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ghettosmurfz

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ghettosmurfz

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  • Number of visits : 149
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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ghettosmurfz's FML badges

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

ghettosmurfz's favorite FMLs

Today, just as I was about to orgasm, my boyfriend whispered, "Cum, my preciousssss" into my ear, in his scarily accurate Gollum voice. I think my clitoris just about withered away in despair. FML

#20165510
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34126) - you deserved it (3483)

On 11/16/2012 at 2:42pm - intimacy - by thanks, fuckface (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. I came back home in tears, and eventually told my dad what was wrong. He immediately excused himself to the living room, where I heard him tell my mum, "She's gone all Taylor Swift again." FML

#20159285
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21449) - you deserved it (10023)

On 11/11/2012 at 5:48pm - love - by notalovestory (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, my husband and I were told by our elderly neighbors that they can hear us having sex a lot. To top it off, the elderly man said while patting his wife's arm with a smile, "Carol used to make noises like that too, back in the day." FML

#20136326
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27918) - you deserved it (6246)

On 10/28/2012 at 12:06am - intimacy - by Ceej - United States (Michigan)

Today, a man with a clipboard came up to me in the street to ask me if I was happy with my life insurance. I couldn't bring myself to admit to him that I'm so clueless about my own life that I wasn't sure I was even happy with the Twix I was eating at the time. FML

#20095768
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15649) - you deserved it (3047)

On 09/30/2012 at 8:49pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I bought my nephew some giant green Incredible Hulk fists for his birthday. He thanked me by Hulk-smashing me in the nuts. FML

#20086472
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19703) - you deserved it (5665)

On 09/24/2012 at 10:33am - kids - by smashed (man) - United States

Today, I got mad at my 4 year old son for cussing me out. Afterwards, I went upstairs to get ready for the day. When I came back downstairs I found him pooping on my brand new leather couch. FML

#17880683
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26992) - you deserved it (10571)

On 10/01/2011 at 7:10pm - kids - by kewtness_17 - United States (Texas)

Today, my dog was scooped up by an owl. FML

#17115448
469 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54505) - you deserved it (9314)

On 07/15/2011 at 12:24am - animals - by flipnazn - United States (Texas)

Today, I stubbed my toe against the corner of my bed, causing me to gasp and moan in pain. My parents overheard, and now I'm getting the full coming of age talk and how I shouldn't lie about what I was doing. I didn't do anything. FML

#16071045
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41497) - you deserved it (4157)

On 05/06/2011 at 8:22pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my girlfriend kindly let me know that she didn't care that I am 'below average' in the penis department because it will leave her nice and tight for her next boyfriend. FML

#15948281
339 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65290) - you deserved it (7365)

On 04/27/2011 at 12:21pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I asked my boyfriend if there's a reason why he has never gone down on me. He responded, "Your back door is too close to your front door and it creeps me out." FML

#14048087
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31144) - you deserved it (4572)

On 12/01/2010 at 2:04pm - intimacy - by Username - United States

Today, my six-month-old daughter decided to explore my nose, and before I could stop her she shoved her thumb deep in there. She thought it was hilarious when blood started gushing down my shirt. My nose is agony to touch and I still had to clean her up first. FML

#13972455
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23655) - you deserved it (3417)

On 11/25/2010 at 8:28am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Derbyshire)

Today, my kitten decided that having diarrhea was not a good enough reason to stop running in circles around my living room. FML

#11123342
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32858) - you deserved it (3620)

On 06/11/2010 at 10:33am - health - by MegahnDN - United States

Today, I told my boyfriend that my period was now over three weeks late. He still doesn't believe me since it's April Fool's day. But I'm not kidding. FML

#9544188
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33336) - you deserved it (7587)

On 04/01/2010 at 4:28am - health - by worried (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I went to the pharmacy to purchase a brace for my sprained wrist. My wife and I had recently ran out of KY lotion, so I decided to pick up a bottle while I was there. It didn't occur to me that these two items could be perceived as being related until the cashier began to giggle. FML

#6285234
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24786) - you deserved it (5891)

On 11/13/2009 at 7:57am - misc - by joeheathen (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was talking to my best friend. After admitting to me that he's gay, I gave him a hug for support and comfort, feeling his erection on my upper thigh. FML

#5579419
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23557) - you deserved it (4754)

On 10/01/2009 at 2:10am - intimacy - by betchyo (man) - United States (Massachusetts) - moderated by Kevin Nealon



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