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flamingonion

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flamingonion

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  • Number of visits : 1228
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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flamingonion's page activity

Visits<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 10:32pm<b>mandyreid_</b> - the 09/15/2009 at 4:01pm<b>manners</b> - the 09/11/2009 at 10:08pm

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flamingonion's favorite FMLs

Today, I got my renewed driver's license. It clearly indicates 'Sex: F'. My beard and penis beg to differ. FML

#5081396
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45042) - you deserved it (3502)

On 09/06/2009 at 1:10pm - misc - by HeShe (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, while giving a lecture about gases to a large chemistry class, I went outside to let loose an unusualy loud fart while they took some notes. I came back in only to see 300 students dying of laughter. I had left the wireless mic on. FML

#5033555
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14331) - you deserved it (42035)

On 09/04/2009 at 12:30am - work - by DrGas (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I went to my school to take my yearbook picture. I was wearing a shirt that said ANALOG on the front. When I bent in to take the picture, part of my shirt overlapped itself. Now I'm known as the ANAL kid in the yearbook. FML

#5002532
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38775) - you deserved it (16975)

On 09/02/2009 at 5:23pm - misc - by boytoy (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went to my school to take my yearbook picture. I was wearing a shirt that said ANALOG on the front. When I bent in to take the picture, part of my shirt overlapped itself. Now I'm known as the ANAL kid in the yearbook. FML

#5002532
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38775) - you deserved it (16975)

On 09/02/2009 at 5:23pm - misc - by boytoy (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was trying to have sex with my boyfriend, David. I moaned his name and he whispered, "I'm not David." Then, with an Italian accent, he said, "It's-a-me! Mario!" FML

#4882481
345 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63066) - you deserved it (16017)

On 08/28/2009 at 1:11pm - intimacy - by Michelle (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I needed new business cards so I went to design and print some. After I designed, I was happy with them and printed off 100 copies. I live at a place called Canal Rocks. I forgot the 'C'. I now have 76 business cards which say 'anal rocks.' I already distributed 24. FML

#4678208
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15563) - you deserved it (43088)

On 08/20/2009 at 9:23am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. After about 10 minutes, when we change positions, he shouts: "Power Rangers - Transform!" FML

#4636801
258 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56929) - you deserved it (11366)

On 08/18/2009 at 7:45pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was at my school's spaghetti dinner with my family. My brother shook up my mom's soda, as a prank. My entire class witnessed my mom waving around an overflowing Diet Coke while my dad yelled, "Come on, put your mouth on it! Suck it! Suck it, Kathy!" FML

#4630669
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (113263) - you deserved it (8505)

On 08/18/2009 at 3:20pm - misc - by gbhlaughingstock (man) - United States

Today, I was taking a shower and I saw a new body wash that said "radiance ribbons." That sounded a little effeminate, but it smelled manly enough and the only alternative was normal soap, so I used it. Just now, I stepped out into the sun and found out what "radiance ribbons" means. I sparkle. FML

#3639578
461 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59131) - you deserved it (30758)

On 07/10/2009 at 1:03pm - misc - by takinabreak (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was riding on the back of my dad's motorcycle. After a few minutes, the vibrations from the engine became way too much for me and I couldn't control myself. I had such an intense orgasm, sitting right behind my father, with my arms around his waist. FML

#3192725
301 comments

I agree, your life sucks (83187) - you deserved it (14207)

On 06/25/2009 at 12:01am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was at McDonald's and I was going through the drive-thru. As I was driving away, I checked my food and the lady had given me a Night at the Museum Happy Meal toy by mistake. I got so excited that I crashed the car into a pole. I'm 36. FML

#2966896
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28540) - you deserved it (65321)

On 06/17/2009 at 12:35pm - misc - by NotSoYoung (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I had to give a presentation about Adolf Hitler. I wanted to point out he was a very good speaker, and could incite a crowd. Instead, what came out was 'Hitler's oral skills made everyone go wild with excitement" FML

#2508726
300 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37076) - you deserved it (62359)

On 06/01/2009 at 7:12pm - misc - by Cail (woman) - United States (New Jersey)



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