forrestgump14

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forrestgump14

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 227
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About forrestgump14 : I currently have a boner

forrestgump14's page activity

Visits<b>fboy1588</b> - the 04/10/2014 at 5:54pm<b>jaffvis</b> - the 07/07/2013 at 10:55pm<b>Smartdumbblonde</b> - the 03/03/2013 at 9:53pm<b>hannaaaahr</b> - the 02/28/2013 at 12:27pm<b>StaceeeP</b> - the 02/27/2013 at 5:18am<b>DntLookBack</b> - the 02/23/2013 at 8:29pm<b>Rob2342</b> - the 02/23/2013 at 7:28pm<b>kellyrose0322</b> - the 02/23/2013 at 10:20am<b>SuperFmine</b> - the 02/22/2013 at 2:18pm<b>howdeedoo</b> - the 02/22/2013 at 1:36pm<b>80sgurl</b> - the 02/22/2013 at 12:28am

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forrestgump14's favorite FMLs

Today, during a conversation, my boss said, "What, what?" Before I could stop myself, I replied, "In the butt." FML

by whitecollar / 12/04/2012 at 9:43pm / United Kingdom (York) / Work

Today, I walked out of my apartment to see that someone had climbed onto the hood of my car and taken a shit on my windshield. I only moved in a couple of weeks ago. FML

by poopsthegame / 12/03/2012 at 2:36am / United States (Hawaii) / Transportation

Today, my five year old daughter was watching cartoons on TV. Then a Barbie commercial came on. My daughter sang along with the theme song "Be who you want to be, B-A-R-B-I-E." She then turned to me and said "Mom, I want to be a hooker." FML

by ....... / 06/23/2009 at 1:56pm / United States (Colorado) / Kids

Today, I heard my daughter scream at my son through the bathroom door, "Are you jacking off in there or something?" and him scream back at her "Shut up you fucking cunt!" My daughter is 7 and my son is 8. FML

by badmom / 06/10/2009 at 2:09pm / Canada (Quebec) / Intimacy

Today, I had a very intense sexual dream that made me come and left me panting when I woke up. It was the best orgasm I'd ever had. The trouble was, it wasn't about a hot girl, or anything sexy. It was about bacon. FML

by wtfdreams / 05/17/2009 at 8:33am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I went to meet my girlfriends parents for the first time. I accidentally drove past their house the first time, but saw the whole family outside waiting to meet me. I pulled a U-Turn and heard a thud. The whole family watched me run over their dog. FML

by Rhyno / 05/05/2009 at 11:37am / United States (New York) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was at the dentist getting a cavity filled. As she's drilling into my tooth, I feel the drill slip, and then she quickly stuffs gauze into my mouth. She nervously laughs and says to me "Wow! You must really be numb!" FML

by Noname / 03/06/2009 at 5:20pm / United States (Connecticut) / Health