About freakizoid_5000 : NIL
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I injured my knee and dislocated my shoulder fighting over a cookie with my brother. He's 14. I'm 26. He still got the cookie. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8507) - you deserved it (23449)
On 08/30/2010 at 6:34am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Oman (Masqat)
Today, I was taking care of a friend's hamster. Thinking the hamster wanted to make a bed, I put some cotton balls in his cage so he would be comfy. He promptly ate them and died. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11386) - you deserved it (25981)
On 08/28/2010 at 12:56am - animals - by Kelli (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I came home to see my husband talking to his penis. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23393) - you deserved it (7924)
On 08/24/2010 at 2:17am - intimacy - by chewybarseventy (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I found out what people really think about the beard I've been proudly growing for over a month. It appears that my face now looks like an unshaven ballsack. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6273) - you deserved it (16449)
On 03/10/2010 at 10:00am - misc - by RyanM (man) - France (Languedoc-Roussillon)
Today, I was carrying a hot cup of noodles. I sneezed and accidentally stabbed myself in the forehead with a fork. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18103) - you deserved it (4272)
On 02/11/2010 at 1:35pm - misc - by Nick (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I was carrying a hot cup of noodles. I sneezed and accidentally stabbed myself in the forehead with a fork. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18103) - you deserved it (4272)
On 02/11/2010 at 1:35pm - misc - by Nick (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I was on MSN with my friend and my 9 year old brother. My friend asked me for some advice about how to give a guy a good blowjob. I went into great detail, and then realised that I had typed it to the wrong window. I gave my little brother tips on how to perform fellatio. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19495) - you deserved it (83710)
On 04/02/2009 at 11:34am - intimacy - by imsorrytimmy (woman) - United Kingdom (Wolverhampton)
Today, while at the Golden Gate Bridge, I spotted a large group of Asians trying to take a picture. Trying to be a diplomat, I slowly say "You... want me... take picture?" while using hand motions. The man looks at me and says "No thanks asshole, I got it," in plain English. FML
I agree, your life sucks (53306) - you deserved it (418082)
On 03/26/2009 at 3:19am - misc - by Tourist (man) - United States (California)
Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (461014) - you deserved it (572735)
On 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm - intimacy - by RC3Welly (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I was walking when a man pointed a camera at me. I got bitchy about it, and said "Did I say you could take a picture?" He replied with, "No, but can you get the fuck out of the way so I can take one of my wife and kids." I turned around, and they were right behind me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32915) - you deserved it (382650)
On 03/02/2009 at 4:33pm - misc - by PicturePerfect (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Monday 20 May 2013
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