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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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flinkpamingo

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flinkpamingo
  • Town/Country : Montana, United States
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 1 October 1963 (48 years)
  • Number of visits : 763
  • Number of comments : 171
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About flinkpamingo : Crap, I'm almost a fossil!! The incredibly PROUD mom of a U.S. soldier and a WONDERFUL dancer whom I greatly admire. When she marries soon, I will get to put my "grandma pants" on. WooHoo! Finally, someone to play with again and I can quit borrowing other people's kids !!

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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

flinkpamingo's favorite FMLs

Today, I was eating with a friend while walking on the sidewalk. A couple of pigeons were bothering us so I threw a fry onto the street. As a flock of pigeons were gathering around the fry, a truck drove by. Only four survived. FML

#4674126 (346)

I agree, your life sucks (13575) - you deserved it (32530)

On 08/20/2009 at 2:22am - misc - by anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting a bit steamy. After a few minutes, he jumps up and runs over to the closet and puts on a long brown jacket putting the hood over to his eyes. He looks me in the eyes and says 'I am Obi Wan Kenobi and I'm going to slay you with my light saber'. FML

#4223881 (232)

I agree, your life sucks (40813) - you deserved it (6905)

On 08/02/2009 at 3:17am - misc - by dam01 (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my cell phone was stolen. I work in a morgue. By myself. Obviously it wasn't stolen by any of those people. FML

#4154850 (116)

I agree, your life sucks (30088) - you deserved it (2709)

On 07/30/2009 at 4:58am - misc - by emily (woman) - United States (New York) - moderated by the Jackass crew

Today, I was at the Wild Animal Park. There were bees everywhere. One brave bee, thinking he was Mr. Macho, flew right down my tank top in between my boobs. I freaked the hell out and ended up screaming and pulling down my shirt to get the bee out. I flashed about 10 kids and their families. FML

#4097129 (260)

I agree, your life sucks (38365) - you deserved it (6679)

On 07/28/2009 at 1:00am - kids - by bsaucedo (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend told me that we would be living out one of his fantasies. When I showed up, ready to go, he began playing the theme song to Star Trek and asked me to call him Mr. Spock. FML

#4095449 (201)

I agree, your life sucks (36162) - you deserved it (5561)

On 07/28/2009 at 12:15am - intimacy - by saynotochrispine (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, while spray painting a rocking horse for my kids I left the can outside in the sun. When I picked it up it was hot to the touch and I dropped it. It exploded on impact and now I am more blue than the rocking horse. FML

#4083142 (158)

I agree, your life sucks (30421) - you deserved it (14413)

On 07/27/2009 at 4:08pm - animals - by usafprog (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I was in the car with my husband complaining about the way I look. His response, "Babe, if I cared about the way you looked I wouldnt have married you." FML

#4052154 (163)

I agree, your life sucks (34646) - you deserved it (11498)

On 07/26/2009 at 11:16am - love - by JennaMarie (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my nose was really stuffed up and I was out of cold medicine. I heard spices may help with this kind of problem. Unfortunately I thought red pepper would be a great thing to snort at the time. Not only is my nose still stuffed up but I also have immense nasal pain. FML

#4046388 (174)

I agree, your life sucks (4446) - you deserved it (56558)

On 07/26/2009 at 1:57am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, while in the middle of having sex with my husband, instead of saying something sexy in my ear, he whispered, "We are so gonna make pizza after this." FML

#4044243 (251)

I agree, your life sucks (40418) - you deserved it (5034)

On 07/26/2009 at 12:37am - intimacy - by PTKFML (woman) - United States

Today, I passed a homeless person asking for change. When I politely apologized and told him I had none, he yelled angrily "who comes to this city without money?" I replied "apparently, you do." Wrong answer. He followed me, now screaming. FML

#4029321 (215)

I agree, your life sucks (36261) - you deserved it (19557)

On 07/25/2009 at 12:39pm - money - by re2K5 (man) - Korea Republic of (Kyongsang-bukto)

Today, I was walking down the strip with a friend when we saw a homeless man with no arm. I felt bad, so I gave him some cash and I looked into his poor little eyes when he put out his arm for a hug. Without thinking, I hugged him. Right as I was thinking, "wtf am I doing," he kissed my boob. FML

#4021792 (165)

I agree, your life sucks (12707) - you deserved it (36031)

On 07/25/2009 at 1:19am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I was in an elevator with my dad and several strangers. When the elevator voice said, "Going down," my dad excitedly said, "Man, I love it when she says that!" loudly enough for everyone to hear. FML

#4000566 (117)

I agree, your life sucks (33007) - you deserved it (3024)

On 07/24/2009 at 6:01am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my mother invited me to a nice restaurant to meet her boyfriend whom she's been seriously dating for a month. Imagine my surprise when she led me to a table and my boyfriend's father stood up, shocked, to greet me. Rather than being horrified, she is now planning double dates every week. FML

#3988589 (132)

I agree, your life sucks (40173) - you deserved it (1737)

On 07/23/2009 at 8:52pm - love - by pleaseno (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, while showering at my boyfriend's house early this morning, I saw a huge black spider on the wall. I am allergic to spiders, so in my disorientation I ran out of the shower screaming, slipped, sprained my wrist and bruised my tailbone. Turns out the spider was a clump of hair. My hair. FML

#3981210 (145)

I agree, your life sucks (12414) - you deserved it (28848)

On 07/23/2009 at 3:43pm - animals - by emmey (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I said to the pool-boy of my house: “I know what you are doing and you have to stop it.” He started shouting that I had no right to tell them what to do and that they were in love. He was referring to his relationship with my eldest son. I wanted to tell him to stop drinking my beers. FML

#3973803 (274)

I agree, your life sucks (45486) - you deserved it (5884)

On 07/23/2009 at 7:13am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Greece (Attiki)