kingdom (Surrey)
Today, I met my biological parents for the first time. Their justification for giving me up for adoption was that I wasn't conceived at the ideal time for them. Apparently, the ideal time was six months after the adoption, when they conceived the first of my two brothers. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23609) - you deserved it (1229)
On 06/22/2012 at 5:13pm - kids - by pon-3 (man) - United Kingdom (Derby)
Today, after having been constipated for ages, I finally forced out a week's worth of build-up. The excruciating pain reduced me to tears, and my boyfriend refused to drive me to the hospital, because according to him, I must have had anal sex with someone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21229) - you deserved it (1771)
On 06/21/2012 at 1:43pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I found out from her teacher that my daughter in kindergarten gets the little boys in her class to play grown-ups with her. It's basically dry humping and groaning. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22545) - you deserved it (6177)
On 06/21/2012 at 1:40am - kids - by Bad Mommy - United States (California)
Today, I went to the gynecologist. As she was checking me out, she said, "Wow. So you must get wet a lot." It took me several minutes to realize she was talking about my job bathing dogs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17558) - you deserved it (2456)
On 06/20/2012 at 7:08pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I was so out of it from a lack of sleep and an accidental antihistamine overdose, I tried to offer my cat a cup of tea, and actually got pissed off when he didn't reply. It took me a good five minutes to understand what just happened. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16565) - you deserved it (4292)
On 06/20/2012 at 10:09am - animals - by anonymous - United Kingdom
Today, I was sent a letter by the vet, saying my cat was late for her yearly checkup. My cat died last week and I'd had her cremated by the same people who had sent the letter. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21965) - you deserved it (1401)
On 06/19/2012 at 10:15pm - animals - by jnr1234 - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I went to the circus with my family. When we were looking at the animals during the break, an elephant took my purse with his trunk and ate it. It crushed my cellphone, camera, keys and wallet. After that, the circus director yelled at me for feeding poisonous stuff to his elephant. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22594) - you deserved it (4125)
On 06/11/2012 at 3:14am - animals - by ILoveAnimals (woman) - Austria (Wien)
Today, my cat woke me up, but not by kneading on me though. Instead, she woke me up by pouncing on the laser pointer my dad was shining on my face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14448) - you deserved it (1453)
On 05/24/2012 at 5:18pm - animals - by XxEmoWolfiexX (woman) - United States (Indiana)
Monday 17 June 2013
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