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foreverjordan

Offline (the 06/04/2015 at 6:17am) | Search for a member

foreverjordan

1Fucked!

foreverjordanforeverjordan
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 12 April 1997 (18 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 517
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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foreverjordan's page activity

Visits<b>karacakal2</b> - yesterday at 8:32pm<b>marshm610</b> - the 06/17/2015 at 8:06pm<b>Sethan01</b> - the 06/04/2015 at 6:27pm

Fucked!<b>marshm610</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 2:06am

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foreverjordan's favorite FMLs

Today, I got woken up and kicked out of bed. Apparently if I cheat in her dreams it still counts. FML

#21419795
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29979) - you deserved it (2627)

On 06/02/2015 at 5:02pm - love - by Jrex89 (man) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, while laughing at a jogger that fell down while running, I choked on my French fries. They had to give me the Heimlich maneuver. FML

#21366627
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13962) - you deserved it (48823)

On 03/02/2015 at 3:40pm - health - by teapotrevolt - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, my girlfriend and I were talking about times we'd made our mothers cry. She said she'd only made her mother cry once. When I asked when, she said, "When I told her I was thinking about dating you." FML

#21364495
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32039) - you deserved it (3015)

On 02/27/2015 at 9:13am - love - by shoggoth_wild - United States (Mississippi)

Today, my classmate said I looked better without makeup. Well, her exact words were, "You look like less of a whore without makeup." FML

Today, I called this girl I've had a crush on for 2 years to confess my love to her. However, as she picked up the phone, I got so nervous that I froze and couldn't say a word. I was standing there, breathing heavily for 20 seconds. She got so freaked out that she threatened to call the police. FML

#21317815
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31066) - you deserved it (8223)

On 12/15/2014 at 6:59am - love - by LonelyGuy (man) - Australia

Today, my sister turned the volume on my phone way up and changed the ringtone to a woman's blood-curdling scream. I found this out when she called my phone at 2am as I slept next to it. I pissed my pants and fell out of bed screaming in terror. I'll never hear the end of this. FML

#21313211
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39109) - you deserved it (4004)

On 12/07/2014 at 3:54pm - kids - by terdberglerforlyfe (man) - Brazil (Sao Paulo)

Today, I farted while I was in the car with my driving instructor and my partner. They couldn't hear it, but it smelled so bad that my instructor thought there was a gas leak, and he made us switch cars. FML

#21312925
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30897) - you deserved it (6305)

On 12/07/2014 at 1:15am - misc - by Gassy and sassy (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I put a picture on Facebook of me without makeup. A "friend" commented: "fuk me thts hideus!!" My dad replied: "Hideous, yes, just like your godawful spelling!" My mom yelled at my dad for agreeing with the guy, and they're still fighting. Meanwhile, my self-esteem is in the gutter. FML

#21312632
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30512) - you deserved it (3355)

On 12/06/2014 at 3:22pm - misc - by fistycunt4 (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, being useless at thinking of gifts, I asked my boyfriend what he wants for Christmas. I said it could be anything that I could afford. He looked me in the eye and said very seriously: "Anal." FML

#21312610
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36617) - you deserved it (11419)

On 12/06/2014 at 2:53pm - intimacy - by fuckered519 (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I met an American guy at a bar. I felt flattered when he said, "You know what they say about Swedish girls, all so beautiful." After a pause, he filled in with, "What the fuck happened to you?" FML

Today, I found out my handwriting is so bad that people think I write in Arabic. FML

#20922701
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43532) - you deserved it (9716)

On 10/16/2013 at 1:37pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, my grandmother called me in a fit of panic because her new neighbors are black. So is my fiancé, whom she is supposed to meet tomorrow. FML

#20921768
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47009) - you deserved it (4702)

On 10/15/2013 at 5:43pm - misc - by secretsmakefriends (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, after months of exercise and diets and finally reaching my ideal weight, I told my morbidly obese cousin about my success, hoping to motivate him to do the same. He replied, "Why would it matter, you're still ugly." FML

#20921493
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46778) - you deserved it (5281)

On 10/15/2013 at 1:08pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, someone stole my umbrella. It was pouring heavily, and I was using it at the time. FML

#20914908
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39822) - you deserved it (3033)

On 10/10/2013 at 7:27am - misc - by happyturtle (woman) - Croatia

Today, I took my car to be repaired. The mechanic put out his hand when he saw me, so I shook it. He just wanted my keys. FML

#20914766
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35296) - you deserved it (6067)

On 10/10/2013 at 1:22am - misc - by keyshame - Australia (New South Wales)



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