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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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freshjess

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freshjess
  • Town/Country : Orangeville, Canada
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 30 December 1989 (22 years)
  • Number of visits : 484
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About freshjess : Umm..
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freshjess's favorite FMLs

Today, I witnessed the miracle of life. More specifically, my cat giving birth on my bed at four in the morning. FML

#16359645 (255)

I agree, your life sucks (26224) - you deserved it (4969)

On 05/26/2011 at 5:03pm - animals - by KittenTime (woman) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, I stopped to help a stranded motorist. I yelled out my window, "Hey do you need a hand?" The guy was just standing beside his car taking a piss. FML

#16355450 (90)

I agree, your life sucks (21066) - you deserved it (4594)

On 05/26/2011 at 10:06am - misc - by Emoney1 - Canada

Today, I was woken up to my family surrounding me with breakfast in bed and sweet 16 balloons. My birthday is in 3 months, and I will be 17. FML

#14790484 (144)

I agree, your life sucks (28191) - you deserved it (2719)

On 01/31/2011 at 6:11pm - misc - by ad4 - United States (California)

Today, I confessed to my best friend that I love him and always have. He whispered to himself, "Why do the fat chicks always want me?" FML

#13873545 (210)

I agree, your life sucks (30524) - you deserved it (5857)

On 11/17/2010 at 3:03am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my mum and I decided to go on a hike. Beforehand we left my car at the end of the trail and took my mums car to the beginning. After 4 hours we arrived at my car. I had left my keys in mums car. It was a long walk back. FML

#13701882 (163)

I agree, your life sucks (5160) - you deserved it (15893)

On 11/03/2010 at 2:10pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (London)

Today, my boyfriend got mugged. I found out because the mugger had the courtesy to ring me, after I texted several times asking where he was, to say "He won't reply. He got robbed." FML

#13634930 (150)

I agree, your life sucks (21468) - you deserved it (1839)

On 10/29/2010 at 2:12am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, I went with my family to go see a notoriously creepy abandoned house. We noticed the people had left a lot of stuff behind so we loaded up the car with books, records, etc. As we were leaving, we saw the family who lived there drive up. I robbed a house with my grandma. FML

#12826740 (150)

I agree, your life sucks (6963) - you deserved it (29223)

On 08/30/2010 at 8:04pm - misc - by tikizombie (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I finally decided to do regular biology rather than honors biology, thinking honors would be too hard. My first day in regular biology, my lab partner asked me whether a rock was alive or not. FML

#12823481 (232)

I agree, your life sucks (22564) - you deserved it (7864)

On 08/30/2010 at 3:55pm - misc - by Shelby (woman) - United States (Illinois)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I took my brother and nieces to the zoo. Two of the lions at the exhibit were mating, so I said, "They're playing leap-frog." My 4-year-old niece said, "Looks like they're fucking to me." FML

#12663575 (276)

I agree, your life sucks (35968) - you deserved it (10383)

On 08/21/2010 at 12:49pm - intimacy - by mc_dreamy - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, while leaving a restaurant, a little boy grabbed onto my leg and screamed, "Mommy! Don't leave me!" Then he looked up at my face, said, "Ewww," and ran away screaming in fear. FML

#12649609 (180)

I agree, your life sucks (24494) - you deserved it (2793)

On 08/20/2010 at 6:36pm - misc - by superconfused16 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I went to give blood for the first time. When I sat down the guy said "First time?" I told him yes and he replied "Me too." FML

#12631880 (109)

I agree, your life sucks (25658) - you deserved it (2404)

On 08/19/2010 at 8:39pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was at the pool with two boys I baby sit. The eldest wouldn't get out of the pool so I pretended to call his dad. He then ran out of the pool, pushed me down, grabbed my phone, chucked it into the pool and then ran back into the pool. FML

#12498801 (193)

I agree, your life sucks (27143) - you deserved it (6366)

On 08/13/2010 at 12:14pm - kids - by qtpieo1 - United States (Ohio)

Today, the cute guy I met on Halloween finally decided to meet up with me after almost 10 months of phone calls, IM, and emails. He was noticeably disappointed and said I looked different. On Halloween I had full face zombie makeup. FML

#12271969 (188)

I agree, your life sucks (21488) - you deserved it (2997)

On 08/02/2010 at 7:43pm - love - by Doubleyew1 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got married. During the reception my husband got drunk and told 200+ people that we met at a dingy bar and that we "totally banged" all night. I don't know what's worse, the fact he embarrassed me in front of everyone I know, or if it was that that was not how we met. Not even close. FML

#12231460 (110)

I agree, your life sucks (28584) - you deserved it (2382)

On 07/31/2010 at 7:31pm - intimacy - by wtf (woman) - United States (Idaho)

Today, I was showing a house to a couple who were interested in buying. At least they "were" interested until they opened the blinds, looked out of the bedroom window and saw the neighbor on the toilet taking a dump. He was naked. He was hairy. He smiled and waved. FML

#12109391 (154)

I agree, your life sucks (25608) - you deserved it (2164)

On 07/25/2010 at 8:07pm - work - by anon (woman) - Canada (Ontario)