About forrestgump14 : I currently have a boner
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Today, during a conversation, my boss said, "What, what?" Before I could stop myself, I replied, "In the butt." FML
I agree, your life sucks (9461) - you deserved it (19012)
On 12/04/2012 at 9:43pm - work - by whitecollar - United Kingdom (York)
Today, I walked out of my apartment to see that someone had climbed onto the hood of my car and taken a shit on my windshield. I only moved in a couple of weeks ago. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16558) - you deserved it (1147)
On 12/03/2012 at 2:36am - misc - by poopsthegame - United States (Hawaii)
Today, my five year old daughter was watching cartoons on TV. Then a Barbie commercial came on. My daughter sang along with the theme song "Be who you want to be, B-A-R-B-I-E." She then turned to me and said "Mom, I want to be a hooker." FML
I agree, your life sucks (177435) - you deserved it (25382)
On 06/23/2009 at 1:56pm - kids - by ....... (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I heard my daughter scream at my son through the bathroom door, "Are you jacking off in there or something?" and him scream back at her "Shut up you fucking cunt!" My daughter is 7 and my son is 8. FML
I agree, your life sucks (97155) - you deserved it (56296)
On 06/10/2009 at 2:09pm - intimacy - by badmom (woman) - Canada (Quebec)
Today, I had a very intense sexual dream that made me come and left me panting when I woke up. It was the best orgasm I'd ever had. The trouble was, it wasn't about a hot girl, or anything sexy. It was about bacon. FML
I agree, your life sucks (139572) - you deserved it (32544)
On 05/17/2009 at 8:33am - intimacy - by wtfdreams (man) - United States (California)
Today, I went to meet my girlfriends parents for the first time. I accidentally drove past their house the first time, but saw the whole family outside waiting to meet me. I pulled a U-Turn and heard a thud. The whole family watched me run over their dog. FML
I agree, your life sucks (197730) - you deserved it (38491)
On 05/05/2009 at 11:37am - animals - by Rhyno - United States (New York)
Today, I was at the dentist getting a cavity filled. As she's drilling into my tooth, I feel the drill slip, and then she quickly stuffs gauze into my mouth. She nervously laughs and says to me "Wow! You must really be numb!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (121495) - you deserved it (3829)
On 03/06/2009 at 5:20pm - health - by Noname (woman) - United States (Connecticut)
Monday 20 May 2013
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