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funkymonkey475

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funkymonkey475

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Saturday 17 May 1997 (17 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 136
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Visits<b>Trollx</b> - the 01/22/2013 at 4:27pm

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funkymonkey475's favorite FMLs

Today, I was doing a design sketch for work. I snapped a pic and sent it to my boss. She replied, "Impressive. Nice sketch too." I was drawing at home, naked. My dick was in the picture. FML

Today, I returned to my teaching job at a local community college after surfing for the weekend. I'd got sunburned, one student immediately noticed and said to me, "Morning, Mr. Pinky!" Now they all do it. My students are assholes. I hate teaching. FML

#21209954
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38013) - you deserved it (7296)

On 07/15/2014 at 6:04pm - work - by mister_pinky (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I found a wasp in my kitchen, so I opened the back door and left the room for 10 minutes in the hope that it would fly away. Upon returning, I found that there were now three wasps, a vicious cat and a very panicked pigeon crashing around the room. FML

#21197738
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39800) - you deserved it (16607)

On 07/03/2014 at 8:27pm - animals - by Snow-White (man) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today, I sped off down the road, then realized to my horror that my cat was clinging to the roof of the car. FML

Today, I came home and saw my cat all snuggled up with another cat on the sofa. I thought it was the cutest thing ever, until I remembered that I only have one cat. FML

#21191841
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41450) - you deserved it (4595)

On 06/28/2014 at 8:09pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my son got a beating. Apparently, he went to a club, waited until he saw a couple of girls pulling a duckface for a photo, then rushed over and threw pieces of bread at them. Their boyfriends, not too surprisingly, didn't appreciate this. I had to drive the idiot home from the hospital. FML

#21190541
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42712) - you deserved it (6105)

On 06/27/2014 at 5:15pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was driving my 7-year-old daughter to school, when out of nowhere a bird smashed into the windshield. Instead of screaming or being traumatized by the gore like me, my daughter started laughing, eventually calling the bird a "stupid bastard". FML

#21190484
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45774) - you deserved it (8284)

On 06/27/2014 at 4:22pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Spain (Comunidad Valenciana)

Today, a customer called the restaurant I work at to ask if our coupons were always valid, or if they expired on the expiration date printed on them. FML

#21179816
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40066) - you deserved it (4519)

On 06/18/2014 at 8:58pm - work - by Shannon - United States (Michigan)

Today, my girlfriend found out you can use food coloring in anything. Everything she cooks is now in bright neon colors. I feel like I'm in a Dr Seuss book. FML

#20475517
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32106) - you deserved it (5470)

On 01/23/2013 at 8:44pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my boyfriend ended sex by yelling, "THIS IS SPARTA!" and using his foot to push me off the bed. FML

#20417691
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55337) - you deserved it (9846)

On 12/23/2012 at 11:55pm - intimacy - by Saradee (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was hit in the head by a golf ball. I wasn't near a golf course, and nobody was anywhere in sight. I'm still trying to figure out what happened. FML

#20403784
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35952) - you deserved it (3456)

On 12/17/2012 at 2:38pm - health - by wtf - United States

Today, at a Christmas party, my crush came up to me and cutely pointed out that I was standing under mistletoe. The only response my stupid brain could think of was, "Probably full of nargles though." He gave me a confused look and walked away. FML

#20402533
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27040) - you deserved it (12821)

On 12/16/2012 at 6:51pm - love - by Rhine (woman) - Barbados (Saint Michael)

Today, I ran into my infant daughter's room because I thought I heard her crying, and found she was still sound asleep in her crib. The screams were coming from the mouse our cat was using to paint her bedroom walls. FML

#20400604
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26386) - you deserved it (2010)

On 12/15/2012 at 10:55am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, after my girlfriend has recently become obsessed with the serial-killer show, Dexter, she has grown an interest in cutting up pomegranates in many different ways and squirting the red, blood-like juice everywhere. I am now afraid to argue with her. FML

#20400460
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25943) - you deserved it (2901)

On 12/15/2012 at 7:33am - love - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)



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